Re: [Mind] Shit

[zofloya (insanity)]

The most painful thing in the world is to know that the quality or principal

you value most doesn't exist in your relatives, especially your mom and dad,

while that you dislike or even despise most in them. Sure, they care about us.

No doubt, they do everything for our own good, at least that's what they think,

in spite of any inconveience or consequences which would be brought on your

life. When we were young, their protective gestures and behavior played an

important role for our survival. They were responsible for what we did as

youngsters. Therefore, it's undebatable that they considered us a part of

their properties and we were compliant to their arrangments in our life then.

However, the older we get, the more I learn, the more we realize that we are

an independent individual able to and willing to take full responsibility for

ourselves, and that what they have instilled in us conflicts with our

viewpoint or belief. We start to question their words and to assert our

stance which is unpleasant to them just because it's different from theirs,

not because it's a worse choice.  As a result, we start to think about

escaping. We start to feel that life without them around could be enjoyable.

We do what we do at that time for escape's sake. For example, we would choose

a college far away from hometown. We become reluctant to join their social

gatherings. Nevertheless,

The harder we try to detach from thier thought that

we are part of their properties, the worse parent-child relatioship becomes.

We are not ungrateful. We just have our own part of life to live, and that

part of life we want to be totally in charge of. So,

what is the solution?  Well, people say, "communication, communication and

communication." But how could you communicate with the embeded mindset that

we are owned by them and we are always their "children" incapable of growing

up and independent?  As long as they can't let go of their tendency to

controlling our life, there is no successful or satisfactory communication

whatsoever to be achieved. I don't about other species, but as far as humanity

is concerned, relationship between paretns and their children is the

strangest and confusing one ever.

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推 chenzhishun1:^^ so i guess it is a part of a process...
→ chenzhishun1:part of growing up ...
→ zofloya:the parents' growing up or the children's?
→ chenzhishun1:children's,but it may as well be that of parents
→ chenzhishun1:don't we all grow? ^^
→ zofloya:we do all grow, but some just grow old, not wiser
→ chenzhishun1:yeah sometimes i wish time would stop ...
→ chenzhishun1:you know... a little time out like intermission
→ chenzhishun1:to chatch breath a little ^^
推 celestial09:Brilliant! :D Smart! And a excellent essay :)
推 Tabrith:well written! dealing with parents is confusing indeed
→ honercek:You do point out the complicated relationship between
→ honercek:children and parents..