[求譯] 看不懂的英文笑話~orz

[nantonaku (祖藍哥哥~)]

1

DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage,
and family values.
Bill said, “I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?”
Larry replied, “I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?”

查過字典 maiden name是類似中文閨名的意思，就是出嫁前的名字
出嫁後大部份都從夫姓
但我還是不懂，為什麼Larry要這麼問呢？


***
2

“Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,”
the divorce court judge said, “and I've decided to give your wife $775
a week.”
“That's very fair, Your Honor,” the husband said.
“And every now and then, I'll try to send her a few bucks myself.”

本來不就是要寄錢給她嗎？ 最後一句笑點為何呢？

***
3
An old woman goes to the wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse she has been living with for the last 40 years.
The wizard says, “Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.”
The old woman says without hesitation, “I now pronounce you man and wife.”

本來是husband and wife 變這樣好笑在哪呢？

***
4
Two reasons why it's so hard to solve a redneck murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.

redneck好像是指農夫 但完全不懂好笑在哪？

***

5
A man is recovering from surgery when the surgical nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
“I'm O.K. But I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,” he answered.
“What did he say?” asks the nurse.
“Oops!”
真的不懂~  orz

感謝版友不吝指點~

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◆ From: 111.240.231.37
→ alixia:Bill跟他老婆沒有發生婚前性行為, 問Larry呢? (是問Larry
推 LawrenceS:Ooops就像醫生手滑，做錯了甚麼之類的，所以好笑 XDDD
→ alixia:跟Larry老婆有沒有. 但Larry故意把他的問題當作 "那你在我
→ alixia:婚前有跟我老婆睡過嗎?" 所以他答"不確定,她本名是啥?"
感謝感謝，這樣1、5懂了~
→ LawrenceS:Redneck做美國鄉巴佬解，好笑在他們都長得一樣，然後都
→ LawrenceS:不看牙醫 XDD
感謝感謝，可是請問為什麼不看牙醫，會造成無法破美國鄉巴佬謀殺案呢？

→ alixia:Clark故意把法官的說法曲解為法官每周會給他前妻$775
感謝感謝，這樣2懂了
→ alixia:第三個你翻成中文還是不懂的話, 那就是... either you get
→ alixia:it or you don't. 跟英文已經沒有關係了
→ alixia:通常four letter words是指髒話, 像fuck, shit, and etc
→ alixia:好笑之處是在於他第一句先造成聽者錯誤的期待,然後轉折
→ alixia:同樣, 我覺得這是幽默感的問題不一定是英文的問題
→ dunchee:3. 把"婚姻"(丈夫/老婆)本身當成是curse 這在美國(文化)很
→ dunchee:常聽到的笑點(我們也有類似的，比如把婚姻比喻成墳墓)
感謝感謝，請問是不是說，i now pronounce you man and wife是證婚台詞
所以這整句話就是一個curse？

我是想說，為什麼證婚台詞不說 husband and wife呢？

→ dunchee:4. 取笑redneck的眾多笑點裡頭一個是他們之間會incest，因
→ dunchee:此DNA都會是match(這是故意在incest這上頭取笑)
→ dunchee:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redneck
→ dunchee:(或是近親之間通婚. The Simpsons卡通裏面這邊(些)人物，
→ dunchee:也常拿和他們相關的東西當笑點
感謝感謝，這樣4懂了，還真不知道他們會incest
不過還是不懂跟看牙醫有什麼關係~  orz

現在這樣只剩4-2不懂了，而且他們為什麼要近親通婚呢？ 是在說他們沒知識嗎？

3想問說，為什麼證婚台詞不說husband and wife呢？
※ 編輯: nantonaku       來自: 111.240.206.59       (03/29 13:49)
推 heziying:I now pronounce you man&wife是公證人給新郎新娘說的話
→ heziying:對呀 rednecks就是指無知的土包子 很傳統保守 然後提牙醫
→ heziying:是因為他們住在非常土的地方,沒甚麼醫生,更別說牙醫
→ heziying:rednecks的牙齒很亂 -_-
推 rodison:我喜歡第3個笑話 看來婚姻真的是個大魔咒
太感謝大家了~這樣終於有弄懂了～　^_^
※ 編輯: nantonaku       來自: 111.240.206.59       (03/29 22:04)
推 sellgd:這個你會正確譯成中文，應該就會懂了。
→ Bigfatty73:亂講....   3是在講沒說出來的一句
→ Bigfatty73:                 until death do you part
推 Bigfatty73:http://tinyurl.com/46pjtho  牙齒的
→ alixia:其實不一定, 每個人對於笑點的認知不同, 對很多人來說笑點
→ alixia:就是那句, 並不用聯想到til death...
→ alixia:(而且, til death do you part其實是在宣告"之前"的誓詞)