Re: [討論] 心念竊取 其實我對它的評價要高一些些

[ddavid (謊言接線生)]

※ 引述《EEK (水紋上的雙子舞)》之銘言：
: ※ 引述《EEK (水紋上的雙子舞)》之銘言：
: :  這個故事是有寓意的, 它告訴我們wotc自己常常也不知道自己設計出了什麼東西.
:  好吧我記錯結局了... 以下附上原文
:  其實看完上面那些討論老實說我很猶豫要不要貼, 因為一些不一而足的原因...
:  但想想還是貼好了, 這種事情不應該跟一些討論板上面的風風雨雨扯上關係.
:  PS:文章有點長且全英文, 早年有人翻譯但已經遺失了
:     如果有興趣的人可以自己翻...
    練練翻譯，並且把裡面提到的牌都列出來了XD
: -
: Several months ago, somewhere near Seattle, WA
    幾個月以前，在近西雅圖的某處。
: It's 3 a.m. and you're still at work.  You know you should have gone home
: hours ago but deadlines are approaching.  The designs for the new set are
: due to the playtesters several days before the release, and you keep coming
: up with Green cards that make mono-Green tourney viable--so the head of the
: design team has rejected all of them.  You're at wits end, staring at a
: blank sheet of paper for a couple hours now.
    已經半夜三點了，而你還在工作。你知道你該回家了，偏偏期限快到了。這些為
了新系列的設計起因於公佈前幾天的測試，而你正在持續構思那些能讓純綠打得成的
綠色牌──設計小組的頭頭已經把它們全否決了。你面對一大張白紙幾個小時，已經
才枯思竭了。
: You sigh, frustrated, and get up to get a cup of coffee.  You get to the
: coffee room and pour yourself a cup, and in walks your boss, head of the
: design team.  What's he doing here this late?  You're cornered.  He speaks:
: "So, how's it going?  Come up with anything good for me?"
    你嘆口氣，很洩氣地起身去弄杯咖啡。你到了咖啡間幫自己倒好咖啡，然後你上
司，也就是設計小組的頭頭走來。他幹嘛在這待到這麼晚？你已經被逼上絕路了。他
說：「所以，你弄得怎樣了？幫我想出什麼好東西了嗎？」
: Oh no.  Another totally unproductive day, and now the pressure's on.  Your
: mind races.  There has to be a way out.  Nothing.  Your answer is taking
: too long, you can feel it.  You have to generate some kind of diversion.
: In desperation, you say the first thing that comes to mind:
    喔不。又是不事生產的一天，然後現在壓力來了。你的思考急速運轉。一定有出
路的吧。還是沒有。你可以感覺到花太多時間想回答了。你一定要搞些什麼來轉移注
意力。於是你不顧一切地把第一個想到的事情說出口：
: "I bet I can come up with a worse card than you."
    「我賭我能設計一張比你更爛的牌。」
: What?  Where'd that come from?
    啥？這是從哪蹦出來的？
: Your boss laughs.  "Oh, really?  Of course you know I designed both the
: Laces.  Oh, and Jump.  And Cooperation.  And snow-covered land.  And.."
    你上司大笑。「喔，真的嗎？你一定知道那些Laces都我設計的。喔，還有Jump
。還有Cooperation。還有雪地。還有......」

五色Laces
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=57
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=130
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=163
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=187
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=263

Jump
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=108

Cooperation
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=2678

五色雪地
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=2742
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=2749
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=2766
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=2770
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=2774
: You feel sweat on your palms as he drones on--there's nothing you can do,
: you've offered the challenge.  You feel your cushy job flash before your
: eyes.  "Yes, uhh, I can design a worse card than you."
    你感到手心冒汗的程度如同他嘮叨不停的程度──你已經沒救了，你下了戰書。
你輕鬆愉快的工作已經在你眼前一閃而逝。「是、呃、我能設計出比你還爛的牌。」
: Your boss laughs again.  "OK, you're on.  How's this:  If you win, we print
: the card in the next set--as a rare."
    你老大又大笑了。「行，你就去做吧。這樣如何：如果你贏了，我們就在下個系
列把那張牌印出來──而且是R卡。」
: This is too good!  A rare!  This isn't a stand-alone expansion, so there
: aren't that many rares in the set.  Think of what you could do to sealed
: deck players!  A rare, and still the last card passed around in a booster
: draft!  You're enticed.  "Sounds great," you hear yourself say, trying to
: contain your excitement.
    這太讚啦！R卡！這不是獨立環境（譯註：指每個環境組的第一個環境，如瑞斯
系列的暴風雨、克撒環境的克撒傳），所以這裡面不會有那麼多R卡。想想你能對那
些限制賽玩家幹些啥事！是張R卡，結果輪抽時它一直被傳下去沒人要！你被誘惑了
。「聽起來不錯啊。」你聽到自己正在用力忍住興奮地說。
: "I thought you might like that.  Now, what happens if you lose..."
    「我想你會喜歡的。現在，如果你輸了的話呢......」
: You cringe.  What's the worst, most thankless job in the company?  You
: can't imagine.
    你退縮了。這公司裡面最糟、最吃力不討好的工作是啥？你無法想像。
: "I know!" your boss booms.  "We'll give you Tom Wylie's job.  You'll have
: to try to make the rules both consistent and comprehensible, as well as
: keeping up with all the new rules introduced with new expansion."
    「我想到了！」你上司大叫。「我們會把Tom Wylie的工作丟給你。你得必須試
著把規則弄得既一致又好懂，而且還要趕上新環境的所有規則。」
: NOOOO!!!  The impossible job!  One small slip and thousands of Magic
: players all over the world will flood you with irate email about some
: obscure ruling you made about Time Vault, or some other card nobody
: actually plays.  The stakes, wow, the stakes are huge.  You MUST win this
: bet!
    不！！不可能的工作啊！只要小小的失誤就會讓數以千計的Magic玩家用憤怒的
email灌爆你，只因為某些像Time Vault或其它根本沒人真的會用的牌的規則讓他們
看不懂！這籌碼，靠，這籌碼太巨大了。你必須要贏這注啊！

Time Vault
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=45
: "Uhh, OK, I guess," you say, too tired to try to fight for a less horrible
: fate.
    「呃、好、我猜可以吧。」你說，已經疲於奮戰以求得比較不那麼恐怖的命運了
。
: "Great bet!" your boss beams.  "OK, then, in one week, you bring me your
: card design, and I'll bring mine.  We'll need a judge, though, of the
: cards."
    「賭得好！」你老大眉開眼笑。「好，那接著呢，一星期內你就把你設計的牌拿
來吧，我也會帶來我的。我們要個裁判來評我們的牌。」
: Again, your mind races.  Who?  Who would make a good judge?  Who can
: separate the truly bad from the merely mediocre?  They have to know the
: game, and understand something about how it works.  Well, that rules out
: all the other members of the design team, and all the playtesters.  Who
: could do it?  A name prods into your consciousness.  "Bethmo," you blurt
: out.
    你的大腦又一次開始強力運轉。要選誰？誰來判比較好？誰能確實分辨出真的超
爛跟只是有點平庸的差別？他們必須要知道這遊戲，而且懂得它怎樣玩。嗯，設計小
組的人還有測試玩家得要除外。誰可以？有個名字刺進了你的意識之中。「Bethmo。
」你脫口而出。
: "Ahh, interesting choice," your boss responds.  "Bethmo it is.  See you in
: a week, chump!"
    「喔，有趣的選擇。」你老大回答。「就是Bethmo了。下星期見，傻子！」
: Well, you're off the hook for seven days.  But what card to make?  It has
: to be bad, really bad.  You decide to go home and sleep on it.
    呼，這七天中你脫離險境了。但是該做出什麼牌？它得要爛，真的很爛。你決定
先回家睡個爽。
: You spend the next several days trying to figure out what makes a card
: truly bad.  You come up with nothing truly awful--the buyback blue -1/+1 on
: creatures you control and the Plainswalking Sliver just aren't quite bad
: enough.
    你花了接著幾天試著刻劃那張真的很爛的牌。你想出某些沒有真的很恐怖的東西
──只能讓你控制的生物-1/+1可購回、或是地行者的裂片妖不夠爛。
: It's judgment day, and you're really sweating.  What, what really makes a
: card bad?  Combos, you decide.  The card has to have literally zero value
: on its own--something that could only be used in a combo.  It should, you
: decide, also be an artifact.  After all, that way it can't be used with a
: pitch spell.
    判決之日到了，你真的一身冷汗。什麼真的能讓牌變得很爛？組合技，你決定了
。這張牌獨立使用是毫無價值的──某張只能用在組合技的牌。你還決定它得要是個
神器。而且它還不能用在個有力的咒語上。
: OK, so an artifact that only works in combination.  But with what?  A
: specific card that's not in print?  No, that wouldn't work, that'd be too
: obvious--has to be a class of cards.  Other artifacts?  No, Type 2 players
: use artifacts all the time--too bad they printed Cursed Scroll and Winter
: Orb.  OK, something that combos with an enchantment.  No, that won't work,
: either, with all those Propaganda and COP:Red players out there.  And it
: can't be creatures, either, since we've actually printed some decent
: creatures of late.
    好，所以一個只能用在組合技的神器。但是要跟什麼配？一種根本沒發行過的卡
類別？不，這行不通，太沒創意了──一定要是某種存在的牌。其它神器？不行，標
準賽玩家一直都會用神器──詛咒卷軸跟冬之球的存在真是太糟了。好，那跟結界配
吧。不，這也不行，因為宣導跟反紅保護環在那。但是一定不能是配生物，因為我們
最近已經印了些不錯的生物。

Cursed Scroll
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=4601

Winter Orb
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=3820

Propaganda
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=4718

COP:Red
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=55042
: Hmm.  OK, well, what is it that makes combos bad?  Well, first, they're
: fragile--so it can't be anything that actually protects whatever it's
: combined with.  That's pretty good.  What else makes combos difficult?
    嗯嗯。好吧，什麼讓組合技變得很爛？嗯，首先，它很容易被破解──所以它
不能去保護它搭配的東西。似乎不錯。還有什麼讓組合技更難用？
: Ahh, let's see, you have to have both cards around at the same time, which
: makes it harder to draw them.  But even still, if you have four of each
: piece of a two-card combo in your deck, the chance of drawing at least one
: of each on seven cards in a 60-card deck is still more than 10%.  Hmm.
    呃，讓我們瞧瞧。你得要讓兩張牌同時在場，所以很難直接用抽的湊到。不過，
如果兩張牌的組合技元件各擺滿四張，在60張牌的Deck裡其實抽到的機率還是有超過
10%。嗯。
: So it has to be a combo with something that you wouldn't put 4 of in a
: deck.  Preferably something most people wouldn't even play at all, because
: of prohibitive casting cost or uselessness.  Some really big creature,
: since creatures are pretty kill-able.  Hmm, something expensive, usually
: not very useful, that people wouldn't put more than one or two of in a
: deck.  That's it--Legends!  Something that combines with Legends.
    所以它必須要跟某種你不會想擺滿四張的東西搭配。有些東西因為施放費用太貴
或根本沒用，玩家寧可一張都不擺。某些大生物，因為生物很好殺。嗯，某些很貴，
通常不是很有用，玩家不會放超過一或兩張在Deck裡。就是它──傳奇！某個跟傳奇
搭配的東西。
: You're on a roll now, you can't be stopped.  Something only useful in
: combination with a legend.  But how to be sure it isn't useful?  If there
: were some way to make sure people wouldn't put more than one or two of
: these in the deck, too, well, it'd be almost impossible to draw both.  A
: brainstorm--make it a legend, too!  A Legendary Artifact!
    你勢如破竹，已經無人可擋了。某個只對傳奇有用的東西。但要怎樣確保它不好
用？如果有方法確保玩家也不要放這東西超過一或兩張在Deck就好了，這樣要抽到這
兩張組合就真的幾乎不可能了。一陣腦力激盪後──把它也變成傳奇！一個傳奇神器
！
: This has to be the most useless card you've ever come up with.  Think of
: all the flak you got for Taniwha!  They haven't seen anything yet.  OK,
: now, a legendary artifact that combines with a legend.  That alone is
: pretty much entirely a waste of space.  It has to do something minor.
    這必然會比你想過的任何牌更沒用。想想你罵過Taniwha的任何話！他們還沒見
過更誇張的呢。好，現在，有個傳奇神器要配個傳奇。自己存在是完全浪費空間。它
還得有點小功能。

Taniwha
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=3366
: Can't grant the Legend any special abilities, those can be useful.  We
: wouldn't want to make the legend any harder to kill with targeted removal
: spells like Terror.  Oh, and it has to be a "tap" ability so it isn't
: always in effect and gets shut down by Null Rod.  Oh, and it should target
: the legend, too, since that won't always work, either.  Let's see, tap to
: give target legend...  Well, it can't be anything TOO big, but these are
: Legends.  OK, Legendary Artifact, Tap to give target legend +2/+2.  And
: hey, there are legends in this set--I bet we can even work it in to the
: backstory!
    不可以給那個傳奇任何異能，太有用了。我們不想要讓傳奇更難被殺牌如驚駭殺
掉。喔，它得要是個橫置啟動的能力才不會一直有效而且可以被虛空短杖封鎖。喔，
還有它也得要指定那個傳奇，才不會總有用。讓我們瞧瞧，橫置指定目標傳奇......
。嗯，它不能是什麼大東西，不過他們可是傳奇。好，傳奇神器，橫置能給目標傳奇
+2/+2。喔嘿，這系列裡有傳奇耶──我打賭我們可以把這東西擺進背景故事裡！

Terror
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=16624
Null Rod
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=4437
: You walk in to the room on the moment of truth confident, but still
: slightly afraid.  After all, you are up against the master here--the man
: who brought us cards in the last set like Excavator and Mogg Cannon and
: thought they were too good to be commons.  What would he think was bad?
    你在充滿自信的那瞬間走進房間，但仍然有點害怕。畢竟，你在對抗大師──那
個上系列才搞出鑽地戰車或莫葛大砲這種牌，而且還以為他們好到不該是普通牌的人
。到底什麼在他心目中才足夠叫做爛啊？

Excavator
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=4607
Mogg Cannon
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=4618
: Bethmo looks depressed--she doesn't want to be here any more than you do.
: Finally, your boss walks in, grinning from ear to ear.  Your heart sinks.
: "Let's see what you've got!" he booms.
    Bethmo看來很沮喪──她跟你一樣完全不想待在這兒。最後，你老大來了，裂嘴
大笑。你的心都要沉下去了。「讓我們看看你搞來什麼！」他大聲說。
: You hand the piece of paper to Bethmo.  "Are you serious?"  You look
: confused.  She can't actually think this is good, can she?  "This is
: terrible!  Good lord, it's even Legendary itself!  That's horrendous."
    你把一張紙拿給Bethmo。「你認真的嗎？」你看來很困惑。她不可能覺得這東西
很好吧，不會吧？「這太糟了吧！老天，它自己甚至都是傳奇！這太恐怖了。」

Sword of the Chosen
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=5250
: Whew!
    耶！
: Your boss looks displeased, and hands a piece of paper to Bethmo.  She
: ponders it for a moment...  "Uhh, you're kidding, right?  This is a 3/3 for
: 2, and it's red!"
    你老大看來不太高興，然後把張紙拿給了Bethmo。她想了一下......。「嗯，你
在開玩笑對吧？兩點叫3/3，而且還是紅的！」

Mogg Flunkies
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=5100
: Your boss's smile drops.  "Well, yes, but look at the drawback!"
    你老大的笑僵住了。「呃，對，但是你看看那缺點！」
: She reads:  "'Can only attack or block when other creatures you control are
: attacking or blocking.'  So?"
    她念著：「『除非你所操控的其他生物進行攻擊或阻擋，否則不能進行攻擊或阻
擋。』所以咧？」
: "You need other creatures!  Without them, it's worse than a Wall!"
    「你要有別的生物！沒有的話，它比牆還爛！」
: "Well, sure," she says "but think of Sligh.  If Ironclaw Orcs are 2/2 for 2
: and people play those, what do you think will happen here?"
    「喔，對啊。」她說。「但是你想想史賴套牌。如果鐵爪半獸人那樣兩點叫2/2
而玩家照樣會用，這張你又覺得如何？」

Ironclaw Orcs
http://wowbox.tw/mtg/viewacard.php?CardID=4066
: "Sligh?" your boss asks.  "What's that?"
    「史賴？」你老大問。「那啥鬼？」
: "You don't know what Sligh is?  Ugh, never mind.  Look, I'm sorry, but this
: Legendary Artifact thing is just SO bad..."  You've won!  You're saved!
    「你不知道史賴是啥？噢，別管了。看著，我很抱歉，但這張傳奇神器真的有夠
爛......」你贏了！你活下來了！
: Your boss is incensed.  "Let me see that card of his.  Hmm, target Legend
: gets +2/+2.  I don't see what's so bad about that--I think mine is much
: worse than this."  You're astonished, but he really doesn't seem to be
: kidding.
    你老大怒了。「給我看看他的牌。嗯嗯，目標傳奇+2/+2。我沒覺得這有多爛啊
──我覺得我的比較爛。」你都傻眼了，可是他真的看起來不像在開玩笑。
: Bethmo does not falter.  "Well, you asked for my opinion.  I think that
: 'Sword of the Chosen' is horrible."
    Bethmo毫不猶豫。「噢，是你問我意見的。我覺得『天命之劍』比較恐怖。」
: Your boss grumbles.  "Well, OK, we'll print it as a rare, then, just like I
: promised.  But we're printing my card, too, but I guess since you don't
: think it's so bad, we'll just make it an uncommon."
    你老大咕噥著。「噢，好吧，我們會把這印成R卡，就像我承諾過的。但是我們
也會印我這張，但我猜你不覺得這很爛，所以我們只會把它弄成U卡。」
: It's over.  You got your rare, and you got your boss off your back at least
: until Exodus.
    結束了。你得到了你的R卡，然後至少到Exodus為止你不再去碰你老大。
: As you're walking back to your office, you can hear your boss mumbling to
: himself.  "Gonna have to get even with that Bethmo.  Hmm, maybe I could
: give *her* Tom's job..."
    當你離開你的辦公室，你可以聽到你老大在那喃喃自語。「我很快就會向Bethmo
報仇的。嗯，也許我應該把Tom的那個工作交給她......」

--
    「如果你沒法給我個解釋的話，死一萬次也不能彌補你的過錯！」

    「我沒辦法死一萬次賠妳啊。」

    「可是你有辦法半死兩萬次，知道嗎，嗯？」
                                                  －－蓮．席斯塔

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※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 111.250.170.200
※ 編輯: ddavid          來自: 111.250.170.200      (12/11 05:38)
推 wedman:大推:D
推 KomachiO:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
推 a921103030:這太好笑了~~~~~~~~~~~XDDDDDDDDDDD
推 Connels:大推翻譯
推 rafe:如何創造最爛的牌~~~這根本是八奇的思考領域啊!
    改點小錯誤。
※ 編輯: ddavid          來自: 114.36.163.24        (12/11 13:54)
推 shadowblade:這個好阿w
推 ASAKU581:這個故事超棒XD 而且說明了主管的想法跟現實總會有差距
推 kirimaru73:翻譯辛苦了XDDD
推 jenyang8027:bump
推 fkzj:辛苦了
推 PRODIGALEX:8654篇應該可以列入這篇的導讀篇....