作者a88019 (Norkese)
看板Spurs
標題Fw: [外絮] Text Messages to Pop
時間Sun Sep 22 17:10:54 2013
※ [本文轉錄自 NBA 看板 #1IFgKtWN ]
作者: lollygagger (chivalry's alive) 看板: NBA
標題: [外絮] Text Messages to Pop
時間: Sun Sep 22 16:07:15 2013
Text Messages to Gregg Popovich From a Spurs Fan: A Shark Ate All the Babies
一個馬刺迷與 Pop 的簡訊閒聊: 大白鯊吃掉我所有小孩
By Shea Serrano (波士頓體育寫手，作品散見於 XXL, MTV, Vice, Complex等雜誌)
on September 19, 2013 3:00 PM ET
Gregg Popovich is a human with a cell phone, so I sent him some text messages.
Gregg Popovich 此人有手機，故我閒來給他捎了個簡訊問侯...
Me: Pop-a-doc!
Pop: oh no
Me: oh come now. I’ve not talked to you in so long.
Pop: not an accident
Me: you didn’t miss just a tiny amount? Not even thismuch
Pop: I did.
Me: : )
Pop: I missed you like how a stab victim misses being stabbed
Me: that’s not that nice of you to say
Pop: Sorry. I actually did think about you though
Me: YOU DID!
Pop: Yes. I was reminded of you.
Me: OH MY GOD I KNEW IT I KNEW IT BEHIND THAT COFFEE CAKE STONE FACE IS A
BEAUTIFUL HUMAN
Pop: I was at the grocery store and I saw a dirty fat hobo and so then I was
like, “I wonder what Shea is up to?”
Me: :/
Pop: I was getting out of my car and I slammed the door on my hand and so
then I was like, “I wonder what Shea is up to?”
Me: dude
Pop: I was shooting around at practice one day and I jumped and then came
down and severely sprained both my ankles at the same time and so then I was
like, “I wonder what Shea is up to?”
Me: I GET IT OK I HAVE FEELINGS U KNOW
Pop: I was on vacation with my family and we were out boating and we hit a
wave and everyone fell out of the boat and drowned except for me and as I lay
there crying a great white shark came and ate the limbs off all the babies
and so then I was like, “I wonder what Shea is up?”
[No response.]
Pop: thanks for checking on me
我：帕ㄆ博士!
Pop：噢不
我：幹麻醬，好久沒跟你聊天了
Pop：這不是意外啊
我：你敢說你沒有一點點想我? 不用多，一咪咪有吧?
Pop：我想啊
我： : )
Pop：像被捅一刀的人懷念被捅的滋味，那樣的想你
我：講話有必要醬難聽嗎
Pop：抱歉，其實偶爾我是會想起你
我：真的！
Pop：在一些特別的情境下，我就會賭物思人想到你
我：天哪真的嗎嗎我知道我就知道你這個愛結死臉的可人兒！！！
Pop：那天我在雜貨店看到的一個又胖又髒的流浪工人(hobo)，於是我想：
「不知道 Shea 現在在幹麻？」
我： :/
Pop：我下車關門，不小心夾到手痛得要死，這時我就想到了，「不知道 Shea 在幹
嘛？」
我：老兄
Pop：有天練投，我一跳之下，我兩個腳踝同時扭傷，還扭得不輕，於是我想「不曉得
Shea 在幹啥？」
我：夠了我懂了你醬講很傷人你知道
Pop：我跟家人出海渡假，結果遇到一個大浪，除了我家人都被打下船，在海裏快溺死
了，我正大哭時，一條大白鯊血盆大口一張把孩子們的四肢都給咬斷了，這時我不禁
想，「不知道 Shea 在幹啥呢？」
[沒有回應]
Pop：謝謝你問侯啊
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pop: I watched this documentary on genocide and so then I was like, “I
wonder what Shea is up to?”
Pop: I can do this all day.
Me: please stop
Pop：我在看種族大屠殺的記錄片，慘不忍賭的情景中我想到了，「不知 Shea 最近
在幹嘛？」
Pop：我可以醬玩一整天
我：拜託不要
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Me: pop, but so I saw you in the news, is why I messaged you
Pop: what about now?
Me: I saw the thing about you boxing or something as part of basketball
training or something
Pop: “or something”?
Me: ?
Pop: you’re not very good at this
Me: come on, man
Me: this is a picture I drew of you : (
Pop: yeah, we were boxing
Me: the story mentioned how even that couldn’t make you not think about game
six
Pop: okay
Me: did you cry after game six?
Pop: did I what?
Me: cry.
Pop: no
Me: I cried.
Pop: you breathed
Me: ?
Pop: jesus. saying you cried is like saying you breathed because you always
do it all day everyday of your whole life
Me: I don’t know that that’s fair
Pop: can I ask you a question?
Me: sure
Pop: are you crying right now? Did what I just say make you cry?
[No response.]
Pop: see?
Me: THAT’S NOT THE POINT, POP
Pop: are there times when you don’t cry?
Me: this conversation has not been that much fun for me
Pop: I was sitting at a table drinking wine and relaxing and then this crow
with rabies swooped down from a tree and pecked my eyeballs out and then the
crow started talking loudly and it wasn’t just talking loudly that was
[Page 2]
the problem the rabies crow was also using a bunch of anti-Semitic slurs and
disturbing everyone around it and then he started coughing syphilis all over
everybody and so then I was like, “I wonder what Shea is up to?”
Me: ok thanks bye ok
我：Pop, 我是看新聞提到你啦，所以才密你
Pop：我現在有什麼新聞？
我：說你練拳還什麼的，當作籃球訓練的一部份之類的
Pop：「之類的」？
我：?
Pop：講話用詞還真精煉
我：不要這樣
我：我為你畫了張像 : (
Pop：對啊，我們是有練拳
我：報導還說練拳也沒辦法讓你忘懷第六戰的事
Pop：嗯哼
我：那次打完你有哭嗎
Pop：有怎樣？
我：哭。你有沒有哭？
Pop：沒有
我：我哭了
Pop：你有呼吸心跳嗎
我：？
Pop：拜託，講你哭了就好像講說你有呼吸心跳一樣，因為你這輩子每一天都有呼吸心跳
我：我在跟你搏感情耶，你這樣公平嗎
Pop：我能問你一件事嗎？
我：請問
Pop：你現在有哭嗎？我剛才講的有沒有把你弄哭？
[沒有回應]
Pop：你看吧
我：這-不-是-我-的-重-點，Pop
Pop：你有不哭的時侯嗎
我：這對話實在太難玩了
Pop：我在桌邊自斟自飲，自得其樂，忽然一隻有狂犬病的烏鴉從樹上衝下來，把我
的眼球給啄開花，接著還尖聲大叫，這還不打緊，問題是他叫的都是些反猶太人的
混話，煩得大家不可開交，還開始把梅毒咳得到處都是...於是我就想，「不知道
Shea 現在在幹嘛呢？」
我：噢謝了拜
--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 61.60.2.178
※ 編輯: lollygagger 來自: 61.60.2.178 (09/22 16:08)
推 going80012 :訊息已讀 09/22 16:10
→ going80012 :五樓看完射惹 09/22 16:11
推 fr0ztbLu3 :這啥… 09/22 16:29
推 jcto04 :這...XDD 09/22 16:31
→ tliu223 :好幼稚啦XDD 09/22 16:32
推 jerrys0580 :垃圾話高手明明就是POPO XDDDDD 09/22 16:37
推 skymay :XDDD 09/22 16:38
推 suiting :請問有來源嗎 09/22 16:41
抱歉忘了貼，
http://0rz.tw/lXFzT
推 supersax :...我居然看完了= ="....騙人進來的文章 09/22 16:42
※ 編輯: lollygagger 來自: 61.60.2.178 (09/22 16:45)
推 k870357 :XDDD 09/22 16:50
推 moonshen :跟這人講話好累 XDDDDDDDDDDDDD 09/22 16:55
推 maydayholic :超哭XDDDDDD 09/22 17:07
推 a88019 :借轉XD 09/22 17:10
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
※ 轉錄者: a88019 (61.227.10.69), 時間: 09/22/2013 17:10:54
推 anj71:不知道該說Pop有才還是靠杯.... 09/22 22:04
推 vennirter:笑翻XDDDDD 這實在是太哭邀了XDDDDDD 09/23 01:59
推 TimDuncan21:嘴角失守XD 09/23 12:41
推 HaluY:超靠杯XDDD 09/23 19:42
推 mindd:翻的好耶 笑死我了 09/24 14:53
推 V6WOLF:垃圾話大王耶 09/24 15:42
推 enpunto:好強 XDD 09/25 22:19
推 YoungG:POP真會臉消威 09/29 10:07