看板 AGEC93 關於我們 聯絡資訊
  人究竟懼怕的是什麼?是未知抑或死亡呢?事實上,考察之下我們發現此二者實是互包含的, 試問,若我們概念中沒有對「未知」抱著「它可能傷害我性命」的觀念, 我們怕他作麼?孩提時,我常以為人會怕的只有「痛」,若死不跟「痛」連結在一起, 那時我想我是不怕它的。這當然是小孩子的想法。於今考之所有生物, 嘗發現生物的基本定義就是「怕死」,非怕死者不足以為生命。 「怕死」包含一切覓食行為、繁殖行為(使自身的「形象」延續), 我們一再發現這全是生命的基本構造。無可否認的,生命本身就是種「純化」現象, 化學告訴我們把兩杯無生命的溶液倒在一起,他們自然會混得均勻;反之, 我們觀察小樹苗從泥土裡萌發出來,會產生一種錯覺, 好像是從混沌的泥中被抽出一種綠嫩嫩的、「純粹」的東西。 而粹取這種「純粹」的力量,就是生命。 由此我們得以界分「生命」與「無生命」, 無生命趨向混沌、雜亂、大融合; 生命指向純粹、反位能、與異化個別化。 生命本身是無生命的逆否,我們怕的是變成那種混沌、雜亂、大融合的東西。 以下節錄一篇MiaViolet的《天靈之眼如是觀(Through Celestial Eyes)》, 希望能為我的說法作表述。 I do not understand why the legends say that the moment of awakening is the ultimate experience of power... of triumph... of victory. I know that in the moment of my awakening to my destiny as Daughter of Light, I felt despair wash over me like the swelling waves of the sea. For then, as I was surrounded in blinding light and filled with Light's power, as the part of me that knew doubt and fear -- fear of Destiny, the mortal's fear of the unknown -- was subdued into a tiny corner of myself and replaced by the immortal, the far-seeing, the powerful, I was watching my teacher's life slowly drain away until, as the light surrounding me died down, she was nothing but a lifeless body lying on the cold stone floor. It was then that I saw in all its clarity the truth that as a life was given another one was taken. In my blossoming into the being of destiny known as the Daughter of Light, the petals of my teacher's life closed in a farewell to the world and to the cosmos she had spent the whole of her life protecting. I remember the sensation of her limp, still warm body against mine as I cradled her against me, shrieking her name through tear-wet lips. I was filled with the power of the stars now; I could feel it rush through my veins like quicksilver, its touch electrifying and burning at the same time. But as I touched my fingertips to the wound in her breast that Darkness' minions had made as she engaged them in her final battle -- for then, she knew she was weakening -- to give me the rest of her power, I saw that I could do nothing even with my new-found power. Florynna, my beloved elven teacher, was gone. Gone, to give me the power that she had within her. Gone in self-sacrifice for me. LH 2003 -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 140.112.7.59