[請益] 可以幫我看一下有沒有文法錯的地方= =?

[weki57 (麥小伊)]

Still have a dream,but never realized.
Still love a person,but never happy.
Still have a broken soul,and still lonely.

不好意思因為少用英文
想問一下這樣寫的話有沒有文法錯或是不通順的地方@@?感謝

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如果我是那雨滴的話…
那麼，我能夠像把不曾交會的天空與大地連接起來那樣…
把某人的心串聯起來嗎？

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◆ From: 61.20.137.82
推 noruas:連接詞but,and後面要加主詞she
→ noruas:另外,動詞也不見了..(but she is never happy)
→ noruas:(and she is still lonely.)
→ noruas:我把Still看成she..抱歉 Orz
→ noruas:(I) Still have a dream but never realize it.
→ noruas:(I) Still love a person but never feel happy.
→ noruas:(I) Still have a broken soul and still feel lonely.
推 Verloc:最後一句怪怪的...什麼叫broken soul and still lonely??
→ Verloc:而且好像沒有broken soul這種講法...troubled soul比較好?
推 noruas:通常是用broken heart~ 但原波想用broken soul也可以
→ noruas:但是troubled不太好..因為有"精神狀態不正常"的意思
→ noruas:比如: troubled mind