[閒聊] 健身房的討厭鬼

[lelu (樂路)]

CNN整理健身房的十大討厭鬼（其實是CNN從別的地方抄來的）
滿有趣的，分享給大家
順便做了翻譯

*注意
為了增加酸度和趣味性，本人並非逐字翻譯
有部分改寫以符合國情或笑點

原文連結:
http://edition.cnn.com/2014/11/12/health/gym-etiquette/index.html?hpt=hp_c5

======================================================

(Life by DailyBurn) -- You've made the honorable effort of getting your butt
to the gym. Little do you know, the battle has only just begun.
恭喜，你已成功地將你的屁股移往健身房，但你不知道的是，這場戰役才剛開始。

Claiming your space for high-intensity intervals, handstands and heavy lifts
isn't easy -- and during peak hours, there's a real art to getting fit in
close quarters. But on the road to slimming down, leaning out, or getting
swole, are you leaving behind a trail of destruction (alongside a pool of
sweat on the bench)?
清出一個能做HIIT、雙臂伸展與重訓的空間並不容易--特別是在尖峰時刻，
在擁擠的空間運動真是一門藝術。
但是在瘦身減脂、學習健身、增肌變大隻佬的的路上，
你是否也留下一堆爛攤子給別人收（包含椅子上的那攤汗水）?

DailyBurn: 5 CrossFit workouts that will kick your butt
According to a survey conducted by Nuffield Health, a U.K.-based health firm,
the answer may be yes. Of the 2,000 people polled, 74% said fellow gym goers
were guilty of bad gym etiquette, and many implicated themselves as well: 49%
admitted to having used water bottles and towels that weren't actually
theirs; 33% revealed they exercise without deodorant; 18% fessed up to
working out despite coughing, sneezing and being sick; and 16% flat-out said
they don't wash their clothes between workouts.
根據英國一間健身房的調查，你可能也是兇手之一。
在2000份問卷中，74%的人認為健身房的其他人沒禮貌！
其中更有許多人承認自己也是其中之一：49%的人承認曾使用過別人
的水壺或毛巾；33%的人坦承上健身房錢沒使用體香劑；
18%儘管咳嗽、流鼻水又感冒還是上健身房；
16%的人坦承他們沒洗運動服且重複穿來健身房。

Skeeved out?Us too.
But don't throw in the towel just yet. In an effort to make your box, studio
or sports club a friendlier, safer and all-around-more-awesome place to be,
we called in some of the top trainers in the country to weigh in on proper
workout decorum.
While this list is by no means exhaustive, it hits on some of the deadliest
sins in sweatsville. So who are the worst offenders?
起雞皮疙瘩了嗎?我們也是。
但先別急著丟毛巾。為了使您的健身房更加友善、安全及更讚，
我們請國內（指美國）頂尖的教練群列出幾項健身房應有的禮貌。
儘管這份清單未然詳盡，卻也對比出健身房的一些討厭鬼，所以是那些人呢？

The gym's most wanted list
健身房的懸賞名單

1. The Hoarder
Need one of everything, in every size, shape and color? Health club hoarders
aren't unlike the ones you see on reality TV. "They stand in the same spot in
front of the mirror with a collection of dumbbells in every weight around
them and swear they're using them all -- while doing 10 different exercises,"
says Max Tapper, personal trainer at The Sports Center at Chelsea Piers. How
to avoid stockpiling? "Make circuits small and only take the weights you will
need immediately," Tapper says.
DailyBurn: 5 intermittent fasting methods: Which one is right for you?
1.健身松鼠
想要所有的器材，包含所有重量、外型和顏色？
這些健身松鼠和你在電視上看到的並無不同。
＂他們一直待在同一個地方，面對鏡子，
身邊堆滿了各種啞鈴並宣稱他全部都有用到--用它們來做10種不同的動作。＂
Chelsea Piers的私人教練Max Taper如是說。
如何避免囤貨過多？縮短組間一循環的時間並只拿取馬上要用的重量。

2. The Not-So-Supersetter
Supersetting (i.e. alternating between two or more exercises at a time) is a
fantastic way to maximize your time, and your burn. It's also a fantastic way
to make some gynemies during peak lifting hours. Claiming "dibs" on multiple
areas of the gym not only ties up two pieces of real estate at once, it
forces others to wait and ask around if someone's still there. "If you're
using more than one piece of equipment, make sure you're close to them at all
times," says fitness coach JC Deen of JCD Fitness. Walk away for more than 15
to 30 seconds, and most people will assume you're done, Deen says.
"Supersetting is a luxury, not a necessity," adds strength coach and author
Bret Contreras. Bottom line: "If the gym is busy, don't superset!"
2.微-超組
超組數訓練法（一次在兩種或更多動作之間循環）
以時間效率及燃脂效率來說超讚。對豎立健身房仇人來說也超讚。
這些人不僅同時佔領多個器材，
還逼得別人必須排隊等候或趨前問候：兄臺練功尚餘幾炷香？
＂如果你同時使用一個以上的器材，你最好一直待在它們旁邊＂
JCD Fitness的體適能教練JC Deen如是說。
離開它們超過15~30秒，別人會假設你已經做完了。
＂超組訓練法很好，但不是必要的。如果健身房人很多，就不要做超組數！＂
健身教練及作家Brent Contreras補充。

3. The Spoiled Brat
Blame growing up with nannies, butlers and maids. For some, cleaning up after
themselves isn't second nature, which means stray kettlebells, plates and
other gym essentials not in their proper place. "It's pretty
self-explanatory, but it sucks when you're rushing to get in a workout and
you spend half the time looking for the dumbbell or medicine ball you need,"
says Dan Trink, C.S.C.S., strength coach and owner of Trink Fitness. Avoid
timeout by returning your equipment back where it belongs.
3.被寵壞的孩子
要就怪他們的父母沒把孩子教好，有些人就是不懂得收拾。
也就是說野生的壺鈴、槓片和各種器材到處都是。
C.S.C.S.，Trink Fitness的老闆兼健身教練Dan Trink說：
＂此點不證自明。當你急著開工，
卻發現花了一半時間在找尋啞鈴和槓片，那真的很糟。＂物歸原處是好習慣。

4. The Exhibitionist
When you're pushing through that last round of v-ups or sled sprints,
distractions can be a very good thing. But people-watch at your own risk.
According to Jordan Syatt, five-time world record powerlifter, strength coach
and owner of SyattFitness.com, overexposure (including "working out sans
underwear") is more common than you'd think. "I'm all for giving yourself
some extra breathing room, but for your sake -- and everyone around you --
make sure you strap on a decent pair of undies."
The same goes for shirts at certain boxes and gyms. "We have a shirts-on
policy for men and women," says Kelly Starrett, coach and founder of San
Francisco CrossFit. "As a practical matter, it keeps people's sweat from
dripping all over our gym. More importantly, the gym should be a place that
feels welcoming and inclusive, and not a place the few super jacked people
can show off their six-packs."
4.暴露狂
當你在做最後一組v-ups或sled sprints,時，腳可以再開一點，
但是曝光風險請自負。
曾創下五次世界舉重紀錄的Jordan Syatt表示，
穿著暴露（包含”梅川內酷”）的人比你想像的還多。
＂也許你想要更自由的呼吸，但是為了你好，也為了大家好，
請確保你穿著適當的遮羞布。＂
某些健身房也有穿著上的規定。
＂不論男女，我們規定必須穿著上衣＂Kelly Starrett如是說。
＂實務上來說，這能防止人們的汗四處亂濺，更重要的，健身房
應該是個老少咸宜的地方，而不是少數猛男♂炫耀六塊肌的地方。


5. The Miley
We're just minding our own business at the pull-up bar, and in comes the
wrecking ball -- music blaring from their over-ear headphones, singing
full-voice for all to hear. Is it Miley, just being Miley? Unlikely. "Singing
in the gym it is not only distracting to gym members, it's flat-out
annoying!" says Michelle Lovitt, celebrity trainer and fitness expert. "Sing
in your head or in the shower so the only person you're distracting is
yourself."
5.誰來當歌手
我們正專心準備做引體向上，此時耳邊傳來一陣噪音—音樂從全罩式耳機傳出，
聽的人同時大聲唱給所有人聽。
＂在健身房裡唱歌不僅讓其他人分心，
更讓人心煩。在心裡唱或是到淋浴間去唱才好。＂

--引述符號及引述者以下省略--

6. The Pick-Up Artist
Want to gawk? Swipe right. For all other inquiries, keep it respectable.
Leering men aren't just creepy, they're "one of the biggest reasons women
tell me they're intimidated by the weight room," says Adam Rosante, fitness
and wellness coach, and author of The 30-Second Body. "If you see someone who
really catches your attention, try to make eye contact at an appropriate time
-- not mid back squat -- and smile. If she smiles back, wait until she's done
crushing it to say hello. If she blows you off, move on. You can go run 10
minutes of intervals to alleviate the sting."
6.選美評審
眼睛想吃冰淇淋？回去看表特版。至於其他人，請放尊重點。
豬哥不僅僅討厭，他們更是女生們害怕踏入重訓區的主因之一。
如果你覺得某人真的是你的菜，請在試當的時機獻殷勤，
但不是在對方深蹲做一半時。
試圖露出微笑，如果對方有了回應，請等她做完並主動搭訕。
如果她打你槍，你可以去做10分鐘間歇有氧以舒緩這份傷痛。

7. The Talker
Up to 32 percent of gym rats admit to regularly interrupting their session to
chat it up with friends. Sure, that's OK for a recovery day, but most
workouts should involve some amount of work. "If you're able to carry on a
full conversation while on the treadmill, you aren't doing it right!" says
Anja Garcia, DailyBurn and Equinox trainer. Gossip can wait -- and for the
24/7 gabbers, cell phone calls should never take place on a moving conveyor
belt (trust us). "It's important to dedicate time to yourself, your fitness
and your health." Garcia says. Leaving distractions behind can be the
difference between a phenomenal workout, and a face plant.
7.三姑六婆
超過32%的健身房常客坦承他們經常為了和朋友聊天而中斷訓練。
當然如果是復原日就算了，但大多數的訓練應該滿足一定的量。
＂如果你能一邊聊天一邊踩飛輪，那你一定做錯了。＂
在移動的器材上你更不應該接電話。花時間在自己、
你的身材以及你的健康絕對值得。
避免分心是你能專心健身而不是跌個狗吃屎的不二法則。

8. The Texter
Emojis can't type themselves -- at least not yet. And mid-workout, those
minutes scouring your smart phone can really add up, taking a toll on focus,
productivity and intensity (read: calorie burn). According to a survey
conducted by Harpers Fitness, a typical gym-goer wastes up to 35 percent of
each sweat session on non-fitness activities including texting, checking
email, and scrolling through apps. To avoid shortchanging yourself, put your
mobile into airplane mode and plug back in once you have that post-workout
shake in hand.
8.打字員
熊大和兔兔不能自己打字—至少目前是。
在健身時，低頭看手機的那幾分鐘積少成多，
分散注意力且降低效果和強度。
根據調查，一般上健身房的人會浪費35%的時間再做其他事
，包含打字、查訊息、以及滑手機。
為避免效果大打折扣，開啟飛航模式並在完成訓練後再轉回來。

9. The Drama Queen
Drop it like it's hot? That depends. If Olympic weightlifting (on an Olympic
platform) is your thing, by all means, go for it. But at most commercial gyms
that aren't properly equipped, dropping your weights can be deemed dangerous,
disruptive and downright unnecessary. "At the end of a very heavy set [it's]
sometimes unavoidable," says Sean Hyson, C.S.C.S., Training Director for
Men's Fitness magazine and author of The Truth About Strength Training. "But
if you see a guy doing it repeatedly, he's either desperate for attention or
very careless. Dropping dumbbells can damage them, as well as the floor
beneath, and abruptly dropping a barbell can warp the bar, causing it to
bend. Bent bars make loads unstable to lift and can cause injuries." We're
all for lifting heavy, but be aware of your gym's policy (Planet Fitness, we
know where you stand), and avoid unleashing the beast with every. single. rep.
9.超愛演
強到摔槓？這要看情況。如果你正在參加奧運舉重項目決賽，請盡情摔槓。
但在一般的健身房裡這並不好，刻意摔槓相當危險、破壞秩序且毫無必要。
＂有時在大重量組數的最後一下，這無可避免，
但如果你看到一個傢伙不斷重複摔槓，他要不是在冒險吸引注意，
就是太過粗心。摔啞鈴會破壞啞鈴、地板，粗暴地摔槓則可能折彎槓。
彎掉的槓造成槓片不平衡，並可能造成使用者傷害。
我們都想舉大重量，但請確保你遵守規則，
並且避免在每‧一‧組都釋放你內心的野性。

10. The Know-It-All
Dole out unsolicited advice and you're bound to push buttons. "I see it
happen a lot at various gyms I train at, and have yet to witness anyone who
appreciates a total stranger giving them advice that they didn't even ask
for," says Tony Gentilcore, CSCS, co-founder of Cressey Sports Performance in
Hudson, MA.
"There are a million reasons why a trainer — or non-trainer — might be
doing something, and presuming that you know why they're doing it is
condescending," says Jessi Kneeland [http://jessikneeland.com/], strength
coach and creator of Remodel Fitness. "If you must get involved, simply ask
them why they're doing it that way. They may be clueless and actually ask for
help — in which case go for it! But they may also have a special-case reason
for doing something unusual, that you might never have thought of," she says.
DailyBurn: Get the full list of the 20 worst people at the gym
10.萬事通
不管別人要不要就給予建議指導。
＂在我的健身房這經常發生，但我從沒看過被指導的人
感謝這不請自來的陌生人。別人這麼做可能有很多種原因，
而假設你知道為什麼的心態未免太過驕傲。
如果你看不過去，先問對方為什麼這麼做，
對方可能毫無頭緒，甚至請你協助，那就上吧！
但也許別人出於特殊原因而做這個動作，而你卻從沒想過。＂

以下則來自CNN轉載的原出處，後面還有10條


11. The Body Double
Imitation can be the sincerest form of flattery, unless of course that
involves attempting a 375-pound deadlift having never learned proper form. A
“monkey see, monkey do” deadlift (or any other exercise you may find poorly
executed on YouTube) won’t be deadly, but it can result in a strained
muscle, herniated disc, or worse. “It’s a recipe for disaster,” says Jason
D’Amelio, certified athletic trainer and owner of Total Athletic PT, and one
that can land you on YouTube yourself, but as a #gymfail. “Read up on new
exercises before attempting to execute them, and make sure you have good form
and technique before you start adding weight,” he says.
11.請你跟我這樣做
模仿可能是最有誠意的諂媚，除非那是個不標準的375磅的硬舉。有樣學樣的硬舉並不致
命，但可能導致肌肉拉傷、椎間盤突出或更糟。＂硬舉是常見悲劇的動作之一。做之前先
確保你讀清楚動作要領，並在增加重量前確保你姿勢正確。

12. The Grunter
There’s beast mode, and then there’s beast mode. If you’re performing a
near-max set, grunting is an acceptable practice that’s often impossible to
control, Hyson says. “It’s a byproduct of the pressure that builds up in
the abdomen from holding your breath during a lift.” Research suggests it
may also be the result of proper breathing, which can reinforce stability in
the core to help generate more power. It’s when those grunts begin to
resemble wounded animal noises that there may be a problem. D’Amelio adds, “
If you’re using 10-pound dumbbells for bicep curls and it’s a struggle to
lift them properly without making a prehistoric sound, consider dropping to a
lighter weight where you can perform the exercise with full range of motion
and full control.”
12.野性的吼叫
首先開啟野獸模式，然後再開啟野獸模式！
如果你正在做一個極限組，亂吼亂叫通常是無法控制而可以接受的。
＂當你在舉重的同時憋氣並腹肌用力，這是無法避免的副產品。＂
研究並指出這是正常呼吸的現象，可以穩定核心肌群並產生更大能量。
但是當這些吼叫聽起來很像垂死的動物在呻吟時，那就有問題了。
如果你用10磅啞鈴做二頭肌彎舉且用盡全力卻仍必須發出聲音還不舉，
請考慮降低重量，直到你能做出一個完整動作必保持對啞鈴的控制。

==========================================
剩下的我覺得不好笑而且也還好，就暫不翻譯也不轉貼了

--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc), 來自: 220.136.72.231
※ 文章網址: http://www.ptt.cc/bbs/MuscleBeach/M.1415878229.A.4E6.html
推 RWebster: 推 討厭摔器材跟無病呻吟！
推 heyopp: 回去看表特版XD 還自己加
推 JohnnyWalker: 關於第5點...我真的看過有人在組間休息時唱歌...
推 Carmelo: 健身hater: 你太油,你太吵,你太慢,你太久,你太臭,你太弱
→ Carmelo: 我是資優生 hater有理?
推 minoru04: 滑手機的問題真是越來越嚴重了
→ Carmelo: 真正持續在練的天天in & out 練完就閃 才沒那麼多毛
→ Carmelo: 覺得運動看誰都不爽的可以開個 gym_hate
推 drcula: 2.微-超組??我看不懂意思,是指一次做多種器材但是都佔著??
→ drcula: 我也是會一次做多種,但是就是輪著做,找有空的器材做
→ drcula: 假設做12345,做完1要做2,結果2有人,就去做3 or 4,這樣
就是循環式訓練，或稱微-循環式訓練
微，不是文青，是因為只做兩三種所以循環一次超快
但三種器材都被這個人佔用了
推 liberating: 推第六點
推 elvanpenz: the Miley XDDDD
→ acegikmp: 大學的健身房3跟4最多  然後地區健身房是一大堆78
推 amarni333: 兄台練功尚餘幾炷香？
※ 編輯: lelu (220.136.72.231), 11/13/2014 23:26:10
→ cosy: 8超多的.....10個去練的 有5~6個都在那滑 組間休息滑個3分鐘
→ truthchaser: 我組間休息會滑但會設倒數一分半，不然真不知道幹嘛
→ Spartan117: 喘氣阿
推 DLCSEA: 推長知識 沒去過健身房XD
推 ji3g4linda: 其實沒那麼喘or心跳沒那麼快 就應該繼續做了
→ ji3g4linda: 定時間通常是怕不小心休息太久
推 firefoxriko: 所以在家練不是挺好的嗎~我組間休息還能上ptt推文。
→ truthchaser: 除非練核心不然一組做完也沒喘那麼久吧@@
推 wepahoo: 每個都遇過，二的話做的快就算了，還同時滑手機是怎樣
→ ming0128: 我還邊練邊看IPAD耶 QQ
推 uwmtsa: 好在我都龜在家
推 flybearliang: 我都在 5RM的最後一下  不小心吼一聲
→ popstarkirby: 現在在美國，學校健身房有禁止脫衣服..會被警告
推 ashin1069: 我要看手機都會離開器材看，教練還說你真有禮貌-"-
推 td770715: a大真有禮貌，昨天就是遇到一個邊練邊用手機LINE的
推 zmimoboy: 划手機的看了就不爽
→ zmimoboy: 沒看過練得不錯的邊練邊划 幾乎都是來亂的
推 jackie1023: 超討厭12...吼一次還好 每次都吼且超大聲有無言到
推 gaymuscle: 梅川內酷是哪個日本人?
推 fukyou: 看囚徒健身 好久沒去了
推 doroarien: 在對方深蹲做一半時獻殷勤XDDDD
→ linchangray: 我第四組就在叫了XD
→ acegikmp: 休息3~5分鐘臭了嗎~~~~
推 sylviehsiang: 我討厭在更衣室不穿衣服的
→ sylviehsiang: e04! 我是來健身 不是來看你們遛鳥
推 ashin1069: 遛鳥的99%都很胖 不然就老人 (個人所見
→ ashin1069: 應該是說 教練虧我說 : 你也太有禮貌了吧
→ ashin1069: 我只是將心比心很討厭在旁邊等人家滑手機滑完才擺
→ ashin1069: 一副晚娘面孔說:我還要練 (e04)，也不想被人家嫌說
→ ashin1069: 又不是練得多壯滑手機滑屁啊之類的 =_=
推 Jsin: 吼～～～～～
推 HIHINO: 我今天在更衣室看到有阿伯洗完澡用吹風機再吹覽趴.......
→ HIHINO: 而且還吹超久的,想到下一個用它來吹頭髮的人我就.........
→ HIHINO: 我暫時大概都會練完回家再洗了
推 asos82333: 我也是超討厭更衣室溜鳥的，大家都穿衣服他就光溜溜在
→ asos82333: 那吹頭髮不會怪嗎
※ 編輯: lelu (220.136.72.231), 11/15/2014 11:19:44
推 jones86723: 上次看到在更衣室剪腳皮，還直接丟地上差點踩到
推 firefoxriko: 三到五分鐘組間休息，ptt推文都不知道可以推幾篇了，
→ firefoxriko: 而且組間休五分鐘是可行的
推 firefoxriko: 這時後不滑手機要幹嘛，跟旁邊人聊天嗎，問題跟旁邊
→ firefoxriko: 人聊天一樣是受討厭的項目之一，事實上組間休息除非
→ firefoxriko: 很短，不然就算什麼事也不作發呆，一樣會被後面等的
→ firefoxriko: 人討厭
推 DLCSEA: 組間休五分鐘 走完操場一圈剛好XD
推 ji3g4linda: “滑手機”這件事本身其實還好啦
→ ji3g4linda: 會被討厭多半是那種一坐下來就開始滑
→ ji3g4linda: 做沒幾下又繼續滑 或是一滑就滑很久
→ ji3g4linda: 到底是趁空檔滑 還是上述那種
→ ji3g4linda: 大概20分鐘內就現形了啦 明眼人都看的出來
→ ji3g4linda: 另外組間5min多半是大重量或爆發力練習才要休那麼久
→ ji3g4linda: 可是一般來說很少見啦～～～
→ lelu: 通常大重量或爆發的組間不是氣喘如牛汗流如雨手無縛雞之力?
→ lelu: 說真的愛滑就滑,反正我都會上前問兄臺練功尚餘幾炷香
→ lelu: 有的就讓開,有的會馬上繼續做,有的就會一起做
→ acegikmp: 其實我不排斥一起做  只是沒人來問過而已(攤手)
推 md9tbagel: 非常討厭槓片亂丟的人，小學沒畢業還是家裡不會教啊