[閒聊] 如果把一戰看做是酒吧打架

[Realthugz (巨根男孩)]

來源 http://i.imgur.com/5f4K3yH.jpg

Germany, Austria and Italy are standing together in the middle of a pub when
Serbia bumps into Austria and spills Austria's pint. Austria demands Serbia
buy it a complete new suit because there are splashes on its trouser leg.
Germany expresses its support for Austria's point of view. Britain recommends
that everyone calm down a bit.Serbia points out that it can't afford a whole
suit, but offers to pay for the cleaning of Austria's trousers.

德國、奧地利和義大利在酒吧中央一塊喝酒
塞爾維亞突然撞上奧地利 把奧地利的酒撞翻了
奧地利要求塞爾維亞賠他一套全新的西裝 因為褲腳有點沾到酒了
德國相當支持奧地利的做法
英國說大家請冷靜!
塞爾維亞說他賠不起全套西裝 但願意賠褲子乾洗的錢


Russia and Serbia look at Austria. Austria asks Serbia who it's looking at.
Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone. Austria inquires
as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so. Germany
appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is
sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene. Britain replies
that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany
too, and what is Germany going to do about it?

俄羅斯和塞爾維亞一起看著奧地利
奧地利說你們跨殺小?
俄羅斯說奧地利應該放過小老弟
奧地利問倒底是誰在背後挺俄羅斯
德國這時跟英國告狀說法國不知道一直在看三小
接下來希望英國別插手
英國就說法國愛看誰就看誰 我也一直在看你 你德國又能怎樣?

Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia
incapable of such action. Britain and France ask Germany whether it's looking
at Belgium. Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper.
When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.

德國告訴俄羅斯不要再瞄奧地利
否則會讓俄羅斯以後再也不能瞄任何人
英國法國又問德國是不是在瞄比利時
這時土耳其和德國跑到一個小角落講悄悄話
講完回來後 土耳其向大家釋出善意眼睛不敢亂瞄

Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France,
and punches Belgium. France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches
Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the
other. Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over.

德國捲起袖子 惡狠狠的看著法國 拳頭卻揮到比利時
英法趕緊揮拳打德國  這時奧地利又出拳打了俄羅斯
德國一手打英法 一手擋俄羅斯
俄羅斯用力向德國揮了一拳 沒打中還差點摔倒

Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it's on Britain's side,
but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria. Australia
punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings
because Britain made Australia do it. France gets thrown through a
plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets
thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes
up with a complete personality change.

日本從另一個包廂喊說支持英國 但也就留在原地沒過來
義大利倒是出乎大家意料出拳打了奧地利
澳洲加入戰局打了土耳其也被回敬一拳
土耳其對澳洲打他其實沒有太放在心上 因為他明白是英國叫澳洲打人
法國這時被打飛撞穿一個餐具玻璃櫥 清醒爬起來後繼續打
俄羅斯也被打飛撞破玻璃櫥 但腦子好像撞到趴呆了 清醒後整個人性情大變

Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses,
but Austria falls over anyway.Italy raises both fists in the air and
runs round the room chanting. America waits till Germany is about to fall
over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and
smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.

義大利對奧地利揮空一拳 奧地利不知怎麼了也還是倒了一地
義大利得意的舉起雙拳 興奮的在酒吧邊跑邊叫
美國終於等到德國被英法修理得快不行時
抓起吧檯椅K了下去 裝作是自己一人打贏的樣子

By now all the chairs are broken and the big mirror over the bar is shattered.
Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the
whole thing is Germany's fault. While Germany is still unconscious, they go
through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

現在呢 所有吧椅都壞了 那面大鏡子也破了
英國法國美國都一致認為德國開了第一槍
所以都是德國的錯
當德國還不醒人事的時候 他們搜了他的口袋
把錢包偷了 然後請朋友們大喝特喝


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推 qlz:好酸......
推 vklo:哈哈哈哈
推 Swashbuckler:然後奧地利就被肢解了
推 jimmy5680:不過搶了錢以後，他們還是破產了wwwww
推 wanters:另一個房間裡，一堆小孩原本聯手在搶病重的老中國的衣服和
→ wanters:配件，結果看到隔壁大人亂起來沒時間管他們就也跟著開始互
→ wanters:搶，混亂中不知道誰開了幾槍，還打到那個躺著的中國老人
推 dingoo:他們不知道德國被暗算不能忍   他是半澤   不是半澤爸
→ dingoo:拳王被業餘的暗算怎麼可能忍
→ dingoo:應該這樣說  超重量級拳王被其他量級拳王們聯手打倒並搜刮
推 kerry0496x:德國是超重量拳王  那後來的美國是
推 dingoo:美國拿槍   這不是一個等級的XD
→ kerry0496x:MMA重量級冠軍嗎XD(綜合格鬥)
→ dingoo:二戰處理方法才對   削弱並補助德國重建     一戰那叫亂來
推 wanters:美國是肥斗 一次大群架的時候他還在念國中XD
推 fetoyeh:一戰美國被扯進去的主要原因應該還是無限制潛艇戰吧?
→ fetoyeh:但我搞不懂德國幹麻煽動墨西哥打美國...
推 tony160079:牽制老美吧?加上老墨和老美的美墨戰爭帳還沒算
推 katana89:德國:桀桀桀~老子還要在打十個啦! (砰 老美從後面賞折凳)
推 Su22:中國呢?中國也是戰勝國耶,跟日本在同一包廂
推 kerry0496x:中國老酒鬼一個  戰力低
推 katana89:中國被壓在桌底當肉墊到大家都忘了他
→ katana89:等到下ㄧ場更大的架 其它人都被打趴後才爬出來
推 hodslance:二戰不就是兩大幫派互抄傢伙報一戰的仇嗎?
→ dingoo:中國是偷跑去酒館喝酒的小屁孩    現在武功練好藝成下山了
推 katana89:二戰是德國醒後 悲憤投身黑暗料理界(X 再用黑暗原力復仇
→ Realthugz:裡面神來一筆是俄羅斯十月革命(醒後性情大變)