Re: [創作] The feast

[dale (冰城城主)]

I made an attempt to read your poem like below:
"Since the first debut I wonder"; "I wonder/how
luxuriant the feast"; "The feast to suffer";
"Suffer/no more"; "No more surging the luscious
wine"; "Luscious wine/but toxic"; and so forth.

Which gave interesting results, but I was unable
to continue when the commas appear toward the
end of the poem.

Anyway, lest I dissect the poem too barbarously:
why did you employ the commas at the end of the
poem?  (Or, from another perspective: why did you
abandon the punctuations at the beginning of the
poem?)

I'm convinced that you have a good, purposeful
reasoning in doing so, as your other poem employed
the same "flightly" grammatic feel.  ^_^

--
╭─────────────────────────╮
│"There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by    │
│scorn."  -- Albert Camus                          │
╰────────────◇ http://distract.org/ ◇╯

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◆ From: 218.166.85.206
※ 編輯: dale            來自: 218.166.85.206       (04/20 10:37)
推 dracularx:"Suffer" does not mean "no more", it means
→ dracularx:misery instead...