→ pondera:deside? 09/26 21:39
上次有來請教老師們..批改作文的分數
我想請教的是..除了減少文法錯誤以外 要怎麼寫可以拿到15分以上阿...
老師方便指出"哪一段"或"哪一句"要如何改寫 會比較好嗎??
先謝謝大家了
On the night of last Sunday, Amy was at her home and prepaeing
for dinner. Her dog, Lucky, was waiting deside her quietly. A gorilla
ran in as Amy was cooking. She was so scared. Not only did she break the
dishes, but she also burst into tears right away. But Lucky didn't seem
to be scared of the gorilla and it still wanted to eat the food on the
ground. The gorilla was so terrible that Amy couldn't move. Meanwhile,
the gorilla took off its mask, taking out the flowers behind him. Amy
just realized that her boyfriend came for the proposal. Amy felt not only
surprised but touched. Therefore, she agreed with his proposal. Amy's
boyfriend topped off the surprise with a perfect ending.(學生原文)
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