[轉錄]童子拜觀音!?...什麼鳥!?沒聽過!!

[shandidi (...)]

※ [本文轉錄自 StupidClown 看板]

作者: seeingrain (.........) 看板: StupidClown
標題: 童子拜觀音!?...什麼鳥!?沒聽過!!
時間: Sat Nov 11 03:58:16 2006




還記得宿營的戲，"西遊記"裡有一段叫什麼..."童子拜觀音"什麼的..??= =a





每次驗戲的時候演到那裡都會讓我突然想到一位同學





想當初高中時，一下課都會朋友約一約一起去廁所上廁所的經驗





不過大部分都在聊天打屁





有一次我跟幾個朋友照慣例一起到廁所





為了方便...我暫時稱這幾個朋友代號





A同學跟B同學還有我三個人到廁所去





男生的廁所只要一下課小便斗幾乎是客滿，而且每一排後面還會排很多人在等





這次我們全都要上廁所，所以每個人排一排，示意圖↓







J   J  J  J　　　←小便斗

O   O  O  O ←放著狂戰士正在飆尿的男人(-防)

O   O  O  O ←充滿著即將爆發尿液的認真的好學生

O   O  O  O →同上

↑ ↑ ↑

A同學 B同學 我





等了許久，終於到我們前面的人尿了(感動)





這時B同學從他前面那個正在享受男人飆尿的浪漫的人的背影發現他是我們班上的C同學





B同學:[咦!?這不是XXX嗎?哈哈!!]然後一臉邪惡的奸詐樣...看來他是想趁C同學正在狂戰士而毫無防禦且無法反抗的情況下





對他做出不堪的事情...(C同學由於在班上很好開玩笑所以B同學不會對他有所客氣，反而有一點放水會對不起C同學)





這時B同學的手勢做了出來...哇!這就是傳說中的千年殺嗎??





B同學集氣集了三秒，然後就在這個時候!!!!





啪嚓!!B同學雙手的食指跟中指竟消失在C同學的屁股上





這可真謂一陽指的最高境界，連南帝一燈大師都有過之而不及啊~~





[贛!!!!!!!!!]C同學的慘叫聲響徹整個廁所





這聲"贛"字的慘叫是真的相當淒零，一個男人所發出的慘叫聲，而且叫到後面快結束時還轉音為假音，最後以稍微沙啞的氣聲漸漸淡出





這沙啞可真是沙的剛剛好、啞的恰恰準，好一個完美的結尾





而C同學的臉型面目似猙獰似掙扎，眼球外凸泛血絲，咬牙切齒、面部抽筋，而脖子的靜脈、動脈、淋巴結和神經全都出來探頭





咦!?!?!?!!??!!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?





!?!?!?!!??!!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?





!?!?!?!!??!!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?





C同學的臉???!?!?!?!!??!!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?





!?!?!?!!??!!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?





!?!?!?!!??!!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?











贛!!他不是我們所說的C同學....................................................





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B同學就這樣愣住...































































然後這位無辜的"偽C同學"轉過身來，然後一巴掌往B同學臉上打下去，罵了一聲贛!然後一拐一拐的走掉





那個背影我想我ㄧ輩子都不會忘記，那充滿恥辱、惆悵、黯然、銷魂的背影





我國中一直無法理解的"朱自清""背影"一文中所表達的感情，這時我總算能夠體會朱自清那時的感受了...看著他的背影遠離，我流淚了...





那背影好黯然、好銷魂啊...

















而爆點呢??大概就是那位偽C同學尿到一半被捅得褲子上佈滿激發的淚液....





還有B同學被那沾滿屬於男人的浪漫的手一巴掌打在臉上......





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