Associations with the wind translated from Cranejay's prose
When thinking of the wind, sorrow and happiness are just what I call to
mind. Why are these two opposite poles put together? It's because sorrow and
happiness is antithesis within two sides of an object, just as the palm and
back of hand. And the wind plays the role of transmitting information. He
perceives these two kinds of emotions simultaneously.
While I am sad, the wind exists; the wind also exists when I am cheerful.
He enjoys the joy and sadness of accompanying me, resembling the small fan at
my home which always caresses me softly in nomatter which season. In summer, he
cherrily lifts his head blowing me as he does; in winter he utters no words
with his drooping head as if he can comprehend my sorrows. Why I am sad is
owing to the taking away of the accumulated wintry happiness by summer after
the leave of winter. And summer is the season of perspiration; perspiration
represents weeping tears, but we shed tears through our bodies. After going
through the season of the north wind's reminding days, we begin to shed tears
through our bodies.
I still reminisce that winter when the world is not friendly anymore, and
the everyday becomes ruthless. I incurred a disease; its scientific name is
paranoia. The wind blew fiercely as though people's ceaseless sneer. I began
to suspect that everyone on the street, even the whole world, jeered at me;
therefore, I got bogged down in the swirl of the destined course of its
sickness. I began to be incapable of eating meals, speaking, and expressing my
agony. In the hospital, there was no wind but only an air-conditioning system;
The space lapsed into a kind of coldness of getting lost in meditations. I
kept a diary desperately and perspired desperately; the space was as if being
urged by my precipitance and had no choice but to perspire.
But it was also just at that time when I realized what the greatest bliss
is; I realized friends' concern, parents' grief, and medical professionals'
meticulous care.
Summer came. All things were changed to be different, and people around
me urged me to become a student. I put on my clothes, carried backpack on my
back, and was going to start to go to school! But before I was fully accustomed
to the uncomfortableness resulted from my disease, I had had to begin to write
school assignments, prepare exams, chat with classmates, ask teachers questions,
and so on. The result of my final grades came out; I failed in each subject,
and I was bewildered. During that period, it was so hard for me to endure.
Later on, I decided to suspend my schooling finally, and it resulted in my
fate now. I recall Zhuo Wen Xuan's song "The Long Sleeves", singing "The long
sleeves, turning over in the wind, / As if the surging wind and scudding cloud
in mind..." The omnipresent and recurring wind implicitly signifies the
beautiful artistic prospect of the metempsychosis of the soul and that humans'
own aspiration and pursuit within its limitation defines themselves, as
expressed in this song. In the hospital, I have met many companions and seen
with my own eyes many of them died. During this course, so many unuttered words
and various feelings fill my mind; along with the wind, I have also more
profoundly comprehended the meaning of life.
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※ 編輯: Sangreal 來自: 124.8.77.66 (04/28 22:40)