[閒聊] 帥滿為患 人盡其用

[jftsai (射門。得分。歐冠)]

Many Managers

帥滿為患


翻譯：末日重現
版權：http://bbs.qieerxi.com/viewthread.php?tid=72554&extra=page%3D1
來源：http://www.chelsea.vitalfootball.co.uk/article.asp?a=501352



With the imminent arrival of Henk Ten Cate as assistant head coach at Chelsea,
as well as a revised role for Steve Clarke, is the management / coaching setup
at Stamford becoming too heavy?

助理教練藤卡特即將到來，克拉克的腳色重新定位，切爾西的管理/教練組織會不會過於
龐大？


The question deserves to be considered and debated heavily in the tabloids,
especially in light of further rumours that Frank Rijkaard and Guus Hiddink are
also in the frame. Then there are also issues to be resolved as to the role
that Jamie Redknapp and / or Gary McAllister could play in such a set-up, not
to mention rumours that (deep breath) Fabio Capello, Jurgen Klinsmann, Juande
Ramos, Marco Van Basten, Marcello Lippi and John Gregory are in contention,
with roles apparently for former Chelsea legends Graeme Le Saux, Marcel
Desailly and Gianfranco Zola.

這個問題肯定會被小報關注並引起各種爭論，尤其是涉及到里傑卡爾德和希丁克的傳聞。
還有消息說雷德納普和/或麥克阿里斯特也在名單之中，更不用提關於（深呼吸）卡佩羅
克林斯曼、拉莫斯、范.巴斯滕、馬賽羅.里皮、及格里高利的傳聞了。還有幾個切爾西的
傳奇人物：勒索、德塞利、左拉。


According to an astonishing plan that is hatching at Stamford Bridge it would
appear that EVERY SINGLE ONE of these managers will be hired (and more). The
New Look Chelsea management set-up will see each player having his own personal
coach, harvested from this list of football dignitaries; the role of Avram
Grant, Henk Ten Cate and Steve Clarke will be to co-ordinate between this crowd
of managers and coaches; Steve Clarke overseeing the personal coaches of the
more defensive players, and Ten Cate having responsibility for the offensive
group. It is thought that, to help facilitate the link between the two groups,
Claude Makelele, the man who has given his name to a position on the field,
will move into management over the next few months.

鑒於斯坦福橋正在進行的大手筆，很有可能"每一個人"都會被聘用。從這份足壇名貴榜中
，我們可以看到新的切爾西教練班底將保證每個球員都有自己的私人教練；在這群經理及
教練中，格蘭特，騰卡特和克拉克起到協調作用；史蒂夫.克拉克管理防守為主球員的私人
教練們，騰卡特負責進攻組。我的想法是，促進這兩個小組更好合作的，將是馬克萊萊，
這位中場球員的典範，將在幾個月後加入教練群。


Details of the scheme are scarce, we are putting together rumour, speculation
and conjecture. However, it would appear that Fabio Capello is the elected
coach of John Terry, who will teach the England coach to be even more
uncompromising, and the art of stingy catenaccio, not to mention gesticulating
wildly from the sidelines to nobody in particular as an acceptable alternative
to getting into the ref`s face. Furthermore, Capello, who famously has a
sponsorship with a famous maker of spectacles, wants to extend that contract
to John`s facemask.

細節方面十分不足，所以我們要綜合所有的謠言,猜測及各種臆想來分析。卡佩羅將是特里
的理想教練，他也將教會英格蘭的教練如何更加地強硬，沉悶433陣型的藝術，而站在場邊
誇張地做各種手勢，沒有明確的對象，只為了吸引裁判注意的習慣，就更不用說了。除此
之外，卡佩羅氏一家很有名的眼鏡公司的贊助人，他可以把它的業務拓展到特里的面罩上
。


Initially Marcel Desailly will work with Alex and Tal Ben Haim (before a second
centreback coach can be brought in); it is felt that Alex, in particular,
displays too much joy on his face. Marcel has been hired to perfect the Alex`s
central defender scowl.

剛開始德塞利會指導阿曆克斯和本哈伊姆（直到第二名中後衛教練到來）；而似乎阿曆克
斯，尤其是他，臉上的表情太豐富了。德賽利的任務就是讓阿曆克斯像其他中後衛那樣面
無表情。


Needless to say, Wayne Bridge and Ashley Cole are to be coached by the
left-back`s left-back Graeme Le Saux, who will also bring to their roles on the
pitch some mentoring in reading and writing for The Guardian after the dog`s
dinner that was Ashley Cole`s biography. As for Gianfranco Zola, he will be
tasked with injecting some fantasy and joie de vivre to Andriy Shevchenko`s
play. Sheva, however, is said to have drawn a line in the sand to dressing
like Gianfranco. 'I`m sticking with my Armani sponsorship, and nobody is going
to tell me to wear my hear like Zola`, Sheva hardballed.

不用說，布里奇和阿什利.科爾將會師從左邊衛之王-樂索。他還將教會他們閱讀，並且寫
一本阿什利科爾的自傳《飽餐的後衛們》。至於佐拉，他的任務是為安德烈舍普琴科的表
演增加娛樂性。然而舍瓦，卻要與左拉的穿著劃清界限。" 我和我的贊助商亞曼尼關系很
好，所以我不想聽到類似要穿的像左拉這樣的話"，舍瓦申明道。


Salomon Kalou is to benefit from Jurgen Klinsmann`s personal coaching to help
the Ivory Coast youngster become colder in front of the goal. He will also be
tasked with making Kalou`s diving far more convincing, and off the pitch to
look fetching in a combination of a plain white shirt and black trousers.

卡盧將會從他的私人教練克林斯曼的教導中受益，他將學會如何在門前更冷靜。他還將教
會卡盧如何讓假摔看起來更真，在場外，他穿白衫搭配黑褲，顯得迷人的多。


Marcello Lippo is to be given responsibility for Michael Essien. Our source at
Stamford Bridge, who asked not to be named, explained this unconventional
choice: "Marcello has never been a slave to positional orthodoxy, refusing to
be bound by a rigid tactical approach. Given the number of different roles
that Essien has had to assume at Chelsea, we feel he would benefit from someone
who is so flexible".

里皮負責邁埃辛。我們在斯坦福橋的消息來源──此人不願公開身份──解釋了這個非傳
統選擇：" 里皮從來不是正統體制的奴隸，他拒絕循規蹈矩。埃辛在切爾西要打多個位置
，我們覺得師從一位靈活多變的人將會讓他收益頗豐。"


Frank Rijkaard will be asked to channel Joe Cole`s energy and undoubted
potential as an attacking midfielder with a dose of fantasy. He will, however,
be asked to improve Joe Cole`s shooting accuracy rather than his spitting,
which is hitherto undeveloped (and Chelsea would like to keep it this way). It
is considered that Joe Cole has the potential to become England (and
Chelsea`s) Ronaldinho, although it is not clear if, to achieve this, Joe Cole
will beasked to go out with Rijkaard`s daughter.

里傑卡爾德會引導喬科爾的能量及無庸置疑的潛能，使他成為夢幻般的攻擊中場。他還會
更注重小喬的射門精確度，而不是他的分球，這一點小喬一直做不好（切爾西會堅持這一
點的）。喬科爾很有潛能成為英格蘭的（以及切爾西的）羅納爾迪尼奧，盡管這一點現在
尚不明確，不過為了能達到這一成就，喬科爾必須與里傑卡爾德的女兒約會。


The suggestion that Frank Lampard should team up with his (only slightly older)
cousin Jamie Redknapp, however, has not gone down well. Apparently Jamie and
Frank always used to fight at the Lampard / Redknapp family Christmases as to
which side of the family were the bigger West Ham legends. Redknapp has been
targeted to help improve Chelsea`s public image, based on his vast experience
as a Sky Sports commentator. But this decision has rankled Lampard: "I don`t
need my pants-breath cousin to help me to reduce my entire vocabulary of
descriptive adjectives to the one word, 'amazing`, and neither does anyone
need to tell me how to mis-use the term 'literally`", he muttered.

還有建議說蘭帕德應該和他的表兄吉米.雷德納普綁在一起，不過這個組合不會很好。很
明顯吉米和弗蘭克經常會在蘭帕德/雷德納普家的聖誕聚會上吵架，爭論誰才是西漢姆聯
第一傳奇。鑒於他曾經是天空體育的評論員，雷德納普的目標還包括改善切爾西的公眾
形象。但是這激怒了蘭帕德：" 我不需要和我穿一條褲子長大的表兄來限制我的辭彙，把
我的形容詞縮減到只剩一個「讚」，也不用別人告訴我怎樣濫用'字面意思'一詞 "，他
嘀咕道。


And so on; the precise roles of the likes of Guus Hiddink, Juande Ramos and
Marco Van Basten are yet to be decided. "However, they are clearly big-name
coaches, best to sign them first, and then assign them to a player once they
are on our books" said our anonymous source. "Besides, it`s accepted Chelsea
policy to sign people to ensure that nobody else gets their hands on them".

繼續，希丁克、拉莫斯、范.巴斯滕等確切的工作還沒有定案。"他們無疑都是大牌教練，
最好先把他們簽下來，再分配他們的工作。"我們匿名的眼線這樣說。" 而且，切爾西的
向來的政策就是先下手為強，防止別人簽下他們。"


With such a mass influx of talent, some of the managers who are not being
linked with Chelsea are said to be rather worried, if not insulted. Whilst
Arsene Wenger and Alex Ferguson made it very clear that nothing in the world
could prise them away from their respective clubs, Tubby Benitez at Liverpool
is said to wonder what he has done wrong not to be offered any kind of role at
the new-look, top heavy Chelsea, particularly as Jose Mourinho has now left.
Tubby never tried to hide that Jose irritated him intensely, possibly because
everybody decided that there was room only for one Iberian tactical genius in
the Premiership, and most people plumped for the more charismatic and handsome
one.

這麼多的天才湧入，我沒有惡意，那些沒有被切爾西看中的教練們開始不安起來。溫格和
弗格森明確表示，他們不會因為錢而拋棄各自的俱樂部，而在利物浦的貝尼特斯卻很奇怪
究竟自己那里不好，使得新的重型切爾西沒有提供他一個職位，特別是在穆里尼奧離開之
後。特比從沒掩飾他對何塞的極度惱怒，可能是因為所有人都覺得在英超聯賽中只能有一
個伊比利亞戰術天才，而大多數人會選更具魅力，更帥的那一個。


But with Jose having fallen foul of Roman once too often and now out of
Stamford Bridge, Tubby is distressed at not having received a call from Peter
Kenyon particularly as the Liverpool faithful are becoming increasingly
disillusioned with Tubby at Anfield. Our secret source, however, revealed that
"Roman can`t take that stupid jazz facial foliage seriously. Besides he`s
hardly set the Premiership alight."

但是何塞與阿布鬧翻過很多次，現在也已經走人了，而肯楊卻始終沒有打過電話給他，這
一點讓貝尼特斯很傷心，而且正值利物浦球對他信心漸漸幻滅。不過，我們的秘密眼線開
了謎底：" 阿布受不了他愚蠢的面部表情和爵士風格的打扮。除此之外，他很難讓英超精
彩起來。"


"There could be a role for Tubby as Michael Ballack`s assistant coach.
Ballack`s first coach will be Gary McAllister, who needs to help Ballack not
only become an English all-terrain midfielder but also improve Ballack`s
standing with the public".

"可能會有個位置留給貝尼特斯 ─ 當巴拉克的助理教練。巴拉克的首席教練將是克阿里
斯特，不僅將幫助巴拉克成為英式全能中場，還將提高巴拉克的公眾地位。"


"Tubby could be tasked with a special mission to spur Ballack to run around
looking busy like Ickle Stevie, but that`s about it."

"而貝尼特斯會有一個特殊任務，就是指導巴拉克學學顧人怨傑拉德那樣到飛奔，裝出
很忙的樣子，如此而已。"

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