Fw: [閒聊] 復仇者生活公約

[TX55 (金屬齒輪)]

大概是局長一直發函發到火了

乾脆訂出公約 XD

順便把我個人覺得好笑的上個色w

- - - -

http://capkink.livejournal.com/810.html?thread=990506#t990506
 http://www.plurk.com/p/epmz5j
  http://paste.plurk.com/show/754391/

Anverges List 復仇者生活公約

1) Teammates are not to be used for target practice. Even if they did, say,
put embarrassing footage of you on the internet.

隊友不可以用來練習射擊，即使他們真的，唉，把你的糗事放到網路上


2) We are not to hack into laptops, private servers, public servers, security
footage, or any database to find blackmail material that would lead to the
first ^. Even if it was “way too easy.”

不可以為了寫黑函，而駭進任何筆電，私人伺服器，公家伺服器，安全監視系統或資料庫
，即使駭進去”簡單到不行”


3) We do not trick Steve into thinking that technology is watching him.

不可以騙史帝夫說現代科技無時不刻都在監視他


4) Except in Tony’s house where it most definitely is.

除非在東尼家，因為通常確實是真的


5) Appliances are not to be turned into robots because “someone” was bored.

不可以因為無聊就把家電改裝成機器人


6) We do not get Bruce to Hulk-out to make mundane tasks easier.

不可以因為想把普通任務搞得簡單一點就把布魯斯弄成浩克化


7) Sweeping broken appliances or antiques under the mansion rugs does not
count as cleaning up after a supervillain attack.

把毀壞的家電和古董掃到復仇者大宅的地毯底下，不算有做到歹徒來攻擊以後的大掃除


8) We do not set-up our teammates with supervillains in elaborate matchmaking
schemes.

不可以用天衣無縫的計畫來陰謀陷害隊友和歹徒配成一對


9) The SHIELD secure lines are not for prank calling Dr. Doom, the Mandarin,
Red Skull, or any other supervillain.

不可以用神盾局的安全聯絡頻道惡作劇的打給末日博士，滿大人，或是紅骷髏


10) Nor are they for phone sex.

也不可以用在電話性愛上
(這是針對東尼嗎？ XD)


11) “Sex Pollen” is not to be used an excuse to go at it in public.

“被下咒了”不是個可以在公眾場合撲倒別人的藉口


12) A certain billionaire genius is not to try to copyright the names “
Captain America,” “Steve Rogers,” or “The Star-Spangled Man” just
because he wants the world to know that “he owns that ass.”

某個有錢的天才不可以因為想向世人宣告所有權而去想去取得”美國隊長”、”史帝夫羅
傑斯”、”如星星般閃耀的男人”等三個名字的版權


13) Tony is not a flashlight, nightlight, lamp, or strobe light.

東尼不是手電筒、夜燈或警燈


14) We do not try to strap him to the ceiling as a conversation piece at
parties.

不可以想要把他綁在天花板上當派對的裝飾


15) Coffee is not a substitute for meals.

咖啡不可當代餐


16) Even if he’s being bitchy, we are not allowed to replace Tony’s coffee
with motor oil.

就算他脾氣一直很差，也不允許把東尼的咖啡換成機油


17) Debriefings are not team orgies. Do not tell lower ranking officers or
the media that they are.

簡報會議不是復仇者狂歡派對，不可以對低階軍官或媒體說這種話


18) We are not allowed to get the Hulk drunk to see if he can out drink Thor.

不可以把浩克灌醉來看看他是不是能喝贏索爾


19) Thor is not a pretty princess even if he does have luscious locks of hair.

索爾不是漂亮的公主，就算他那頭長髮真的很閃亮


20) Asgardian mead is not a general anesthetic.

阿斯加德蜂蜜酒不是常備麻醉藥
(針對索爾？ 還是大家都拿去喝？XD)

21) Paparazzi putting you on the spot is not a viable reason to break cover
on a secret identity.

狗仔隊的閃光燈不是從祕密身份出櫃這種行為的合理藉口


22) Bringing Steve to a rave is not introducing him to the future.

把史帝夫帶去狂歡不是讓他融入未來世界的行為


23) Despite the fact that the Iron Man suit is made of metal, Tony is not to
tell people that he has buns of steel or to bite his shiny metal ass.

就算鋼鐵裝實際上是金屬做的，東尼也不可以說他有鋼鐵翹臀或叫人來咬咬他的金屬屁股
看看


24) “Honest” curiosity is not to be used to get a teammate to pull down
their pants and show you if they are blond/red/brunette/green all over.

真的，好奇心不可以用在叫隊友脫掉他們的褲子好讓你看看他是不是渾身上下真的都是金
色的/紅色的/健康的深咖啡色的


25) Don’t tell people that Nick Fury winked at them just because you can
only see the one eye blinking.

不可以因為只看得見尼克佛瑞在眨他的那隻眼睛就跟人說他正在對大家拋媚眼


26) Nick Fury is not a pirate. Do not ask him about his booty.

尼克福瑞不是海盜，不要問他什麼有關寶藏的事


27) We are not allowed to refer to Winter Soldier as “Bucky the vampire
slayer”

不允許用”吸血鬼獵人巴奇”來形容冬日士兵


28) SHIELD flying cars are not for racing the Iron Man suit.

神盾局的飛行車不是用來跟鋼鐵人比賽的


29) We do not send Thor and Steve false mission briefings to convince them
that they are too sexy for their shirts.

不可以寄假的任務通知給索爾和史帝夫，還騙他們脫掉衣服比較性感（備註）


30) We also do not try to convince them to strut their stuff on a catwalk.

不可以想去騙他們上伸展台表演一下


31) Even if he is trying to get back into art, Steve is not to convince
everyone to strip for nude studies.

就算想重回藝術的懷抱，史帝夫也不可以遊說別人脫光衣服當他的模特兒


32) Teammates are not to be referred to as “Natasha’s bitches” in formal
reports.

不可以在正式的報告上以”娜塔莎的後宮”取代隊友這個詞


33) Walking with Steve is not the same as community service with the elderly.

陪史帝夫散步不是社區老人服務


34) We are not allowed to stage supervillain attacks to fulfill elaborate
role play fantasies.

不允許用歹徒的攻擊來完成精心的角色扮演劇本


35) Do not call Nick Fury to propose an Avengers theme song in the middle of
the night.

不可以三更半夜打電話給尼克佛瑞叫他想出復仇者的主題曲


備註：我性感到不行 I am too sexy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flH67ywGaBU
整首歌都在唱”對我的衣服來講我實在太性感了’、”對我的車來講我還是太性感了”、
”我是個天生的模特兒，在伸展台上小小的轉個身就行了”

- - - -

話說這應該是電影版的

但不知道為何會混入Bucky、Doom、滿大人 XD

--
「東尼是很Nice的！」

證人Ａ：若不是當初東尼邀我參加註冊派，我家阿嬸也不會被仇家開槍，這樣我和我太太
        的婚姻就不會消失，換來我好友的復活與一票的後宮。
證人Ｂ：因為東尼，我才能夠復活沒多久就變成主角。
證人Ｃ：東尼讓我當了一晚的CAP。

--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 111.251.145.107
→ biglafu:除非在東尼家，因為通常確實是真的XDDDDD
→ TX55:那句話應該是灰色地帶 腐不腐就看人怎麼解釋了wwwwwww
→ rkl3329:第15點....xd
推 AWainwright:好笑推XD
推 jagotti:復仇者電影版最近消息好少阿!!
推 mimily0504:有一半的公約都是針對隊長和東尼嗎？...
推 biglafu:                                 夫妻條款
→ TX55:夫妻條款XDDDD
→ TX55:Bucky the vampireslayer XDDD
推 jsefk0819:這太蠢了XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
推 qn123456:第五條請參見板上5619篇XDD
推 alljerry04:3 4 XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
推 alljerry04:不行 這篇太好笑了XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
推 diru:XDDDDDDDDDDDD
推 jjimmy:28條是針對BUFFY the Vampire slayer
推 suckmanisme:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
推 masayo:腐仇組生活公約才對吧!XD
推 bronzkof:陪史帝夫散步不是社區老人服務XDDD
推 zerg999:Natasha’s bitches......GJ
推 efreet:Tony中好多槍XDDDDDDD
→ TX55:沒錯， Bu"ck"y Bu"ff"y XDDD
→ TX55:腐仇者XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
→ TX55:#1Bop00_C (5619) http://imgur.com/a/ed5EX XD
推 kimania:超好笑XDDDDDDDDD
推 comics0923:實在太病太歡樂了~笑得好難過XD謝謝分享
→ comics0923:不過陰謀陷害隊友和歹徒配成一對~一時想不出是誰??
推 fwf12:樓上...就Thor跟他弟...算吧?總覺得都是針對Tony...
推 fwf12:這個是同人啦~難怪那麼腐...XDDD
推 lukelin15:XDDDDDDDDDDD
推 skyhawkptt:這實在太歡樂惡搞也太令人捧腹大笑 XDDD
推 camouflage10:感覺復仇者是一群中二組成,根本是小朋友的班規嘛XDDD
推 biglafu:小朋友沒那麼腐...
推 orcadan:結論 cap跟thor通常扮演被視姦意淫的角色
推 deepbluedj:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
推 Delusion:12條"he owns that ass"實在是太腐了 XDDD
推 gaviann:Good Job!!
推 Delusion:我真的很想知道Tony X Cap這對官配到底是從哪來的...
推 masayo:其實是Cap X Tony 來源嘛...Marvel官方(無誤)
推 qn123456:既然都說是官配了，當然是官方XDDDDD
推 sunny1991225:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
推 Yenchin:好多惡作劇聽起來像彼得會做的事情 XDXDXDXDXDXDXD
推 sakurajy:http://0rz.tw/tc6PG 這串隨便挑就知來源
→ comics0923:回fwf12..我覺他們已經不用陰謀,早就是一對了吧XD(誤
→ biglafu:樓樓上XDDDDD
※ 編輯: TX55            來自: 111.240.240.239      (11/17 21:30)
推 tonykuo:最後一條是怎樣XD 誰會去投稿啊XD