[Joke] Hell explained by a chemistry student

[firstknt (paul)]

This might be old, but always worth a chuckle.

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.


Bonus Question:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, which
is gas cools when it expands and heats up when it is compressed, or some
variant.

One student, however, wrote the following.

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions
that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are
not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than
one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates
as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionally as souls are added. This
gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my freshman year that,
"It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account
the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and
thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows
that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct, leaving
only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting, "Oh my God!"

This student received the only "A."

--
Do you know what the chain of command is here?
It's the chain I go get and beat you with to show you who's in command.

--
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◆ From: 210.69.49.253
※ 編輯: firstknt        來自: 210.69.49.253        (10/17 15:50)
※ 編輯: firstknt        來自: 210.69.49.253        (10/17 15:50)
推 lifegetter:i'll believe that all hell breaks loose when the
→ lifegetter:hell freezes over... :p
推 Excelate:This has been around for quite a while already
→ Excelate:but I saw the translated version, which did not
→ Excelate:contain the last two paragraghs XDDDDD
推 windycat:This one is EXCELENT!! xD    (ROFL!
推 wnwangster:it's a pity that the Nobel Foundation hasn't list
→ wnwangster:this dude as a laureate.. haha
推 perplexity:I got a question:who is Teresa? = =?
→ Excelate:some chick who did not want to get laid with this
→ Excelate:guy but eventually did.
推 lifegetter:ha! she first said: i'll do you when the hell
→ lifegetter:freezes over...then all hell broke loose...