[Mind] How do you deal with this?

[queenlv (queen)]

I'm currently in a relationship with a wonderful guy that I love.
Even though he doesn't go to the best university
in Taiwan but I still love him. He's what I look for in a guy.
He's responsible, has a sense of humor, polite, mature, respects me
and much, much more.

I don't normally tell my parents when I'm in a relationship because they never
seem to really care about what I think. Lately, my mother has been saying
the most bizzare things and I can't stand it anymore. This is why I'm here
posting this.

A few students from NTU visited my city and mom was their tour guide.
After her first day encountering with them, she kept telling me how
wonderful they were. They were so polite, smart, and you know...
all the positive good stuff. After all, what bad stuff can you say about people
that you barely know? What was worse was that she literally tried hooking me up
with some NTU kid. All I was thinking the whole time was "What the hell?
This is out of nowhere." I think my mother should know better.

I couldn't stand her repeately telling me who to and not to date.
Soon after, she found out that I have a boyfriend and she was pretty upset.
She's seen him once but she doesn't quite remember what he looks like.
Again, she doesn't seem to care about my friends or what I tell her,
that's why she doesn't remember. The things I tell her about my friends
or whatever that's happening in my life,she will not remember.
She can't even match up my closest friends names with their faces.
Pretty upsetting if you ask me. I know this is mean to say about my own
mother but she is sort of shallow. I don't communicate with her well
because she's short-tempered and stubborn. I'm usually quite when I'm
around her, I let her speak and tell me whatever she wants.  I love her deeply
and what she tells me do really affect me.

I have my lovable boyfriend on one hand, and a mother who wants the best
for me on the other.  What she thinks is best for me might not be the best.
How would she know that NTU guy is the right guy for me? What if he's just
some ramdon abusive guy who plays around all day? Seriously! Who knows?
Why the hell would I want to be friends with someone just because he
studies at NTU?

I really want my mother to get to know my boyfriend better before juding him.
Boyfriend thinks it's not the right time yet because we're currently in a
long distance relationship and he'll be serving the army this June.  He thinks
it's best to meet the parents after the army.  How do I communicate with a
mother that only wants what she thinks is best for me? How do I communicate
with someone who doesn't really listen to what others say?

I want help :(




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※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 111.255.90.253
推 tuna7639:Maybe you just have to bring your boyfriend to your
→ tuna7639:mom, anyway, I believe there is no best way, because
→ tuna7639:you can not control others behavior. Good luck!
We've decided to meet the parents after his military service.
I guess I just envy mothers that could talk to their daughters and support
what they want.  My girlfriends' moms are all very supportive of them
and I want this as well. It's okay, time will tell, like always.
推 IAMSOBAD:honestly, your mom does care, she just don't know how
→ IAMSOBAD:to get into your life...
→ IAMSOBAD:the thing about relationship is, it's never a
→ IAMSOBAD:one-sided game, and also, it's not a win-win game
→ IAMSOBAD:what you should do is to find a way that does best
→ IAMSOBAD:for both your mom and your bf, wish you the best :)
I know she cares, and, of course, she does! I just don't think she's loving me
the right way but who am I to say this, am I loving her the way she wants?
Guess not. Thanks, you guys.  I was very upset last night but I'm okay now.
→ huayuyu530:how old are you?? it seems u are not too old if      01/09 19:27
→ huayuyu530:your bf is doing military service this year
Yes, we're pretty young, still in uni.
推 pinxi:In fact, if you can't communicate well with your own
→ pinxi:mother, how can you expect she will be able to
→ pinxi:understand you? Though it is a great pity...
→ pinxi:It may not easy to let her acknowledge your thoughts;
→ pinxi:gradually, I believe your smiles and confidence, and all
→ pinxi:the positive perspectives you hold will manifest for you
→ pinxi:happiness and delightful life you are leading, as well
→ pinxi:as the genial and bright manners in which you are
→ pinxi:treating everything or everyone around you, which is a
→ pinxi:convincing evidence and testimony that it is one of the
→ pinxi:most magnificent spectaculars that surrounds you and
→ pinxi:enriches your mind.
→ pinxi:It may not "be" easy... (the fourth line)XD
Thank you.  She tells me things from her experience. I don't want to prove her
wrong(parents can be wrong as well, just not all the time, haha)
Sometimes it really does get annoying. I've had a rough time communicating
with her for 20 some years now. I only realised this as I grew older.
※ 編輯: queenlv         來自: 111.255.67.14        (01/10 02:24)
推 mapleflow:Maybe you can try to break the myth that your mom
→ mapleflow:has about make friends with ntu, try to let her
→ mapleflow:understand that the generation is changing, we must
→ mapleflow:move foward. Be patient=)
推 IAMSOBAD:ha, dont' worry, i'm even younger than you are LOL