Re: [創作] midnight

[dale (他們叫我阿跌)]

推 spacedunce5:i'm thinking about a crescendo;
→ spacedunce5:the overall effect is supposed to
→ spacedunce5:be dreamlike and flowing, but i
→ spacedunce5:want a build-up, which i can't
→ spacedunce5:make happen
推 yuuyh:I think syntax also helps sometimes...
→ yuuyh:but then you might need to punctuate your
→ yuuyh:work and it might get less dream-like...
        I don't think punctuation and "the dream-like flow" are
        fundamentally antagonistic factors.  One work that I am
        particularly fond of recently is "Balakirev's dream" by
        Transtroemer, and it is well-punctuated and all dream.  Paul
        Muldoon, on the other hand, often has piles of words carried
        on without any punctuation save the full stop at the end of
        the very last stanza, but his work can be cold and stoic,
        certainly very undream-like.  William Carlos Williams's "The
        Red Wheelbarrow" is eight lines, no punctuation, and one of
        the best anti-dream-like (anti-like, too? I suppose) poems
        ever written.

        I gave it some thought: I think, as the level of punctuation
        decreases, it becomes increasingly eminent to pay attention
        to natural pauses, i.e., to coincide linebreaks with the
        natural rhythm of the language, otherwise the work suffers
        from weak linebreaks and confusing rhythm.  Employing a
        higher level of punctuation at this point dilutes the
        dependency of natural pauses, and in a sense, offers a
        higher degree of freedom (read: allowance for errors) in
        linebreaks and punctuation, but it is only a fix, not a
        cure.  The cure would still be to better observe the timings
        of natural pauses.


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