[問題] 可以幫我看看這份NOTICE嗎

[ookk101 (aaa)]

最近想要找語言交換，決定到師大去貼單子!!
不過我的英文實在是不怎麼樣，
零零落落的拼了幾個句子，
想請版上的各位看看，需要修改的地方有哪些?!
感謝大家啦!!!!

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Look here!!!!
I have a wish......
Are you the one who can help me to make this wish come true?!

I want to improve my English ability,especially on conversation!
My English ability just like university students’average.
Please help me!!
I want to find a English native speaker,I can teach you Mandarin,too.

I am a girl , 24 years old.
If you were a girl , you can help me and you also want to learn Mandarin
Please tear note which under this notice and write a letter to me!!


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以上就是我想張貼的訊息內容
請各位指教了~
感激不盡阿!!!

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→ huii:.....如果寫得很完美，還要交換嗎？  就放心去貼吧
推 promistake:但是were a girl還是要改掉 不然會嚇到人吧我猜
推 Chiwaku:were... @@ 末段第二行第一子句的 were 改成 are 吧,原po!
→ b94501010:單就文法說,第五行少be-V "is"　第七行"an"English
→ b94501010:第七行 兩句子要用句號　或,and或分號連接
→ b94501010:第八行改I am a 24-year-old girl. 似乎較好
→ b94501010:最後一句,"a" note , which不需要
→ ookk101:謝謝大家的指教^^