Fw: [閒聊] 你們做過最色的事情是什麼？

[optimize (宅邊有五朵菊 因以為號焉)]

※ [本文轉錄自 sex 看板 #1Fy4I_7_ ]

作者: ericbird (人間殺氣) 看板: sex
標題: [閒聊] 你們做過最色的事情是什麼？
時間: Sun Jul  1 20:38:21 2012

我在reddit看到老外前幾天分享的故事，就這留言超扯的XDD

所以粗略翻譯了一下，有些地方沒有翻譯的很精準，應該有些地方譯錯之類的0rz
如果你英文行的話，請直接看原文吧

來源：Reddit網站 askreddit版 http://redd.it/vnw7g

提問的帳號是 _AskRedditThrowaway
回答的帳號是 AlphaRedditor

Q: What is the sluttiest thing you've ever done?
   Obvious start... I blew my boyfriend behind his work in broad daylight
   when he was on his ten... Nothing too extreme. You?

問：你們曾經做過最色的事情是什麼？
    顯然由我先開始講......我曾在大白天時，趁男友還在工作的時候幫他吹30cm...
    沒啥了不起的，說說你們的經驗吧？

A： I had sex for Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

答：我曾經為了吃肉桂吐司脆片（一種營養榖片）跟人做愛。
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinnamon_Toast_Crunch

A couple years ago I was on a trip to Chicago, ended up staying at one of
those older hotels in the downtown area. I was visiting potential law
schools and decided to stay for a few days to catch in some sights.

好幾年前我去芝加哥旅遊，住在鬧區的一間舊旅館裡。我拜訪了幾間有潛力的法學院後，
決定多待幾天參觀一些觀光景點。

It wasn't the nicest hotel since I was still a student and not able to
afford something nicer for five days, but it did offer a continental
breakfast...which turned out to be completely terrible. The only thing I
ate during breakfast for the first two days was cereal, and they happened
to have Cinnamon Toast Crunch, aka, Cinnamon Holy Shit I Love this Shit. I
must have had a dozen boxes in the first three days, I packed my backpack
with it and ate a box while visiting the Sears tower. Fuck bagels, the Sin
Crunch was where it was at.

那不是一間最好的旅館，因為我那時還是窮學生沒法找個好一點的旅館住上五天，但至少
它有提供歐式早餐......但事後證明那真是爛爆了。我前兩天唯一吃的早餐是營養榖片，
那玩意兒叫「肉桂吐司脆片」，又叫做「它媽的肉桂我超愛」。我前三天肯定吃了一打脆
片吧。我還塞了一盒脆片在背包裡，在參觀西爾斯大廈的時候（芝加哥的摩天大樓，樓高
442.3公尺）把它嗑掉。去它的貝果，罪惡的脆片才該在這地方。（最後一句不確定是否翻
譯正確。不過貝果有三種作法，一個蒙特婁式的；一個紐約式；另一種式芝加哥式的，可
能跟這有關吧＠＠"）

So over the course of those few days, I couldn't help but get to know the
hotel staff members. I was travelling alone and I didn't know anyone in
town, so friendly conversations were welcomed. One of the girls that
worked on the kitchen staff noticed my penchant for the Cinnacrack and
joked that I had an addiction. Fucking right, too. She was in her early
20s, my age, seemed cute, and a little flirty. I didn't mind the attention.

過了這麼多天，我只有跟旅館員工很熟。我獨自旅行，城裡也沒半個認識的，所以很歡迎
友善的對話。有一個在廚房工作的女生注意到我特別愛吃肉桂吐司脆片，還笑我有脆片癮
。靠，她說的沒錯。她大概20初頭，跟我差不多年紀，看起來有些可愛、俏皮。我那時沒
有很在意她說的話。

But then on the fifth and final day, I went to the lobby for my normal
bowl of Sweetened Cinnamon goodness, everything fell apart. The cereal
boxes were gone. All that were left were what looked to be week-old
croissants. Crestfallen I turned to go back to my room when I heard a
whisper, "Mr. AlphaRedditor? I think I may have something you're looking
for." There was Ms. Staff Member, beckoning me from a doorway labelled for
employees only.

但到了最後一天，我走去大廳準備吃一碗心愛的脆片女神時，一切灰翻湮滅。脆片紙盒突
然消失了。那裡只剩下放了一個禮拜的牛角麵包。我氣餒的走回房間，突然聽到有人低聲
喊到：「AlphaRedditor先生？我想我有些你正在找尋的東西。」是那個女員工的聲音，她
示意我走到限定員工進入的房間門口前。

Curious, I approached her, thinking she was joking, hiding my Orgasm
Crunch from me. When I got to the door she ushered me inside the room. It
had a bed, dresser, no window, and barely separated restroom area (I later
found out that this was an overflow room for emergencies when a spare
guest room was absolutely needed). She was very business like in her
proposition: if we have sex, I get the goods. She then pulled out a large
cardboard box filled with about 50 Cinnamon Toast Crunch boxes inside.

我好奇的走向她，想說她開我玩笑，把我愛的脆片藏起來了。等我走到門前時，她帶我進
去房間，裡頭有張床、衣櫥、沒窗戶，還有一個勉強分出來的浴室（後來我才發現這房間
是為了避免房客太多沒房可睡時，應急用的。）她的提議非常商業口吻：如果我們做愛的
話，我就能拿到我想要的東西。然後她拉出一箱塞滿五十盒肉桂吐司脆片的大紙箱。

I looked at her as if she had to be joking. She wasn't. I ate like a king
for weeks.

我看著她像是在開玩笑吧。但是她沒有。之後我像個國王一樣吃了好幾個禮拜的脆片。

tl;dr: I'm a cereal whore.

長話短說：我是榖片男妓。

--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 125.233.147.43
推 zzxxzz:XD
推 harddaynight:I'm a cereal whore XDDD
推 l1l1l1l1:XDDDDDDDDDDD
推 snd:這太靠邀了....XDDDD
推 rei410553:喜瑞兒~~~~~~
推 crowley:XD
推 jimmy12332:我也要阿
推 kingroy:wwww
→ kingroy:這殺小阿XDDD
推 devil0915:人帥真好
推 mesto:這.. 其實是用來練習英文的吧
如果這推文是在說我的話，我承認我翻譯生硬，
只是想說依照過去經驗，貼原文在這裡，回應的下場八成不太好
所以就直譯硬解＠＠"

推 wagner:偷偷倒掉就好了啊
推 HuckleberryF:cereal whore　　好笑 XDDD
推 lele1014:最後一句XDDDDD
→ hitsukix:這個好笑XDDDDDDDDDDDD
※ 編輯: ericbird        來自: 125.233.147.43       (07/01 21:33)
推 john371911:太有喜感了！
→ Blitzcrank:為了吃肉桂吐司脆片那是最餓的事吧....
推 b95236:XDDDDDDDDDDDD
推 eyesclosed:辛苦給推
推 autumnheart:鳥為食亡
推 watashiD:cereal whore XDD It tastes like dog food!
推 micheyuan:最後一句才是爆點XDDDD
推 theren13:幹 太酷了= =
推 starbops:幹笑屎我了LOL
推 amatsu:推 辛苦翻譯 不然以性版版友的水準 沒啥人看得懂
推 icq7584:真爽
推 longface:XD
推 prog:標準的人帥真好?
推 alansher:我覺得那個 MARCH BAND的也很好笑xdd 多謝分享XDD
推 purtin16:XD
推 a87992772:XDDDDD
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
※ 轉錄者: optimize (220.135.80.72), 時間: 07/02/2012 21:34:27