[新聞] Report: Yankees Trademarked 'Yankees Suck' Chant In 1996

[ninini (超級跳tone人)]

邪惡帝國被吐嘈也能賺$$!
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/report_yankees_trademarked_yankees

TAMPA, FL—New York Yankees team ownership revealed Tuesday that the phrase
"Yankees suck," one of the most popular chants in sports, was trademarked by
the 27-time World Series champions prior to the 1996 season, a business
strategy that has earned the team close to $100 billion over the past 13
years.

靠夭啊,$100billion/13years=7.7billion/year=7700M≒今年payroll的36倍


U.S. Patent and Trademark Office records show that every time an individual
chants, shouts, or writes the words "Yankees suck," the New York Yankees
organization earns at least $2.15, an amount that escalates depending on
repetition, volume, and whether the phrase was used during a national
broadcast.

"If you multiply that $2 by 13 years of chants, hundreds of sellout games in
opposing teams' stadiums, and the hundreds of millions of people who hate the
Yankees, you can see that this was a brilliant financial tactic," Yankees
managing general partner Hal Steinbrenner said during a televised press
conference at the team's spring training facility. "Where do you think we get
the money to keep Mariano Rivera here? Or sign a bust like Carl Pavano
without making the slightest dent in our bank account?"

這段超好笑XDD

"You know what? Why don't you all join me in a 'Yankees suck' chant right
now. Come on, you know you want to," Steinbrenner added. "Yankees suck!
Yankees suck! Yankees suck! That's another $9 million right there."
Steinbrenner later told reporters that plans to trademark the phrase in 1996
were part of a long-term strategy. Team management was keenly aware that the
Yankees would be a World Series contender that year, and with the emergence
of Derek Jeter and a roster that included veterans like Paul O'Neill,
baseball fans were certain to be chanting "Yankees suck" in droves.

Furthermore, financial records indicate that by also owning the rights to the
common anti-Yankee epithet "Jeter blows," the team earned much of the money
needed to sign Alex Rodriguez in 2004. In addition, by creating and obtaining
the trademarks to the phrases "A-Roid," "A-Fraud," and "Jeter sucks, A-Rod
swallows," as well as acquiring partial intellectual property rights to the
concept that "All the Yankees are overpaid assholes who make it virtually
impossible for smaller-market teams to compete," the team has accumulated a
fiscal safety net that is estimated to last until 2210.

General Manager Brian Cashman told reporters that baseball fans who muttered
"Yankees suck" to themselves while on the grounds of major-league ballparks
during the second half of the 2007 season alone essentially funded the team's
new $1.2 billion stadium.

"Owning the 'Yankees suck' property is the best thing that ever happened to
this organization," Cashman said. "CC Sabathia and Mark Teixeira were both
signed with 'Yankees suck' money. And people who said 'Yankees suck' over the
course of our 2000 World Series run helped foot the bill for executive
bonuses and the organization's annual Christmas party. To be honest, I
actually can't remember the last time we had to dip into our funds from
merchandising, broadcast rights, or ticket sales."

Cashman said "Yankees suck" was a year-round moneymaker for the organization,
providing an endless revenue stream that stems not only from chants during
the regular season and playoffs, but also from offhanded remarks made during
casual conversations among friends, and from people yelling the phrase at
public events that have nothing to do with the Yankees.

"Every wedding season we earn a few million dollars from people who shout our
trademarked 'Yankees suck' chants during their receptions," Cashman added.
"That's the equivalent of a decent bat in the DH spot or a high-quality
reliever."

The organization also has reason to be optimistic about the future of
"Yankees suck" revenue: Accountants project that, as the Internet and cable
television bring the team into millions more homes across the globe, there
could soon come a time when the Yankees are told they suck three times a
second on every continent.

"Interactive media is the next wave," Cashman said. "With our upcoming mobile
phone apps and web integration, we'll soon be able to charge millions more
people for using 'Yankees suck' in the privacy of their daily lives."
When asked why the team would reveal to the public how much it earns from
various anti-Yankee cheers, team sources said there is actually more money to
be made from people knowing about their strategy.

"We are banking on the fact that this will make everyone detest the Yankees
even more, which would be a real windfall for us," said co-owner Hank
Steinbrenner, smirking broadly. "In the end, we just want to say one thing to
those who have openly expressed their hatred for this organization over the
years: Thank you."

Thus far, his prediction is proving correct, as very few people have shown an
ability to muzzle their feelings for the Yankees.

"Fuck the Yankees," said Boston resident and Red Sox season-ticket holder
George Donaldson, who in the last month has lost the funds necessary to buy
groceries and pay his mortgage while the Yankees earned the money they will
need to lure Jason Bay away from the Red Sox and bring in high-caliber
starting pitchers Cliff Lee and Roy Halladay. "Fuck them right in the ass."

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◆ From: 61.231.195.46
推 Sechslee:XDDDD
※ 編輯: ninini          來自: 61.231.195.46        (11/17 16:12)
推 freesoul:這篇應該是唬爛的，第一小老闆跟Cashman不會無聊跑來講這
→ freesoul:種東西，再來裡面提到的數字也太誇張了，最後US patent &
→ freesoul:trademark office的資料庫裡沒有yankees suck被登記成
→ freesoul:trademark的紀錄 http://tess2.uspto.gov/
→ ninini:對啊 出處是theonion!!
推 freesoul:是啊，只是怕有人真的相信了...
→ ninini:嗯嗯 謝謝你補充
推 siliver:台媒會不會拿來改成新聞@@?
推 Yeeeha:可惜你們這麼快就破梗，大概不會有新聞了
推 giwdul3883:記者要抄翻譯好得吧
推 xyzzz:破梗照抄啊，標題在打個？就好，反正現在記者都不用求證的
→ sneak       : 破梗照抄啊，標題在打個 http://yofuk.com