看板 joke 關於我們 聯絡資訊
我來翻譯好了 = =" 恩... 翻譯不好就沒有辦法了... ※ 引述《FoBenJa (FoBenJa)》之銘言: : These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things : people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published : by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges : were actually taking place : ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? : WITNESS: No, I just lie there. 律師: 妳是否還有性行為... 目擊者: 沒有, 我只有躺著... : _______________________________ : ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? : WITNESS: July 18th. : ATTORNEY: What year? : WITNESS: Every year. 律師: 妳的生日是? 目擊者: 7月18號 律師: 哪一年? 目擊者: 每年... : _____________________________________ : ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment your car struck the other : vehicle? : WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. *這個翻譯成中文就沒有笑點...* : ______________________________________ : ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? : WITNESS: Yes. : ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? : WITNESS: I forget. : ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? 律師: 這個 myasthenian gravis 症狀, 對你的記憶有影響嗎? 目擊者: 有 律師: 對你的記憶有什麼影響? 目擊者: 我會忘記東西 律師: 妳會忘記? 那你能舉個例子 妳曾忘過什麼事情嗎? : _____________________________________ : ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? : WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. : ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? : WITNESS: Forty-five years. 律師: 妳兒子幾歲了? 跟你住一起的那個 目擊者: 38 還是 35... 我忘記了 律師: 他跟妳住多久了? 目擊者: 45年... : _____________________________________ : ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? : WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" : ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? : WITNESS: My name is Susan. 律師: 妳老公當天早上對妳說的第一件事情是什麼? 目擊者: 他說 "凱西, 我在哪裡?" 律師: 這為什麼讓你傷心? 目擊者: 我的名字是蘇珊... : ______________________________________ : ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, : he doesn't know about it until the next morning? : WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? 律師: 醫生, 當一個人在睡夢中死去, 他應該到隔天早上才會發覺他已經死亡了對吧? 目擊者: ... 妳真的有通過考試? : ____________________________________ : ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? : WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one. 律師: 最小的兒子, 那個20歲的, 請問他幾歲? 目擊者: ㄜ.... 他21歲... : ________________________________________ : ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? : WITNESS: Would you repeat the question? 律師: 當你被偷拍的時候, 妳人是否在場? 目擊者: 妳問什麼??? : ______________________________________ : ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? : WITNESS: Yes. : ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? : WITNESS: Duh............. 律師: 妳是在8月8號懷孕的? 目擊者: 對 律師: 那你在當天做了什麼? 目擊者: ㄟ.......... : ______________________________________ : ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? : WITNESS: Yes. : ATTORNEY: How many were boys? : WITNESS: None. : ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? 律師: 他有三個孩子對吧? 目擊者: 對 律師: 幾個是男生? 目擊者: 0 律師: 那有女生嗎? : ______________________________________ : ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? : WITNESS: By death. : ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? 律師: 妳第一個婚姻, 是怎麼結束的? 目擊者: 死亡 律師: 那是誰死了導致你的婚姻結束? : ______________________________________ : ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? : WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. : ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? 律師: 妳能描述那個人嗎? 目擊者: 他差不多XXX公分, 然後有留鬍子 律師: 這個人是男的還是女的? : ______________________________________ : ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition : notice which I sent to your attorney? : WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. 律師: 妳現在的穿著, 是你被法官罷免工作之後的穿著? 目擊者: 不是, 我工作一直都是這樣穿 : ______________________________________ : ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead : people? : WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. 律師: 醫生, 妳幾次驗屍, 是在驗死人? 目擊者: 我每次驗屍都在驗死人... : ______________________________________ : ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? : WITNESS: Oral. *翻譯出來怪怪的... 笑點不見 = =* : _____________________________________ : ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? : WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. : ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? : WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an : autopsy on him! 律師: 妳記得你是何時驗屍的嗎? 目擊者: 驗屍是8:30晚上開始的 律師: 那XXX在那時候已經死了? 目擊者: ...沒有, 他坐在解剖台上, 也不知道我為何在對她進行驗屍!!! : ____________________________________________ : ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? : WITNESS: Huh? 律師: 妳有驗尿的資格嗎? 目擊者: 蛤?? : ____________________________________________ : And the best for last: : ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a : pulse? : WITNESS: No. : ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? : WITNESS: No. : ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? : WITNESS: No. : ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you : began the autopsy? : WITNESS: No. : ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? : WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. : ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? : WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and : practicing law. 律師: 醫生, 妳驗屍之前是否有看她是否有脈搏? 目擊者: 沒有 律師: 妳是否有看她有沒有血壓? 目擊者: 沒有 律師: 妳是否有看她有沒有呼吸? 目擊者: 沒有 律師: 那當你在進行驗屍的時候, 那個人是否有還可能活著? 目擊者: 不可能 律師: 妳為何這麼肯定呢, 醫生? 目擊者: 因為那個人的腦袋已經放在我桌子上的瓶子裡了... 律師: 可是, 那個人是否還有可能是活著的? 目擊者: ... 對, 有可能活著, 而且還在當律師 = =" -- ※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 218.168.68.229
daniellee:推簽名黨 05/15 20:24
daniellee:推錯偏= = 05/15 20:24
Scorpio777:樓上有笑點 05/15 20:30
puregon:好笑沒op又用心 XD 05/15 20:31
threee:哇 真的都翻譯完了耶 05/15 20:32
Leeng:醫生那個bar exam 應該是所謂的跑台考試吧? 05/15 20:36
nrtuzumaki:為什麼我覺得好像是記者和受採訪的被害者的對話...? 05/15 20:37
zunreada:XD 05/15 20:39
Alip:XD 05/15 20:40
Leeng:所以這些目擊者當中只有醫生比較聰明就是了XD 05/15 20:39
BigZero:其實看最後一段的翻譯就可以了 05/15 20:41
shinyhaung:最後一句超腦殘XDDD 05/15 20:42
noonee:upset 翻成生氣應該比傷心好... 05/15 20:50
asdic0702:bar是律師業 05/15 20:50
timke:"所有的答案都必需是oral(指口述),你讀哪間學校?" "Oral" 05/15 20:51
mu178:bar exam是律師考試 但其實有些腦殘問題是要誘導證人上鉤的 05/15 21:05
mu178:因為當連腦殘問題都答錯 就代表證人說謊 05/15 21:07
featherable:原PO用心 律師專業 05/15 21:14
mu178:appearance那則好像是說 今早你到這裡出庭是根據我送給你律 05/15 21:19
mu178:師的訊問通知 出庭和穿著是同一個字 結果證人就那樣說啦 05/15 21:20
FoBenJa:喔喔, 樓上專業 XD 看來是我看錯 原本也覺得那個沒有爆點 05/15 21:28
kingzoo:推 he could have been alive and practicing law XD... 05/15 21:31
jw0311:最後一句為笑點所在XDDD 05/15 21:40
Ciline:美國人真的很愛消遣律師 XD 05/15 21:51
mstar: Witness 翻成「證人」或「鑑定人」似乎比較適當 05/15 21:56
dance4what:不錯啊..呆呆的 05/15 22:13
shi21:看到最後一段才覺得好笑 05/15 22:15
zivch:驗尿那個應該是 律:「你有被授予給尿液樣本的資格嗎?」 05/15 22:17
zivch:就像在說「你有尿尿的資格嗎」 05/15 22:17
FoBenJa:<-- 中文表達能力有待加強... orz 05/15 22:19
spark0409:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 05/15 22:28
asrser:大推 05/16 00:09
ttnkox:PUSH 05/16 00:55
chencw:推一樓XDDDDDDDDDDD 05/16 01:08
lorenzero:把它全部都換成女支者就變成檯彎版 05/16 01:18
enjoyloli:太偉大了~推一個 05/16 01:20
windinin:那個...我三年前在電台已經聽了廣東話版了../_\笑不出... 05/16 03:59
bisconect:mu178解了我疑惑 05/16 04:02
hahax52:推一個~感謝... 05/16 08:07
rinnight:大推最後一段XDDD整個好笑到不行 感謝翻譯者的用心:) 05/16 09:06
xtxml:Where am I不是應該翻"這是哪"嗎? 05/16 11:10
f575739:最後一段最好笑XDD 05/16 13:15
disjoint126:這樣的邏輯還能當律師也很妙了 05/16 19:12
supermen:好翻好笑~推 05/16 20:51
shuaihipo:一樓讓我來來回回看了3次= =....... 05/17 00:07
chocobit:異議あり!!!! 05/18 11:00
PIGTrue:原來最後一篇是這個意思... 05/18 12:37
studylance:大推 超好笑!! 05/20 11:59
FirstAngel:感謝翻譯 05/21 23:11