推 monkey0524:非常感謝這位大大 揪出了我很多問題 07/20 00:15
※ 引述《monkey0524 ()》之銘言：
: Hello,my name is XXX. I’m glad to introduce myself to you. I graduated
: from XXXXXXX University last year and I just discharge from army as a second
was just honorably discharged from
the army...
: lieutenant. I’m a platoon leader in army and I had learned a lot of things
I was a platoon leader and learned many things from the army.
: from army. I’m a easy-going and optimistic person. My interest is baseball ,
an My interests are...
: table tennis and dog. I am also a member of baseball team in university. I
and I alos love dogs. I was a member of my University's
baseball team.
: have many experience of part-time job because I have to pay living expense by
I have had many part-time jobs in order to support myself [and I think this
shows my independance].
: myself. My Japanese language is certificated and I plan to get certification
I have a XXX certificate in Japanese, and I plan to become certified
: of English because I’m interesting in English. Except for language, I also
in English too, because I'm interested in it as well. Aside from languages,
I am also knowledgeable in computer hardware. My friends always ask me for
: know about computer hardware. When my friend got some problem, they always
: ask me for help and I always pleased to help them. I hope I can find a job
help when they have computer issues, and I am always pleased to help them.
: that suited to me and get some work
I hope I can find a suitable job, [and put my skills and passion to work
for your company]
: Thanks for your listening.
Thank you for listening [Thank you for your time].
: 這是面試要用的英文自介
: 因為英文說跟寫的程度比較不好
: 覺得整篇下來I 很多 不知道有沒有辦法讓I少一點
I 很多其實還好，你可以寫的再長一點，把你的經驗跟人家要的能力連在一起
還有你當阿排學到了甚麼? 光講"學到很多"是不夠的
講領導統御、待人處事、執行任務
: 麻煩各位專家幫我修改一下了順便挑出問題點
: 謝謝
--
Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to
say something. -Plato (427BC-347BC)
Plato is boring. -Frederich Nietzsche (1844-1900)
Nietzsche was stupid and abnormal. -Leo Tolstoy (1828-1910)
--
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