Re: [請益] 我寫了英文感謝函給雇主 請幫我看一下갠…

[hoch (Sanctuary)]

Dear Manager Obama

: Nice to have this great chance to see you again on Friday,
: I think it is still
: in exciting mood to work with you in the following days.


 -  on Friday 後面用句點
 -  It was nice to meet you again last Friday. I enjoy our conversation
    very much.
 -  I am really excited about having the opportunity to work with you
    in ABC Corp.


: I look for a good copmany located in sourther Taiwan even close my house ,
: it is also my dream if I want to live my country and work around here

 - 不明白這句用現在式是有特殊意義？ 老實說，沒有上下文，不是很懂你要講
   什麼。
 - Initially I was looking for jobs in southern part of Taiwan, which is
   closer to my home town. Comparing with working overseas, I also
   prefer staying in Taiwan.

: A little suprise for me there is a such international company found here
: for 20 years history and hide behind police station ,

 - Again, 這句話用義在哪裡？
 - I found that, while being a multi-national corporation,
   ABC Corp. has established its office in Taiwan for 20 years. To
   my surprise, its office is located in a low-profile
   district behind a police station.


: Thank you for your positive approval,

 - 句子結束請用句點。
 - 另外你想說的是 "正面肯定"？
 - Your kind offer is really appreciated. To me it is an important
   recognition of my skills and experiences.

: I will pay my efforts and keep in good condition to learn from you to
: understand xxx business field.

 - "pay my effort"？看不太懂。
 - Although my background is not directly related to the field,
   I'll try my best to settle myself upon reporting to ABC Corp.

: I will discuss with my current company to make everything clear for my
: present position and confirm what time I will be on board ,
: I will  inform and have a discussion with you by next week.
: Thanks again for your approval .

 - I will let you know the exact date that
   I can report to ABC Corp once I submit my resignation to
   my current company next week.

   Thank you again for giving me the opportunity.

   Best regards,
--
→ babbitt1007:我想原po說的pay my efforts應該是要說
→ babbitt1007:會盡他的努力吧？亂猜XXDD
→ babbitt1007:我建議信件的抬頭也改一下，只有dear不是很恰當呢
推 babbitt1007:for giving me the opportunity？
→ babbitt1007:所有格跟the不能連用。還是我記錯了？
→ usread:誠心建議寄一封中文信即可.原件「不佳」會反效果,代改文太
→ usread:佳會錯誤引導成造期待落差反而不美.現在開始加強不遲,加油!
※ 編輯: hoch            來自: 111.248.7.32         (08/01 22:53)