[翻譯] 不好意思 這是我朋友的英文自傳 想請大家幫他看看

[marvelousbre ( )]

My name is XXX.  I majored in OOO at XX University.

Besides, I just got the degree of master of OOO at XX University.

When I was a college student, I always took great responsibility

in club and held many activities at school.

I learned how to communicate and cooperate with others in club,

so I paid much attention to interpersonal management and communication.

Therefore, I love to communicate with others, and I think that

I am suitable for the work of human resources.


I just graduated from XXX.  Thus I often tell myself to be humble and

try my best to learn anything.

I have good literal and oral expression ability,

and I always ask myself to progress everyday.

I love challenges and hope you can give me an opportunity

to be a member of your company.


請各位好心的大大用力挑錯吧  感恩呀




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推 stranck:錯我就不知道啦，我還不夠強... 不過有一句可以改一改：
→ stranck:and I think that I am suitable for the work of... 改成
→ stranck:and I believe that I am suitable for the work of...
推 marvelousbre:感謝
推 chenchuhao:I實在太多了Orz...斷句也太多了...看的很吃力...
→ chenchuhao:建議可以修得簡略一點...不要太多斷句...
→ chenchuhao:其實照翻成中文來看...也會覺得句子不是很連貫...
→ chenchuhao:以上是個人的感覺啦...我也沒什麼能力改...
推 zoya92:重複的字太多了 是不是可以用同義字替代呢
推 cctina:好口語喔....呵呵...最後一句是不是可以不用阿!?