[情報] You can do better(11) Spurs Coyote

[ParkerWind (帕克瘋~)]

You Can Do Better, Spurs Coyote

By DrumsInTheDeep on Oct 29, 9:05pm

外電網址: http://ppt.cc/3wvy

In the actual final installment of this series, Drums discusses how the
mascot is not exempt from blame for last season's meltdown.

我們的”You can do better”系列終於到了尾聲了，我們來討論一下馬刺的吉祥物跟上
季的失敗有沒有關係吧!

As an addendum (Epilogue? Follow-up? Whatever) to J. Gomez's otstanding You
Can Do Better series, here's the hard-hitting critique you've been clamoring
for, of the oft-forgotten member of the team: the Spurs Coyote.

在J.Gomez(編者)超棒的You can do better系列中，這一篇將要討論一個大家都常忽略的
成員:馬刺的Coyote

It makes sense that Gomez would forget him -- the guy doesn't say a word.
Ever. Kawhi could learn something from the Coyote.

Gomez忘了他是很正常的，因為Coyote不會說話。他比Kawhi Leonard還安靜XD

Now, wait. I know what some of you may be thinking, "How dare you criticize
the Spurs Coyote? He's the best doggone mascot in the NBA, and possibly in
all of sport!" First, you're wrong, because he's not. I have a soft spot for
the Phillie Phanatic, because he reminds me of the mating rituals of the
planet Koozebane. But more importantly, even if I'm wrong, and the Coyote IS
the best, it does not mean he's not overrated and does not bear some
responsibility for ending our playoff hopes last season...just like everybody
else.

等等，我知道有些人想著:你誰啊?竟敢批評馬刺的吉祥物Coyote! Coyote是NBA最棒的吉
祥物，甚至說是所有的體育賽事也不為過。但你錯了，因為他並不是。Phillie 
Phanatic (http://ppt.cc/vg1P )還比較接近，因為他總會讓我想到planet Koozebane 
(http://youtu.be/vbXzpoH6m2c )更重要的是，就算我錯了，而Coyote的確是最棒的，也
不代表他上季季後賽的失利他不用負責任喔……

So here, as much as it pains me, are some unsolicited tips for the SC to
raise his game this upcoming season:

所以，我必須用心良苦地提出能讓Coyote改進的地方。

1. Increased Musicality
I don't want to start by bagging on the sound team (though I think we can all
agree that Bon Jovi never needs to be heard again at the AT&T Center), so let
me first address how the Coyote can better play the hand he has been given.
It is common practice for the SC to rush out to the court during timeouts and
clap along to every overplayed rock/dubstep song coming over the speakers,
but I want him to take a more active role in the in-arena musical
entertainment. Instruments I want the Coyote to play include: upright bass,
baby grand piano, saxophone, tam-tam, glockenspiel, viola, bagpipes, sitar.
All of which will be better than Bon Jovi.
This can translate to dance, as well. Maybe something like this.

1.增加音樂性
我也不想要一支很吵的隊伍(儘管我覺得大家也會同意邦喬飛來AT&T center演唱) 所以讓
我把重點放在Coyote的手，他平時會在暫停時跟著節奏拍手，但我認為他應該更活潑，在
舞台上增加音樂娛樂。我希望他可以演奏直立貝斯、小型平台鋼琴、薩克斯風、銅鑼、鐵
琴、小提琴、風笛、西塔琴，會了這些就比邦喬飛棒了!
舞蹈方面可以向這個學習:  http://youtu.be/jo4tyxXymgc

2. Upgraded Technology
Seriously. Trampolines and paper signs are SO 1990; the Coyote needs 21st
century flash to stay ahead of the game. The fact that he can only move
around the arena by walking/riding means that he can only interact with a
small group of fans at a time. Teleportation has actually been around since
the 1890s, so I don't think it is too much to ask for him to quickly appear
at different points around the AT&T Center.
Other possibilities: laser fields (to dance through!), appearing in our minds
via thought transmitters, and a TARDIS.
By the way -- we're still doing t-shirt cannons? Come on Coyote, get out of
that rut! A silo of t-shirt ICBMs are all that stand between you and legend.

2.改善科技
Coyote的形象已經是90年代的了，他需要21世紀的新造型!他的移動只能靠走路或騎腳踏
車表示他只能跟一小部分的觀眾互動，1890年代的時候就已經有”瞬間移動”的存在了(
請看影片 http://youtu.be/EpU93XJic7M 節錄自電影”頂尖對決”)，所以要他在AT&T 
center做到應該不難。
其他可能:雷射場(http://youtu.be/mr834Cs9ncs )  超時空博士的TARDIS 
(http://youtu.be/lAuc9DUaUdM )
順帶一提，Coyote你別鬧了，還在穿著T恤拿著大砲嗎?換個洲際彈道飛彈的吧! 
這才能象徵你和傳奇。

3. Bigger Stunts
When the Utah Jazz mascot -- who does his thing for a team no one cares about
-- is putting you to shame, changes need to be made. And I'm not just talking
about needing more explosions (though more explosions are a must), but having
larger and more creative stunts than are in the current rotation.
Since people love tying things into the pop culture zeitgeist (and by people,
I mean me), the Coyote can look ahead to the slate of upcoming films this
winter. Perhaps build a giant barricade in the center of the court and defend
it against the forces of Team Energy (our French players will love it), while
singing operatic ballads? Or crash a helicopter into the Fan Zone and descend
from it via parachute (with the Queen of England, if available?) Or (and this
is definitely my best idea; Peter Holt, you're welcome) flood the arena at
halftime, and reenact history's great naval battles. Hey, it worked for
ancient Rome, and look at how strong they still are today!

3.更大的特技:
爵士隊的吉祥物讓你不得不注意他( http://youtu.be/lmDEyGA8kK8 )，而我要說的不只
是需要更多的爆炸性演出(儘管爆炸是必要的)，但做出更多特技是現在的潮流。
因為人們喜歡把所有的事情和流行文化綁在一起，Coyote可以先去看看這個冬天哪部電影
要上映。也許在球場上蓋個路障是個不錯的主意(我們的法國朋友會很愛)，一邊唱著歌劇
民謠。或是開著直升機進來，再跟英國女皇(如果可以的話)一起用降落傘垂直下降，或是
(這是個超棒的主意)在中場休息時水淹球場，重演歷史上最偉大的海戰，嘿!我們現在還
可以看到古羅馬的英勇耶!多棒!

4. Diversified Wardrobe
Hey Coyote --you've been called out nationally. Put on some pants; you're
making me uncomfortable.
Maybe you guys think I am being too harsh on our beloved mascot; after all,
he is just a mascot. He doesn't score points or grab rebounds or win games.
However, he does score points in the hearts, minds, and souls of Spurs fans,
which is important, even if he is the only one competing and therefore
guaranteed victory.
Also, I have been to a medium number of Spurs games in my life, and I have
never -- not once! -- won a free thing. Not from one of the Coyote's cannons,
not descended from the catwalks, not a raffle, not from anything. And that,
above everything else, is his biggest weakness. You can do better, Spurs
Coyote. Notice me. NOTICE ME!

4.多元的衣櫃:
嘿~Coyote!穿上褲子吧!你讓我感到不舒服。
也許你們覺得我對大家心愛的吉祥物太苛薄了，畢竟他只是吉祥物。他不需要得分或抓籃
板或贏得比賽。然而，他有得分啊!在刺迷的心中、在刺迷的懷裡、在刺迷的靈魂裡，這
是非常重要的。
馬刺的比賽已經是我生活的一部份，Coyote你可以更好，只要多注意到我!多注意到我啊!

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◆ From: 111.253.251.223
※ 編輯: ParkerWind      來自: 111.253.251.223      (11/02 22:18)
推 magicchen:連吉祥物都有!GOOD!!!
推 a88019:為什麼我覺得這篇是來搞笑的XDDDDDDDDDDD
推 petand86:其實刺迷也可以do better唷!!!
→ tth81222:越來越搞笑了  可惜他說進入尾聲了...
推 AquariusTACO:XDDDDDD這篇太好笑了
推 soaringfish:Bon Jovi那邊是指不用再在AT&T Center聽到他了吧 xd
推 pashin:You Can Do Better, Spurs Coyote    BB......BB.....BB
推 avrilrock:WTF XDDDDD
推 ando:我喜歡這個 本系列最推薦XDD
推 ALegmontnick:大概波妞也要督貝特開始就忍不住想笑了Orz
推 aeCynzia:作者終於寫到瘋掉了 XDDDD
推 jan58912:哈哈哈Coyote！看到標題大笑哈哈xdd
推 victor16:You can do better (12) Spurs cheer leader.