[高中] 請大家幫我看一下這篇作文(學測題)

[ppeach (水貨)]

這是學生寫的作文(原文未修改) 覺得他寫的還不錯
我給他17分.....
..因為我覺得他的單字沒有用的很有程度 (學生是國三生 要考中級英檢)
我第二年帶寫作班 不是很清楚給分的落差
請其它老師多指教...(如果哪一部份有更好的寫法 請老師也寫一下囉)

         Cathy is fond of playing with cats. One day, she went to the park

playing with a strary cat. After playing for a while, Cathy made a decision

to take it home.However,she did not notice more and more cats follow her home

as well. As soon as reaching home, Cathy hurried to ask her mom if she could

keep the strary cat home. " Pets are fun, while they need plenty of care"said

Mom. "Not only will I feed it, but also I will take her a walk every day"

said Cathy.As a result,Mom agreed Cathy to keep it as a pet.

The next day, on arriving at home, Cathy found the living room in a mess.

Not only the strary cat but her fellows broke everything there, including

the sofa and the lamp. At the moment, Cathy regretted taking the cat home.

(146字)


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◆ From: 112.104.77.193
推 stu60912:17分很高耶  網路上可找找當年某篇拿滿分的範文
推 MerciDanke:我會給 13 或 14 分  單字和文法有一些錯誤
推 Necuta:11.12吧...17太高了!
→ ppeach:"文法部份"的錯誤可以指正一下嗎?? 謝謝...
→ Everlastings:第二行playing 第三行follow 對話的while用法有點怪
→ Everlastings:然後基本上沒有人會帶貓去散步吧.....|||||
→ Everlastings:然後記得句點後面要空一格 XD
→ Everlastings:agree的用法也有問題
→ Everlastings:這幾個是改鬆一點也會抓到的 再嚴一點就難說囉
→ Everlastings:我個人大概會給14分吧 看在倒裝句的分上 XD