→ wifemonkey:謝謝T大的指導 大家都好熱心幫我 ^+^ 我會再多加注意 06/25 09:36
→ wifemonkey:文章的流暢度 哈哈 06/25 09:37
※ 引述《wifemonkey (猴子婆)》之銘言：
我改的跟其他版大改的可能不一樣，請自己斟酌使用 XD
: Dear Ms. Lee,
: Your advertisement in 104 for an account sales specialist prompted me to
on 104.com
: apply for this position.
台灣英語這樣就夠了。
美式英語的話。。。
主詞 advertisement 為物件，不會 prompt(ed) me，就像鞋子不會走路一樣。
請重寫
: After I graduated from National Chung Hsing University with a Bechelor of
Bachelor
: Chemistry three years ago. I'd worked at family's company as an accounting
, I worked at a family member's company as
: assistant for one year. And then, I'd worked at Merck Ltd.．Taiwan as a
, then I worked at Merck (Taiwan) Ltd. as a...
: customer care specialist. In addiion, I'm a proactive person, who is ready to
到這裡結束這一段
addiTion
In addition 開新段
: learn anything will be needed.
needed.
第一段為求學/工作歷史，好歹也花了你7年，這樣一(長)句話打發？Cover letter 的
用途是激起人事官看你履歷表的慾望，這樣寫。。。
第二段為個人特色：
1) In addition to what?
2) 個人特色只有主動好學，全台灣哪位求職人不主動好學？
連陽春麵老闆都會灑點蔥花，請加料。
: I don't feel that I should set my own salary, as I am pleased enough to have
: the privilege of working for you. However, I would consider a month
: satisfactory compensation for my apprenticeship.
這段英文寫得很好，但是古人折腰至少都換到五斗米，原po今天確定要為一個月的薪水
遷就不知多長的學徒期？因為原po這裡是說「我學徒期(試用期?)你只要付我一個月的
薪水就好了」
: May I have the opportunity to discuss this matter further with you? I have
: enclosed my resume for more details about my background. Thank you very much.
: Sincerely,
這裡也沒什好改的。
先醬~
--
'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life
Trying to make ends meet, You're a slave to money then you die
-Bittersweet Symphony, The Verve
--
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◆ From: 70.166.3.190
※ 編輯: tengharold 來自: 70.166.3.190 (06/22 01:02)