[求譯] 笑話翻譯

[cornflower (矢車)]

就可板#1HgjtkDI的50則英文短笑話，1~20有人翻了（#1Hgn-C2F），以下繼續翻剩下的，
空著不會的或是翻錯的/雙關讀錯的希望板友指教。

21.   A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says ''I'll serve you, but
don't start anything''
一條跨接線走進一家酒吧，酒保說：「我可以服務你，但是你不要給我亂來/亂接。」
（start：引起事故、打開某個開關？）

22.  Slept like a log last night........ Woke up in the fireplace.
昨晚睡得很沉像個木頭……然後在壁爐中醒來。

23.  A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ''Is
this some kind of joke?''
一個神父、猶太教的學者，和副主教走入一家酒吧。酒保說：「這是在耍我嗎？」
（三人皆不喝酒）

24.  A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ''Sorry we don't serve food
in here''
一個三明治走入酒吧，酒保說：「對不起我們這邊不供應（服務）食物。」
（serve：服務/供應）

25.  The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I
said ''Did you get my drift?''.
某天我送給我的女朋友一堆雪，我打電話給她，問：「你有收到我送的浮冰嗎？」
（不太確定這裡的雙關是…？）

26.   I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the
cobwebs out of her hair.
某天我和（我用）我老婆打掃閣樓，現在我沒辦法把蜘蛛網清出她的頭髮。
（with：與/用）

27.  Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.
去了一家紙商店——它被吹跑了。
（papar shop：賣紙的商店/紙作的商店）

28.  A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,
the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. ''But why?''
they asked, as they moved off. ''because,'' he said ''I can't stand chess
nuts boasting in an open foyer.''
一團西洋棋迷到飯店辦入住，並且在大廳聊他們近來的輝煌戰績。過了差不多一小時，
經理從辦公室走出來並且要求他們離開。當他們離開的時候，他們忍不住問：「為什麼
啊？」經理回答：「因為我受不了一群棋迷（栗子）在門廳自吹自擂。」
（chess nut棋迷與chestnut栗子音近）

29.   I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I
said, ''Are you two an item?''
我正在超市然後看到這個男人和女人正在包裝條碼，我問：「你們兩個是一起賣的嗎？」
（wrapped in a barcode：包裝條碼？/包裝在一起用同一個條碼）

30.   I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition
and I won a years supply of Marmite......... one jar.
今晚我心情超好的，因為某天我去比賽然後我得到的獎品是一年的Marmite…
一罐子而已。
（Marmite味道古怪，還好一年份只有一罐子）

31.  So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a
red rose and says ''Your eyes sparkle like diamonds''. I said, ''Waiter, I
asked for a-ROMATIC duck''.
我去一家中國餐廳吃飯，然後這隻鴨子帶著一朵玫瑰來找我，說道：「你的雙眼閃爍如
同星辰。」我說：「服務生，我需要的是一隻香烤鴨子。」
（aromatic：香的。romantic：浪漫的）

32.  Four fonts walk into a bar the barman says ''Oi - get out! We don't want
your type in here''
四個文字格式走到一家酒吧，酒保說：「滾出去！我們不要你們這類的來這裡（不要你
們在這邊輸入字型）。」
（type：類型/打字）

33.  I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there
was a check tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
我正在和世界棋王Garry Kasporov共進晚餐，而桌巾是格子花紋的。他花了兩小時才把
鹽巴遞給我。
（check tablecloth：格子花樣/棋盤狀的桌巾）

34.  There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten
different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
有個男人參加了當地報紙的雙關語競賽…他寄出了十個不同的雙關語，希望至少有一個會
贏，不幸的是，十個雙關語中沒有一個雙關語凱旋歸來。
（sent in: 寄出/派出。win：贏得獎項/獲勝？）

35.  I went down the local supermarket, I said, ''I want to make a complaint,
this vinegar's got lumps in it'', he said, "Those are pickled onions''.
我進入一家當地超市，我說：「我要客訴，這瓶醋裡面有異物。」對方回答：「那些是
醃洋蔥。」
（不確定這邊是否有雙關…）

36.  I backed a horse last week at ten to one.  It came in at quarter past
four.

37.   I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet
it said ''may contain nuts.'' Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers
for! You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!''
某天我買了一包花生，我發誓在包裝上他寫「可能含有花生種子」。好吧，沒錯！這就
是為什麼我要買這包的原因！你如果打開是看到花生殼掉出來你也會生氣！
（可能含有花生種子：本來買就是為了要吃花生的種子）

38.   A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, What a
turtle disaster
一群海龜撞上一群烏龜，真是一場龜難。
（turtle disaster音近total disaster）

39.  My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and
go, ''Who's that calling at this time?' ''I don't know! If I knew that we
wouldn't need the bloody phone!''
我的電話在凌晨兩點響起來，我老婆看著我問：「是誰會這時候打來？」
「我怎知！如果我知道的話我就不用電話了！」
（要接電話才知道是誰）

40.  I said to this train driver ''I want to go to Paris". He said
''Eurostar?'' I said, ''I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin''.

41.   Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in
the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak
and heat it.
兩個愛斯基摩人坐在冰屋裡，冷到不行。不過當他們在裡面生火時，它卻坍塌了，證明
了你不能加熱你的冰屋。
（不確定這裡是否有雙關？）

42.  I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags, he's
bisatchel.
我有個朋友愛上了兩個書包，他是雙包戀。
（bisatchel音近bi-sexual）

43.  You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic
converter.
(exhaust pipe排氣管，不太確定pipe是否意指pope，
 catholic converter除了意指轉信天主教的人，也是一種汽車的排氣管？)

44.  A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to
the bar and announces: ''I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.''
一隻三腳鴨走進一家西部酒館。他滑入酒吧內並且宣稱：「我在找那個射殺我的蹼的人」
（paw蹼 音近pal夥伴）

45.   I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
我嘗試著打水球（在水中打馬球），但是我的馬淹死了。
（water polo：水球，polo：馬球）

46.   I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack
myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.
我告訴你我有多喜歡作一件事：試著只打包一件小件行李（把我自己裝入小型行李箱）。
我幾乎沒辦法把我自己塞進去。

47.   So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was
Wedgie Kray.

48.   Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.
去了一家角落商店——買了四個角落。
（corner shop：在轉角的商店/賣轉角的商店）

49.  A seal walks into a club...

50.   I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth,
it's great for flu'. So I went  -  and I got it.
某天我去看醫生，他說：「你可以去伯恩茅斯，對感冒有益。」
所以我去了—然後感冒了。
（great for flu：對感冒有療效/對感冒很好）


--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
推 sber:有些蠻英國的。#29重點是在"an item" 講兩個人是an item是
→ sber:在說他們是情侶。#34重點是"no pun in ten did". 因為平常講
→ sber:"no pun intended" #36在說他以10:1下注了一匹馬，但10:1又是
→ sber:(ten to 1) 12:50(時間)的意思。#41不是在屋子 是在舟上
推 sber:愛斯基摩人的冰屋叫igloo。#46的重點在I can hardly contain
→ sber:myself.平常這麼說是在講我要控制不住我自己了
推 iamx:#47 在學校有種從後面抓住別人內褲頭往上拉的惡作劇方法叫做
→ iamx:give someone a wedgie.
→ sber:#21 "jump start"
→ sber:#25 "snowdrift" #30 marmite就是很英國的食物...
→ sber:#40另外一個證明這些是英國東西的例子 Eurostar是倫敦通巴黎
→ sber:的火車，他以為他在問他是不是歐洲明星，所以他說 我曾上過
→ sber:電視，但並不有名。telly也是英國講法
→ cornflower:感謝以上指正 看到bloody phone也覺得這是英國的才對XD
※ 編輯: cornflower      來自: 123.240.158.148      (06/04 14:24)
→ sber:#43 觸媒轉換器 catalytic converter
推 roastbacon:#49是什麼意思?  #31 XDD
→ ely6231:club:俱樂部/木棒 雙關海豹走進夜店or被木棒敲死
→ ely6231:人們為了海豹皮屠殺大量海獅...
→ ely6231:#36 可以從back the wrong horse下去想~
→ ely6231:英國的賽馬場次用時間命名 the 1:50之類的
→ ely6231:#46 hardly contain myself 雙關裝不下/無法表達感受
→ ely6231:#35 pickled onions -> onions pickled in vinegar
→ ely6231:#31 讓我想到friends有一集joey誤會omnipotent的意思 XD
→ dunchee:23. 參考: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meta-joke
→ dunchee:很多笑話的開頭是把三個背景截然不同的人湊在一起，所以那
→ dunchee:個barman那樣子說。這笑話的三個宗教/支派leaders不禁酒，
→ dunchee:所以笑點不在這。如果把Vicar改成Imam，那麼就是基督教，
→ dunchee:猶太教，伊斯蘭教的leaders
→ dunchee:25. http://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/send -> 3 ..
→ dunchee:http://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/drift_2 -> 1 ..
→ dunchee:21. "jump leads"(英)/"jumper cables"(美) 是用來 jump
→ dunchee:start a car / star a car
→ dunchee:http://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/start_1  -> 6
→ dunchee:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jump_start_%28vehicle%29
→ dunchee:然後"star"也有其它意思
→ dunchee:http://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/start_1  -> 1
→ dunchee:25. http://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/drift_2 ->4
→ dunchee:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMZwB02em9E
→ dunchee:37. "May contain nuts"是一般食品包裝上的警語，是給對
→ dunchee:nuts過敏的人的警示:
→ dunchee:http://www.learnersdictionary.com/search/nut
→ dunchee:-> 1 b 第2例句   "nut"也是 --> 2 ...
→ dunchee:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nut_%28hardware%29
→ dunchee:(所以才說a socket set。都已經是花生了你還說"may
→ dunchee:contain nuts"。不是你賣的(吃的)nuts，難道是這個工具類
→ dunchee:的"nuts"?(Wikipedia這個))  對廠商來說是有點白痴的警語(
→ dunchee:但是廠商為了怕被罰，所以還是要寫。這類古怪的"白痴
→ dunchee:labels"很多
→ dunchee:http://ppt.cc/JZaj
→ cornflower:感謝以上板友補完 就不一個個修改了(掩面)
→ sneak: #43 觸媒轉換器 c https://daxiv.com
→ sneak: #40另外一個證明這些 https://daxiv.com
→ muxiv: -> 1 b 第2例句 https://moxox.com