作者kart (=\)
站內MiamiHeat
標題[外電] 輕鬆搞笑文：我的LBJ面對面體驗
時間Thu May 12 07:48:52 2011
快開打了，有準備要看球的應該都挺緊張的
來個今天看到的輕鬆文 lol
http://hoopspeak.com/2011/05/my-lebron-story/
By Brett Koremenos
“That was waaay too easy!” my buddy exclaims.
我的好友在旁邊大叫「這也太太太簡單了吧！」
I re-focus my attention from Tweeting inane things back to the
Game 4 action between Miami and Boston. Replays flash of LeBron
James barreling into Paul Pierce, sending him sliding on his back
across the floor.
我把我的視線從推特上轉回正在面前打球的熱火-老賽第四戰。
看重撥知道LBJ剛剛把包皮撲倒，造成包皮往後滑了一段距離的
進攻犯規。
“Pierce knew where he was going, all he had to do was step in
front. Boom. Charge. I don’t know how he doesn’t pick up four of
those a game,” he continued.
我的好友繼續他精辟的見解：「包皮知道ＬＢＪ的動向，他只要在
LBJ啓動前跑到他前面。就是個進攻犯規。我不懂為啥包皮一場不來
製造四個類似的犯規？」
We all have a friend, heck it could be you, who make these the
casual claims from the couch. From the classic “I don’t get why
you can’t play hard every game when you’re making ten million a
year” to the oft repeated “He couldn’t even guard me at this
point in his career!”–expert opinions are always at hand. One of
my favorites is when people bemoan the fact that Player X was too
afraid to stand in and take a charge from Player Y.
是的，我們大夥都有這樣的一個朋友，這他X的有可能就是你，一個
喜歡沒事躺在沙發上對比賽指指點點的角色。經典一點的就會說：「
我不懂為什麼賺幾百幾千萬的球員不能打得稍微認真一點。」到常常
說得：「這老傢伙現在連我都守不住了吧？」
這種「專業」的見解總是層出不窮
而這些見解裡面我最喜愛的就是人們喜歡說
為啥Player X那麼怕去對Player Y做進攻犯規咧？
“How hard it is to take a charge?” they mock.
他們總是以抱怨的語氣說：「
有那麼難嗎？」
I used to nod sagely with this group. After all, I had been
toughened by countless fights with my older brother (most of which
I lost…badly) and hundreds of pickup basketball games, many of
which best resembled rugby scrum. It wouldn’t be fun, but I could
imagine myself throwing my Barea-esque frame in front of an NBA
athlete hurtling toward me at top speed.
過去我聽到這種見解也是點頭如導蒜。畢竟我認為從小到大和我哥哥
打架已經焠鍊我成為一個堅強的男人（雖然我總是被痛扁的很慘）。
更別提我們之間還有數百場打得像是泥巴橄欖球一樣的籃球賽。
或許被人撞不是很好玩得事，但是我認為像我這樣有著跟
JJB類似體格
的人被一個NBA球員撞也不是太困難。
(Growing in confidence) Pshht! I wouldn’t even hesitate.
切！我當然不會遲疑囉（自爽持續中）
That was all before my unexpected run-in with LeBron.
這個自信心在我一次與LBJ的不期而遇被摧毀了。
I was working as a Game Night Intern for the Milwaukee Bucks at
the time. It was a Saturday night, and James and the Cavaliers
were in town. This particular game, I was in charge of shuttling
fans through the bowels of the stadium for the “Pre-Game
High-Five Tunnel”, which, for anyone wondering, is exactly what
it sounds like. As per usual, that night I performed my duties
admirably. I guided the fans back to the lobby, thanked them for
coming to the game, and turned around to head to the press room
for some gratis pre-game grub.
我當時是公鹿隊的實習生。是一個禮拜六的晚上，LBJ和騎士來訪。
這一場比賽特別的是我負責安排每一晚有幸被選中在走道上跟球員擊掌
的球迷。而這一晚我把工作做的挺不錯的，然後我把球迷帶回
大廳並且感謝她們來看球，隨即轉身往新聞室走。
There was about five minutes left in warm-ups as I strolled,
excited to fully take advantage of the free food that awaited. My
day-dream was snapped by the sound of sneakers pounding pounding
on the cement floor. I looked up to see none other than LeBron
James galloping toward me. It was my first month with the team and
being a little star-struck, my first thought was, “Holy balls it
’s LeBron James!”
我往回走的時候大概球員還有五分鐘熱身吧，我正興奮的想著作為
球場實習生的好處：免費的食物正等著我！我邊走邊做白日夢，卻被
走道對面一陣急切的腳步聲打斷。我抬頭一看，看到LBJ正朝我跨步
而來。當時是我第一個月實習，而我還沈溺於可以看見很多球星的階段。
所以我的第一個想法是：「
天阿我的蛋蛋這是Lebron James!」
He was running along the same wall of the ten foot wide tunnel,
seemingly unaware of my presence. With the game starting soon, I
couldn’t help but wonder why he was heading back to the locker
room. Or if he’d somehow confuse me with Luke Ridnour.
他正跟我在同一個寬約10呎的走道相對而行。而他似乎沒有注意到我。
比賽就要開始了所以我不清楚他幹嘛往休息室的方向跑，我心裡默默的想。
「難道他把我誤認成Luke Ridnour了嗎？（XD）」
He continued to head right at me, no intention of breaking his
gait. It was just him and me in the tunnel, on the same path, less
than 30 feet between us. It was then that I realized an
athletic, 6-8, 260lb pound human being moving 60% of a full sprint
toward you is disconcerting.
他繼續朝我的方向前進，完全沒有要煞車的意思。整條長廊上就剩我和他了。
只有30呎不到的距離。這時候我才感受到一個6'8" 260磅的運動員，
用60%的跑步速度朝你前進並不是讓人感覺非常舒湖的......
My thoughts quickly shift from “I wonder if he even knows Luke
Ridnour plays here?” to “Well he’s gonna move, right?”
我內心的OS很快的從「他認識Luke Ridnour嗎？」到
「他應該會避開我吧？」
With about 20 feet between us, my inner monologue carousels from “
My goodness he’s a large human being” to “Dude, you have the
rest of the tunnel to run through. You realize this, don’t you?”
to a slightly more panicked “He’s gonna move, RIGHT?!”
當我們之間還有20呎時，我內心的OS迅速的變成「
我的老天這傢伙
真是龐然大物！」到「老兄，你知道這整條通道都可以讓給你。
你知道吧，對吧？」然後我開始緊張了「他會避開我吧，會吧？？」
Ten feet to go.
只剩10呎了。
I have accepted my fate. I am now beginning to wonder if I my
parents were proud of the things I accomplished, what are the
things I regret not doing the most, and if I’ll see my favorite
childhood pet in the afterlife.
我已經接受了我的命運。
我現在開始想我的父母有沒有對我所作的任何事
感到驕傲。我後悔我沒做過什麼事，和我會不會在天堂看到我兒時的寵物
Five feet.
五呎。
“OHMYGODSWEETDREWGOODEN’SNECKBEARDIMGONNADIE!!!!”
「我的老天上帝媽祖還有Drew Gooden保佑我我要死了！」
I close my eyes in a wince of unmentionable terror.
我閉上了我的眼睛並且心裡有一絲不可言喻的恐懼。
Whoosh!
咻～
Relief.
放心了。
As he moves down the hallway, I am immediately thankful I was
given the opportunity to learn that the sound a semi truck makes
passing you on the highway is eerily similar to the sound that
Lebron James makes while running by you, shoulder to shoulder.
當他終於跟我交會過去時，我馬上瞭解到就像你在高速公路上避開
一臺急駛而過的卡車的感覺一樣。
I pull out my phone and text one of my fellow interns.
我拿出了我的電話並且傳了簡訊給我同是實習生的同事。
“LeBron almost ran me over in the tunnel”
「LBJ差點在走道把我輾過去捏～」
He texts back:
他簡訊回來：
“You should have taken the charge.”
「
你應該要用身體阻擋讓他進攻犯規！」
Guess I’m not that tough after all.
我想我或許沒我想像的那麼強壯。
--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 192.12.78.250
推 liugayo:先推..K大快看比賽呀~ 05/12 07:49
→ qwe123qqq:可惜推剛用掉~樓下幫我 05/12 07:50
推 andy556638:不幫! 05/12 08:02
→ qwe123qqq:哭哭~那樓下哩 05/12 08:03
推 wii128:我來 05/12 08:07
推 qwe123qqq: 吹 05/12 08:08
→ liugayo:只好把K大這篇拿來集氣了 LBJ&Bosh快醒呀!! 05/12 08:09
推 kniaz:今天關門戰我想看LBJ爆氣灌籃.... >"< 05/12 08:09
→ liugayo:K大：熱火上半場小輸就是贏 05/12 08:11
推 GavinLee1121:幫推 05/12 08:11
推 a7891:坦克真的不是這麼簡單的兵器阿 05/12 08:14
推 qwe123qqq: Let's Go Heat!!! 05/12 08:16
推 qwe123qqq: Let's Go Heat!!! 05/12 08:21
推 qwe123qqq: Let's Go Heat!!! 顆顆 05/12 08:27
推 apestage: Let's Go Heat!!! 05/12 08:51
推 d88647511:為啥是Gooden XD 05/12 09:21
推 kniaz:終於看到LBJ扣籃了 05/12 09:33
推 evilvens:XDDDDDDDDDDDDD 05/12 17:58
→ evilvens:推這篇!!! 05/12 17:58