[雜問] 我的翻譯到底出什麼問題?

[pottman (pot)]

我給個例子:

原文: You can define an unlimited number of cllection elements for attributes
such as defect, diposition, severity, cause, pass/fail results, or for vari-
ables sucj as voltage, resistance, temperature, or acidity.

我的譯文:你可以無限數定義出像是不良率、配置、嚴重性、原因及通過率這些屬性，或是像伏特數
、電阻或酸度這些變數的組合元素。

原文: Unstructured data may have no schema at all (such as a piece of encrypted
data) or may be a large amount of binary data (many MBs or even GBs) which
may seem to have no schema but in reality has a very simple schema inherent
to it, such as image files, streaming video, or sound clips.

我的譯文:非結構性數據是沒有關係模式(像是一則加密資料)，或像是一則龐大資料(許多MB或GB)，
看起來沒有關係模式，但事實上有一個簡單的關析模式在裡頭，像是圖檔、影音檔及音檔
。

請各位大人幫我
Please, I really need help with my problem. It could very well jeopardize my
chances in the translation business.

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推 luciferii:看來問題是要先練好英文閱讀...
→ pentimento:以第二句來說，may, at all 不見了。第二個 such as
→ pentimento:放錯了位置，所以修飾到不對的對象，因此中文看起來
→ pentimento:就怪了。而 many MBs 我們一般不會說「許多」吧！
→ pentimento:which 在原文裡是限定用法，但你譯文卻成了非限定，這
→ pentimento:樣使得整個意思都不對了。所以原po還是要再注意一下
→ pentimento:英語閱讀的精確。
→ ClairLi:對原文的理解要再加強喔...