Re: [文法] 真的很爛的文法需要指正謝謝

[whiper ( )]

上色字是試改
有錯之處還請強者糾正:)

※ 引述《Freakbear (北兒)》之銘言：
: 小弟現在在上某地方的英文寫作課
: 老師給了我們三個短句叫我們練習  sentence building
: 因為我文法超爛，也沒有甚麼構句的概念
: 之前準備多益也只有練習聽跟讀（七百出頭），用說跟寫就會卡住了，很卡。
: 而且感覺文法超錯誤連篇
: 三個短句我花了一個半小時寫了又刪刪了又改，越加越長感覺變成小短文了
: 在這鼓起勇氣po給各位老師看，希望能給我意見教我如何改進，謝謝
: 1. The man is an employee.
: 我：The young man who wears a stereotypical glasses and colorful tie,
: called Ryan,is an employee who join this company recently,full of
: enthusiasm,wants to do a great thing to earn approval and compliment from
: his colleagues and boss.

The young man who wears a pair of stereotypical glasses and a colorful tie
is Ryan. He is a new employee of this company. He is enthusiastic, and wants
to do something great to gain approval and compliments from his colleagues
and boss.

: 2.The managers are having a meeting.
: 我：The managers comes from different departments,such as Human Resourses
: Department,Adiministration Department,Marketing Department,etc,are having
: a extremely important annual meeting in the conference room at 6 floor.

The managers come from different departments such as Human Resourses
Department,Adiministration Department,Marketing Department,etc. They are
having an extremely important annual meeting in the conference room at 6
floor.

: 3.Apple is a company.
: 我：Apple is a full of fashion and creativity company,which manufactured
: lots of fun,functional and efficient products.Such as Macbook,i Pod Touch,
: i Phone,etc.Some people even tattoo the "Apple logo"on their body.Apple
: always make waves impact the world when they release new products.

Apple is a fashion and creative company. It manufactures a lot of interesting,
functional, and efficient products. Such as Macbook, i Pod Touch, and i Phone.
Some people even tattoo the "Apple logo"on their body. When Apple releases new
products, it brings impacts to the world at the same time.

: 我知道亂七八糟，從今以後我會好好學習文法的，謝謝各位老師的指教 >.<"

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推 Freakbear:謝謝老師@@ 真的要努力加強了我。原來拐個彎換個方式
→ Freakbear:思考就有這麼美麗的結果，我要搞懂時態用法...
推 tengharold:推認真且耐心修改
→ tengharold:小誤: ON the 6th floor, a fashionable and creative
→ tengharold:company, THE MacBook..., tattooed, their bodies,
→ tengharold:it impacts the [whole] world...
推 esl0:PUSH