[請益] 一封推薦函，拜託高手替我修改

[mediant (大理石噴水池)]

這是一封推薦函，拜託板上的高手替我看看，
有沒有文法怪怪的地方，非常謝謝大家！
______

To whom it may concern:

I am writing this letter with great pleasure to recommend Miss XXX XX
to your Master of Music program for the 20XX Fall Semester.

I have taught Miss XXX XX for more than two years. Miss XX, in my
professional opinion as her teacher, is a gifted student with great
potential. In the past two years, I found that she made huge progress
in a short time. She has natural musical instinct and great innate
feeling, and also equipped with playing facility and good techniques.
Besides, she always showed her passion for music and active motivation
to be outstanding.

I am convinced that XXX is a qualified candidate for admission to your
respect program and deserves your favorable consideration - I strongly
believe that with her talent and strong desire to learn, XXX will
make much more progress in the study of graduate level. Therefore,
I am willing to offer my most enthusiastic recommendation.


Sincerely yours,

XXXX XXXX
MM of XXXXX School of Music
Cellist, XXXXXX Orchestra

※ 編輯: mediant         來自: 61.216.1.230         (11/26 12:18)
→ hoch:看起來 pretty ok。也許 "she always shows her passion..."
→ hoch:現在式比較好。不過，我個人認為，這篇推薦信很像是例行性
→ hoch:或是從範本裡改寫過來的。參考價值略低。
→ hoch:也就是沒有利用實際發生的事件，來寫出該學生到底出色在哪裡
→ hoch:例如：該生在我的指導之下，獲得全國音樂比賽第一名.....
→ tengharold:pretty ok 但空泛 +1
→ tengharold:she has made huge strides
→ tengharold:she has a natural musical instinct
→ tengharold:feeling, while
→ tengharold:and an active motivation
→ tengharold:your respected program
→ tengharold:in the study of music at the graduate level
→ tengharold:都是小錯，不改反而讓人覺得更像英文非母語的老師寫的
→ rubric:不夠力再加一，文法程度夠了
→ mediant:非常謝謝樓上的各位，謝謝！