[閒聊] how to become Graham

[cherified (榭俐霏)]

整理精華區時發現元老板友們留下了一個彌足珍貴的網站--

許久以前由一個法國歌迷所建立的葛拉拉fansite

http://lethargy.free.fr/homepage.html

非常詭異的是他從2003? 2004? 年以後就說這個網站不會再更新了

(怪哉是站長跟葛拉拉吵架嗎???XD)

因為年久失修的關係,裡面的資料所剩無幾,基本上只有文字檔殘存下來

不過呢這資料還是非常珍貴的,各位綿羊迷們都知道,我們的葛拉拉是不搞八卦的

若上網查graham coxon profile 只會得到基本到不行的資料

比方說在德國出生啦,把拔Bob馬麻pauline啦,身高有180啦, = =

進階點的,ex愛喝酒/換過不少女朋友(??)/戴著沒有度數的眼鏡/住在camden 36號之外

從這篇"如何變成葛拉拉"可以稍微看到他的內心世界喔!!!

希望這篇文章內容沒有op過:P

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1. Let's start with the shoes : buy yourself a pair of red converse, a pair of
bogues, a pair of skater shoes (and tie the laces with a huge knot, even if it
 makes you feel dumb), a pair of ethnies. But remember, even if all of your
friends wear Dr Martens shoes, you must never wear any.

(馬汀大夫是某個D開頭的大叔穿的吧)



2. Now, the T-shirts : any stripes one will do. If you have money, buy yourself\
 some movie related ones (example : Abbyss). A less expensive solution would
be to draw on basic T-shirts youself : buy an XL light blue one and draw a
smoking dog on it, and write "Bob Hund" above. You can also write Cheryl,
Grave Digger, Grand Royal, Levi's, the Roxons or Lonsdale on it. Buy a
Fred Perry shirt. As for sweatshirts, get a hold of a Lonsdale and a
Philip Basketball one, or a grey one with a hood and two blur stripes
on the sleeve.


(葛拉拉的犯人/斑馬裝的確很明顯)


3. As for the trousers : get some baggy Carhartt, and basically any pair of
jeans that's baggy, as well as a pair of beige baggy shorts.


(他確實還蠻喜歡米色說)



4. Get yourself two pairs of glasses : a thick pair (preferably black) and
a normal pair.

(依照鏡片的折射率來看,他根本沒有近視/眼鏡根本沒度數吧!!!)



>> There you go, you know have all the material to *look like* Graham !



5. Now, the hair : cut them pretty short and die them black. Do not brush them \
or anything. Even in a bad hair day, leave them standing vertically on your
head.


(最近有留長的趨勢,鬍子也是!!)


6. Buy a green skateboard. Learn to skateboard, and don't worry about skating
b\arefoot. Even if your toes end up completely cut up. When you feel confident
 enough about your skills, use it as your main means of transport. Go to gigs
on it for example.


(他哪時當起了skater boy了)



7. Get a cat and call him Bastard.


(他一不小心就會忘記餵貓吧...表演的時候吉他都會拿錯= = 貓咪被叫這名好可憐)



8. Buy yourself Les Paul Gibson Guitar, it's powerful and reliable.
Put a sticker on it. Then learn how to play. Really well. That'll be the
hardest part, so don't give up, even when you feel you're crap. You can't be
crap, you're Graham Coxon's clone for fuck's sake !! While you're at it, you
should also try to learn saxophon, drums, bass guitar, clarinet, etc etc...
Plus, if you have a lot of money, get all of his guitars (ie a Fender '52
Telecaster, a Fender Stratocaster, a Fender Musicmaster, a Fender Jaguar,
a Squire Telecaster, a Gibson SG, a Gibson ES-335, a Guild Acoustic, a
Gibson Acoustic, and a Harmony Sovereign).


(在吉他手雜誌09八月號有講葛拉拉在13歲時"霸占"他sister-- hayley的吉他XD
 06四月號有說他變得越來越greedy bout guitars...need to get some more)



9. Buy a house in Camden and go down the pub a lot. Play pool a little.

(這間pub 必包含 good mixer,大家都知道吧!!! 到底是哪一條巷子的36號呢???)




10. Paint a lot. Put a lot of black and beige. Never make happy paintings
though. They must look like they come from some troubled mind, which would
still be a bit childish though. Be talented.


(葛拉拉近年越來越不憂鬱了...覺得06是他最帥!!的時候,現在也很帥啦只是更有大叔感)
(夢大部落格裡面有一張葛拉拉正在簽名畫圖的照片,
 那個情態總讓我想到日本女優*毆飛* 沒有侮辱夢大部落格的意思!!! <囧>)


11. Say PJ Harvey is nothing very complicated and then change your mind a
few days later. Go to the quotes section of this website and learn all of
them by heart, and try to say them during interviews.


(我不知道PJ是誰耶!!!)



12. Find yourself a Swedish girlfriend (or teach your girlfriend Sweddish), and
have a daughter with her. Give her an original name like... errr...
Salt (haha).


(anna小姐好像跟葛拉拉分開很久了耶,不過看來兩人關係還算良好)




13. If you don't smoke yet, i'm afraid you're gonna have to start.
And not only cigarettes of course.


(這是好幾年前的資料了吧,葛拉拉好像不抽菸很久囉)
謎之音: 這樣來台灣會比較習慣啊!!! XD



14. Make crap jokes. Here's an example : when you go to the zoo and see huge
fish, say : "Imagine the size of the chips !".


(這是像我一樣的貪吃鬼才會懂的笑點XDDDDDD)



15. Listen to music like Sonic Youth, Fungus, Nick Drake, Bob Hund,
the Radar Bros, Mission of Burma... American hardccore will do, always.


(葛拉拉常常在催特上面回SY的留言!!)



16. Don't sleep too much, so that you always have dark circles beneath
your eyes.


(我覺得他黑眼圈沒有很深)



17. Bite your lips a lot and basically do weird stuff with them ;
scratch your eyes a lot, as well as your head.


(眾所周知的小動作)



18. Buy yourself a golden dollar necklace, even if it's dreadful.


(只知道他常戴一個類似愛心造型的項鍊耶)



19. Make up your own group with the guy who made fun of you in primary school
(you know, the one who made fun of your shoes !). Be successful in that first
group. Then start a solo career too, and make two albums all by yourself
(write, play all the instruments, sing, produce). The first one must be
depressing, and the second one must be angry. Do a five dates tour even
though you'd said earlier in your career that singing in front of people
was embarrassing.


(大門好像是說: 嘿!你的鞋子很蠢,看我的吧!!!)

謎之音:你自己現在還不是變得掐比+私立匹 = =



20. Jump high during gigs.


(拿手絕活!!!)



21. Make fun of French TV presenters during interviews, and do not answer to
their questions.



(我一直覺得葛拉拉很愛說些怪怪的法文)




22. Tell Ash you're a fan of theirs.

(這裡的ash絕對不是dragon ash)




23. Do not like Damien Hirst and Chris Evans. Do not like football and
Page Three girls. But do not say so until you're being asked.


(要他運動簡直是要了他的命...吧,只愛騎摩托車= =)




24. Sing a little out of key during live performances, always look at your
guitar and almost never at the croud or at your bandsmate. Sing quite low
too, you don't want people to hear you do you !?


(靦腆>//<)



25. When you sign autographs, write "Graham Coxon" and draw a heart below,
but mess it up, make it look more like a flower.


(長期觀察:他的個性一定有隱性的破壞因子,
包括mess-ups 跟 strong colors 還有 vociferous riffs都是他快感的來源!!!!)

再複習一下MTV 2 indie cribs of graham coxon 亂得跟什麼一樣




26. Drink Stellas. And tea. But do not mix them.


(不敢喝酒= =好苦)




27. When the lead singer of your band screws up in the words of songs,
make fun of him. But do forget the words of the songs too.


(每次都會想到大門嚴重走音的那首beetlebum!!!!!!!!!!! 想到都會笑)




28. Play some of your guitar solos backwards.


(怎麼弄啊!!!好想聽聽看)




29. Be friends with the members of Idlewild.


(我也超愛idlewild)



30. Take your daughter to gigs, even when she is still very very little.

(聽說 you & i 這首歌就是從葛拉拉跟胡椒妹說的話發展出來的喔!!!
"it's gonna be a while/until i really see u smile"
好像是說巡迴之前要哄女兒"把拔一下就回家囉"吧!!!XD by 吉他手06四月號)




31. Sleep on your stomach.

(我知道葛拉拉常常俯臥睡!!! 可是這樣好累喔會呼吸不良)




32. Get a tiny black tattoo on the top of your left arm.


(彗星造型的刺青...怪)




33. Don't talk too much. Look sensitive and shy. But don't be too nice to
people. Just look complex.


(也有聽說過葛拉拉討厭james blunt還嗆他 you're pitiful!!!!)





rock stArs Are not cool 2000-2003 - all rights reserved


這句話是葛拉拉的名言嗎? 被當作站名耶,讓我想起snoopy當中schroeder跟lucy說

"beethoven was NOT CUTE!" (w/ a serious tone) XD



--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 61.57.141.239
※ 編輯: cherified       來自: 61.57.141.239        (09/08 23:15)
推 Moronica:到底日本女優是啥意思 XD 我還回去翻照片出來端詳老半天
→ cherified:我也不知道  可能是像迷妹說的  有抿嘴吧XDD
→ cherified:然後  低頭簽名的方式  相較後面大叔  看來十分羸弱@O@
→ cherified:不管啦真的超像的!!!夢大拍照功力了得~~~
推 TofuPanny:來推一下這篇～ :D
→ cherified:竟然被三劍客之一授予騎士地位了  天啊我何德何能!!
推 TofuPanny:板主你... XDDDD （來人啊牽馬來！）