[建議] 給好人們的作業

[INDI (litte)]

 This week I'm going to do something a little bit
unusual...

   First I'm going to ask you to consider something, then
I'm going to give you a little bit of homework.

   This week is all about ACTION!

   Here's the thing I want you to consider first:

   I was reading an article on AOL entitled "What's Wrong
With Nice Guys?". Here's a little quote from the article:

"...Do Women Date Naughty Guys but Marry Nice Ones?

This notion sounds an awful lot like the irritating
good-girl/bad-girl distinction that men continue to make.
Still, it does contain a nugget of sense. Since women truly
are conditioned to be "good girls," sometimes we feel
uncomfortable with or guilty about that pure burning "I must
have him!" feeling. That's why we sometimes seek out a bad
boy to serve as the object of these desires, says Cleveland
psychotherapist Belleruth Naparstek, creator of the Health
Journeys series of guided imagery tapes. "In order for the
deliciousness of pure lust to be 'okay,' it has to be for
the symbolic bad boy who has nothing to do with the rest of
your life. With him, you can crank up your animal impulses,
worry-free," she says...."


   Interesting, isn't it?

   Now, I personally disagree with the idea that women
"seek out" Bad Boys because they need somewhere to project
their guilty lust... and I disagree with the idea that
there's something "wrong" with the fact that women are
attracted to Bad Boys...

   But the point is that the "mainstream" psychology and
behavior world is starting to accept the idea that women
are ATTRACTED to "Bad Boys". It will probably be another
ten years before anyone with a degree puts two and two
together and says "Hey, maybe women feel ATTRACTION
for Bad Boys for natural, evolutionary reasons, and that's
why Bad Boys are considered "sexy"..."

   Hell, maybe I should say it... Oh, I already did.

   Whatever.

   Point is, there's something to the idea that woman
don't feel that powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for
"nice" guys who chase after them and kiss up to them.

   Women do, on the other hand, feel that magical
emotion called ATTRACTION for BAD BOYS.

   Of course, I don't believe that you MUST be a jerk,
or abuse women in order to make them feel attracted to
you. There's a much better way...



   Now, I want you to do something CONSCIOUSLY this
week.

   I want you to do the following with the next 5 women
that you talk to over the next few days... (these should
be women that you would be interested in dating):

1) Smile all the time.

2) Be very nice, cordial, and friendly. Use no sarcasm,
and don't tease.

3) Act as if you really "like" the woman you're talking
to... and as if you're "interested" in her.

4) Give her lots of compliments.

5) Optional: Politely say "You probably have a boyfriend,
right? Can I take you out sometime?"


   Pay careful attention, and notice how the women
respond to you.

   Now, I want you to try something different with the
NEXT 5 women you talk to...

1) Don't smile very often.

2) Pretend that you've known her for 20 years, and that
you're TOO comfortable around her. Tease her for
something that no one teases her about... like the way
she dresses, etc.

3) Pretend that she's interested in YOU, and has been
pursuing YOU, and that you're resisting her. Make jokes
about it and say things like "I just don't think things
are going to work out between us".

4) Give her NO compliments of any kind. If she gives you
any, say "That's a cheesy pick up line. Can't you think
of something more original?"

5) Optional: Say "Hey, do you have email? Good. Write it
down here..."


   ...and pay attention to the difference.

   If you really "play it up", you'll notice a HUGE
difference between the first five women you talk to and
the next five.

   During the first set of five, when you're being a
"Nice Wuss", you'll see the looks on the women's faces
that say "Oh, no. Another guy who "likes" me. How can I
get rid of him politely?..."

   During the SECOND set of five, you'll see the women
opening their mouths with the "half smile, half oh-no-
you-didn't-just-say-that look". You'll feel a TENSION
in the air. You'll notice that some of the women will
actually look at you as if they can't believe what
they're hearing.

   If you're particularly sharp and funny, you might
just have one or two of them say "I like you... we
have to hang out sometime" within the first few minutes
of the conversation. You will NEVER hear that when
you're playing the "Nice Wuss", by the way.

(SIDE NOTE: I went out with some friends last night,
and I was taking pictures of some of my friends...
when I overheard this girl talking to her friend. I
took what she and her friend were talking about, and
I teased her about it... and within no more than 60
seconds the girl was saying "Ohmygod, I like you! We
need to hang out sometime...". Really.)

   Do your homework! And have FUN while you're at it.




                 Written by David Deagelo




--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) 
◆ From: 211.79.43.218
→ halt:呼~還好還能看的懂，蠻不錯的XD
→ nako:how do i tease a girl? for example ?
→ shingi: 英文版的戀愛講座吧....
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <

作者: shingi (Crazy Love) 看板: Niceguyclub
標題: [建議] 給好人們的作業(翻譯版)
時間: Tue Feb 10 22:00:38 2004


這禮拜我要來點不同於往常的東西...

首先呢，我要你去想一些事，然後我要給你點作業。

這禮拜要談的全部都是有關於「行動」的事！

我要你先想想看下面這個：

我讀過一篇叫做《好人是哪裡不對勁了？》的文章，下面是文章裡的一小段引文：



「...女人都和壞男人約會，卻和好男人結婚？」

這種想法聽起來很像是男人對於好女人與壞女人之間所劃分的界線，而在這裡女人好壞

之間的差異也總是使得他們很火大。

不過，這句話還是帶有玄機的。女生因為得當個「乖女孩」，所以我們會對於自己那種

『我要定他了』的純純慾火而感到不妥，或是覺得有罪惡感。「這也就是我們為什麼要

找個壞男人來發洩這把慾火的原因。」身為克利夫蘭的心理治療師，以及「健康之旅」

中有關意境引導法一系列錄影帶的創作人Belleruth Naparstek如此表示。「為了要使

這種單純慾望的美妙滋味『說的過去』，就一定要找一個和妳生活中其他部分沒關係，

具有象徵性的壞的男人才行。和他在一起，妳就可以放縱那種野性的衝動了，什麼都不

用煩惱。」


很有趣，不是嗎？

首先，我個人並不贊同「女人是因為要將自己帶有罪惡感的情慾投射出去，才會『找上』

壞男人」的這種觀念，我也不同意「女人會被壞男人吸引，這就『有問題』」的那種觀

念。

但是重點是，「主流」的心理學與行為學界正開始接受那種「女人會被『壞男人』給吸

引」的觀念。可能又要等過了十年以後，拿到學位的人才會把二加上二，然後說「嘿，

也許女人會被壞男人給吸引，就是因為大自然演化的緣故，而這也就是為什麼她們會

覺得壞男人很『性感』的原因吧...」

哇咧，也許我該這麼說的.....噢，我有這麼說過。

管他那麼多。

重點是，女人從那種追著她們跑，拍她們馬屁的「好男人」那邊會感受不到超強大的吸

引力，這一定有它的道理所在。

女人啊，反而會從壞男人那邊感受到那種叫做「吸引力」的魔幻感覺。

當然啦，我才不信你一定要當個爛人，或是去虐待女人，才可以讓她們被你吸引住。一

定有更好的方法嘛...

現在，我要你這禮拜去做一些事情，而且要有意識地去做。

我要你對於你在往後幾天內所交談到的五個女人，做出下列的事(這些女人要是你有興趣

跟她們約會的女生才行...)：


(1) 總是面帶微笑。

(2) 對她們很好，友善，又有禮貌。不要挖苦諷刺她們，也不要訕笑她們。

(3) 表現出你好像真的很「喜歡」你正在和她說話的女生，彷彿你對她很有「興趣」似

　　的。

(4) 對她再三地恭維。

(5) 選擇性做法：對她有禮貌地說：「妳可能有男朋友了，對吧？我可以找時間跟妳出

　　去嗎？」

請你注意觀察，看看她們會有什麼反應。

現在，我要你對之後交談的五個女人，做出一點不一樣的事...


(1) 不要太常微笑

(2) 裝做你好像認識她二十年了，你在她身邊感覺實在是太自在了。笑她一些沒人笑過

　　她的事，比如說穿著還是什麼的...

(3) 裝出一副好像她對你很感興趣，而且一直在追求你的樣子，然後再裝的像是你要拒

　　絕她的模樣。請針對這點開她玩笑，接著說一些類似「我想我們之間沒啥可能」之

　　類的話。

(4) 不管是那一種的恭維都不要給。如果她在說你有些什麼好的地方，你就說：「那真

　　是老掉牙的台詞了...你可以想點有創意的嗎？」

(5) 選擇性做法：你可以說：「嘿，妳有E-mail嗎？很好，在這邊寫下來...」


然後注意看看有什麼不同的地方...

如果你真的有「貫徹」，那你就會發現前面五個女人和後面五個女人之間的「巨大」差

異。

在你執行第一套做法時，你在當好人，你會發現女人臉上寫著「喔，不會吧，又是個『

喜歡上』我的男人。我要怎麼甩掉他呢...？」的字樣。

在你執行第二套做法的時候，你會發現女人都半開著嘴，「有點笑笑的，又有點『你剛不

是那麼說的吧』的模樣。」你會發現空氣中帶有一種緊張的氣氛，你也會發現有一些女人

真的會盯著你看，一臉她們好像不敢相信自己聽到了什麼的樣子。

如果你這個人格外的犀利又搞笑，那些女人當中可能會有一兩個在雙方交談後短短幾秒鐘

的時間內，就說「我喜歡你...我們應該找個時間出去玩。」對了，如果你只是在當個「

沒種的好人」，你就永遠不會聽到這句話。



(附記：我昨晚和幾個朋友出去，然後我在幫幾個朋友照相...順便偷聽這個女生在講什

麼。我聽到了她所說的話，然後拿這個來嘲笑她，接著在不到六十秒的時間內，這個女

生就說：「喔天啊...我喜歡你！我們該找個時間出去玩的...」我沒蓋你啦。)



　　做你的作業！也希望這篇文章能讓你看的很有趣。

--

  How wonderful life is...

                     now you're in the world...

--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 218.184.108.18
※ 編輯: shingi          來自: 218.184.108.18       (02/10 22:02)
※ 編輯: shingi          來自: 218.184.108.18       (02/10 22:03)
→ Vassili242:我還是寧願當好人...
→ reich3:據我觀察，第二種態度對女人有致命吸引力
→ guitarguy:得不到，反而想要？！
→ sungchick:就這麼辦吧^^
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <

作者: ingmu (櫻木) 看板: Niceguyclub
標題: Re: [建議] 給好人們的建議-續
時間: Fri Feb 13 07:56:44 2004

※ 引述《INDI (litte)》之銘言：
: ◎MISTAKE 10: Not Getting HELP
:   This is the biggest mistake of all.
:   This is the mistake that keeps most men from
:   EVER having the kind of success with women that
:   they truly want.
:   I know, guys don't like to make themselves look
:   weak or helpless. We don't like to ask for help.
:   Hey, I've been there myself.
:   Let me tell you a little about me and how I
:   figured out how to be successful with women...
:   About five years ago I became fed up with the
:   fact that I didn't know how to approach, meet, and
:   get dates with women that I was attracted to.
:   It frustrated the hell out of me.
: ...
: ...
(後面還有啊)

One night I was out with a friend, and I saw a woman I wanted to
ask out, but I just couldn't get up the nerve to do it. I can still
remember that night... right on the spot I made the decision to do
whatever it took to learn how to be successful with women and dating.

Well, after a lot of hard work and trying all kinds of crazy things,
I finally figured it all out.

I can now approach just about any woman and get her number
almost instantly. I've dated models, I've dated actresses, and I've
dated nice, normal, regular girls as well.

It has been a very rewarding experience. I no longer feel that sick,
insecure feeling... like I don't know how to meet women... and I
might wind up alone.

I know that anytime, anywhere, I can go out and meet attractive women.

I've written a book on the topic, and I've done seminars on both
coasts of the United States... and taught tens of thousands of men all
around the world.

--
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