[請益] 文法問題

[lologhost (囉囉鬼)]

我試著寫了一篇英詩.....
想請問下列句子中是否有文法上的錯誤？
或是哪些字可以改成什麼單字使用會更漂亮？

I try to do something in vain
and pay much nothing feedback.
But,
I still miss you at the twenty-fifth hour.

You still denied that is a truth
despite I affirmed that is a falseness.

So that,
there is only one thing need to do,
always planning to date with you
on the eighth night of a week.


另外就是，下列句子的文法是否正確？

I need more good looking colleagues in our team are exactly straight guy.


我會疑惑

I need (more good looking colleagues in our team)
【are】 exactly straight guy.


【】中使用are是正確的嗎？或是用were？




再請高手們協助解惑了 感謝^^

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