HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND
Well, if you've been reading my newsletters for awhile,
then I'll bet that the title of this particular newsletter
got your attention...
I know, I know... I don't usually talk very much about
"girlfriends" and "relationships".
But today is SPECIAL.
It's special because I'm going to take an entire
newsletter to talk about the subject.
Of course, I'm not going to talk about the "usual" stuff
like how to buy a woman flowers and how to apologize when
you're late for dinner.
Nope.
I'm going to talk about something FAR more important.
I'm going to talk about how to GET a GREAT girlfriend...
and what to do once you've GOTTEN her so you don't screw it
up and LOSE her.
As a quick side note, I really believe that most men
ULTIMATELY want a GREAT relationship with a beautiful,
interesting, intelligent woman.
The REASON most guys learn to be more successful with
women and dating is to find a GREAT one... not just so they
can date a million women.
Sure, some guys just want to date a lot of women, and
aren't "relationship" material.
But I believe that probably 90% of guys who study this
area of life do so because they want to have OPTIONS when
it comes to women and dating... and they want to be able
to meet and date more intelligent, attractive, and
interesting women... but ULTIMATELY I think that most guys
would like to meet a really nice, attractive woman to share
a great relationship with.
Instead of just "settling" for any woman that will go
out with you, you start wanting THE BEST.
This is only natural.
Here's where things get interesting...
When a guy who hasn't been particularly good with women
and dating gets his first date with an UNUSUALLY wonderful
woman, it will often shake him up... and he'll "forget"
everything he's learned... and start acting like his former
"Wuss Self".
When the stakes go up in life, we humans get nervous.
And this nervousness often hurts us by "blanking" our
minds, and makes us SCREW UP... instead of HELPING us by
calming us and causing us to remember what we SHOULD be
doing.
Hey, I didn't design humans... I just work with what's
already there. Don't blame me.
So how does this translate when it comes to guys dating
unusually attractive women for the first time?
well, after having this happen in my own life many times,
and getting emails from countless guys who have gone through
the same thing, I think the process goes a little something
like this:
1) Become frustrated because he's not having success with
women and dating. Decides to do something about it.
2) Starts learning techniques and ideas to improve success.
Begins to improve, and realizes that it IS possible to have
more success with women. Feels excited as results improve.
3) Wakes up one day and realizes that the types of women that
were previously "untouchable" are, in fact, within reach.
Decides to do something about it.
4) Gets a date with a woman that was previously "out of his
league". Instantly becomes aware that this is a VERY
important situation. Becomes nervous.
5) Goes out on the date, and acts like a Wuss Bag. Because
he knows the MAJOR mistakes to avoid, and the important
things to do, still does "OK"... to the point where the
woman has a good time, enjoys herself, etc.
6) Goes home and says to self "Self, you'd better not
screw this one up. Call her and ask her out again. This
girl is RELATIONSHIP MATERIAL. It's OK to call her a
lot and act like a Wuss, because she's different. I
know that David D. would He-Bitch-Man-Slap me for this,
but if he knew how amazing THIS PARTICULAR girl was, he
would understand." Part of this step is thinking about the
girl all the time, and secretly wondering if she's OUT
WITH ANOTHER GUY.
7) Proceeds to call and get Date #2 (for the very next night,
of course).
8) On Date #2 (or Date #3) says to the girl "You're special.
I have FEELINGS for you." (Or something equally emotional,
needy, clingy, or Wuss-like.)
9) Calls the amazing girl every day... to the point where she
stops returning his calls and starts actively avoiding his
calls. Girl finally says something like "I think I need some
time ALONE right now in life" or "It's not YOU, it's ME" or
"You're such a great guy, and I really like you a lot... but
I'm just not ready for a RELATIONSHIP right now", etc.
10) Writes in to David D. and says "HELP, you've got to help
me out with this one. Please please please. This girl is
amazing and I want her to be my girlfriend, but I acted like
a Wuss, and now she only likes me as a friend. What can I do
to get her back?"
And if you've been tuned in to my newsletter for awhile,
you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.
Hell, if you've been tuned in long enough, YOU have
probably sent me an email like the one I just mentioned.
So there are two pieces to this puzzle:
1) How to get a girlfriend.
2) How to not screw it up when you get one.
...to be continued
--
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作者: INDI (litte) 看板: Niceguyclub
標題: [建議] 今日主題-續
時間: Fri Feb 13 11:01:13 2004
HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND
Here are some ideas for how to GET a great girlfriend:
1) Realize that attractive, intelligent, amazing women are
IN DEMAND. They are RARE (I believe that a man who has his
life together and understands women and attraction is FAR
RARER, but that's a different conversation).
2) Because these women are rare and in demand, they usually
have a lot of EXPERIENCE with men. And guess what? MEN ARE
VERY PREDICTABLE. Men usually ask women out in one of a
few PREDICTABLE ways... and they usually act one of a few
PREDICTABLE ways on dates... and they usually respond in
one of a few PREDICTABLE ways after the date... etc.
3) When it comes to the unusually attractive, desirable
women, they have usually had a LOT of men who have "fallen"
for them "too quickly". In other words, when they meet a
guy who falls for them quickly, they RECOGNIZE it instantly,
and RESPOND to it by RUNNING away.
4) If you want to get one of these desirable women to
consider a RELATIONSHIP with you, you need to NOT act like
one of the other 100 boring guys she's gone out with.
5) It is VITALLY important that you learn everything you
can about women and dating before you go looking for a
long-term relationship with a fantastic woman. Of course,
I recommend my eBook and other advanced materials for
this. You won't find a better education anywhere on this
topic, and what you'll learn from me will definitely help
you get your "game" together in this area. If you can't
afford to get my materials right now, just keep reading
these newsletters religiously. They're jam packed with
great information, and they'll help you tremendously. The
point is that you have to KEEP WORKING on it. Don't just
learn a few things and think "OK, I've got it".
6) You must give an unusually attractive woman SPACE. You
can't call her every day, tell her that you're in love with
her two days after you've met her, chase her around, always
ask what she's doing, etc. You must give this special woman
THE GIFT OF MISSING YOU.
7) When you're in her presence, you must not treat her like
you desperately want and need her approval. There's a way to
do ANYTHING and have it mean ANYTHING. Whatever you do,
don't try to "impress" her, act apologetic for anything about
yourself, or otherwise give away your personal POWER. EVER.
8) If you have a life, stay with it. If you don't have a
life, get one. Don't sit around wondering what she's doing,
calling her, telling her how you "feel", etc. If she wanted
another "girlfriend", she'd get one. So don't act like one.
Desirable women want men who are INDEPENDENT, and who give
them SPACE. In fact, if anything, you need to give a woman
like this TOO MUCH space. You want HER to be the one who is
calling YOU to figure out what you're up to.
9) If you sense that this woman is "testing" you by being
difficult, trying to change plans with you on short notice
all the time, etc. then RELAX. Lean back. Never let her
"get away" with anything just because she's beautiful, or
let her have any "special privileges" because you like her.
NEVER.
10) If you want a long-term relationship, let it DEVELOP
over time. I personally don't think it's a good idea to
even CONSIDER having a relationship with a woman until you
have known her for a MINIMUM of 90 days. MINIMUM! If you
take this mindset, it will FORCE you to chill out and let
things develop over time, instead of trying to "force" them.
You'll be VERY different from the other guys she's dated,
and you'll find that SHE starts letting the "I have special
feelings for you" talk slip out.
I'm suggesting a way of thinking, behaving, and
communicating that is VERY different from the way most men
think, behave, and communicate.
It is "counter intuitive"... it doesn't really seem to
make sense at first. And it is NOT what your FEELINGS will
tell you to do if you're not experienced with women.
But if you want to avoid being one of the guys who writes
me a "David, you have to help me please please please..."
letter, then I recommend you strongly consider this stuff...
and use what you're learning from me.
HOW TO NOT SCREW IT UP WITH THE GIRL YOU HAVE
Now I'm REALLY getting into territory that I don't
usually talk about, but I'll take a few minutes and comment
on a few things...
I personally think one of the biggest mistakes men make
with women comes down to GIVING AWAY PERSONAL POWER.
This usually means acting apologetic, allowing a woman
to "get away" with things that subtly put her "in control"
of you, and behaving like a WUSSY.
Women don't feel that magical emotion called ATTRACTION
for men who give away their power.
Women aren't attracted to WUSSIES.
And what do most men do once they get into a long-term
relationship?
Of course...
They start acting like Wussies.
Go figure, huh?
And another of the biggest mistakes that men make with
women is acting BORING AND PREDICTABLE. These are two sides
to the same coin.
Most guys do this right from the beginning, and kill any
chances of having ANY kind of success with a woman.
But the REAL challenge comes when you get into a longer
relationship with a person... because they get a chance to
LEARN what to expect.
In other words, it's harder to not act boring and
predictable with someone who has known you for a long time.
But you MUST do it if you want to keep the magic alive!
What I'm trying to say is that it's not enough to get
a woman to say "Yes, I want to be in a relationship with
you" or "Yes, I want to marry you". You're going to wake up
in five years, and still have to MAKE your relationship
great. Just because it's great now doesn't mean that you
can "let it slide".
I get a kick out of the emails I get from all the married
guys out there who are using these materials and techniques
to put the spark back into their marriages. Yes, even your
wife who you've been married to for twenty years still
wants you to make her feel ATTRACTION for you.
I hope this newsletter has made you think.
And I hope it has made you realize that there's a lot
more to GETTING and KEEPING a really attractive, amazing
woman than a few tricks.
You have to do a lot of INNER work if you want to be
the kind of guy who can keep an amazing woman.
When I was on my own personal quest to learn how to
attract women, I found that most of the materials available
only focused on the OUTER game. In other words, they only
talked about techniques. They said "Just go up to a woman
and say HI..." but they didn't talk about HOW to say the
words, or how to understand what the woman would be
thinking when I did approach her... or any of the million
other "INNER GAME" issues around meeting women.
After spending a few years figuring this stuff out, I
have realized that it is VITAL that a guy get his Inner
Game together FIRST.
Once you understand how and why women are attracted to
certain types of men, and how the human "mating dance"
works, you will SEE things differently. You'll understand
things in a new way. It's like putting on a pair of 3-D
glasses... and seeing things in a totally new way.
BY David .D
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作者: hardawayone (Phoenix Suns fan) 看板: Niceguyclub
標題: Re: [建議] 今日主題-How to GET her
時間: Wed Feb 18 00:57:45 2004
※ 引述《INDI (litte)》之銘言：
: HOW TO GET A GIRLFRIEND
如何把到馬子
: Well, if you've been reading my newsletters for awhile,
: then I'll bet that the title of this particular newsletter
: got your attention...
: I know, I know... I don't usually talk very much about
: "girlfriends" and "relationships".
: But today is SPECIAL.
: It's special because I'm going to take an entire
: newsletter to talk about the subject.
: Of course, I'm not going to talk about the "usual" stuff
: like how to buy a woman flowers and how to apologize when
: you're late for dinner.
: Nope.
: I'm going to talk about something FAR more important.
: I'm going to talk about how to GET a GREAT girlfriend...
: and what to do once you've GOTTEN her so you don't screw it
: up and LOSE her.
這一段沒什麼，主要說明這篇文章的主旨：如何交到一個女朋友，以及
之後有什麼要注意的地方。
: As a quick side note, I really believe that most men
: ULTIMATELY want a GREAT relationship with a beautiful,
: interesting, intelligent woman.
作者認為大部份的男人都想把漂亮的、有趣的以及有智慧的女生。
(有誰不想嗎？)
: The REASON most guys learn to be more successful with
: women and dating is to find a GREAT one... not just so they
: can date a million women.
: Sure, some guys just want to date a lot of women, and
: aren't "relationship" material.
: But I believe that probably 90% of guys who study this
: area of life do so because they want to have OPTIONS when
: it comes to women and dating... and they want to be able
: to meet and date more intelligent, attractive, and
: interesting women... but ULTIMATELY I think that most guys
: would like to meet a really nice, attractive woman to share
: a great relationship with.
大部份人想要在和女生相處及約會上做的更好的原因是，他們想找到
一個最好的。大部份人都想遇到一個有吸引力的女生，並和她維持良好
的關係。
: Instead of just "settling" for any woman that will go
: out with you, you start wanting THE BEST.
: This is only natural.
你總是會想從最好的開始，而不會只是和任何會和你出去的女生安定下來。
這是很自然的。(這是男人的本性-_-)
: Here's where things get interesting...
: When a guy who hasn't been particularly good with women
: and dating gets his first date with an UNUSUALLY wonderful
: woman, it will often shake him up... and he'll "forget"
: everything he's learned... and start acting like his former
: "Wuss Self".
這就是有趣的地方了，當你第一次約會時，你常常會忘掉之前學過的東西。
: When the stakes go up in life, we humans get nervous.
: And this nervousness often hurts us by "blanking" our
: minds, and makes us SCREW UP... instead of HELPING us by
: calming us and causing us to remember what we SHOULD be
: doing.
緊張會使你的心裡一片空白，讓你說不出話來；而不能讓你提醒自己該做什麼。
: Hey, I didn't design humans... I just work with what's
: already there. Don't blame me.
: So how does this translate when it comes to guys dating
: unusually attractive women for the first time?
所以，當我們第一次約會時，該怎麼做呢？
: well, after having this happen in my own life many times,
: and getting emails from countless guys who have gone through
: the same thing, I think the process goes a little something
: like this:
在無數次的失敗之後，我想這過程是像這樣的：
: 1) Become frustrated because he's not having success with
: women and dating. Decides to do something about it.
1.因為約會不成功而感到挫敗，決定去做一些相關的事情。
: 2) Starts learning techniques and ideas to improve success.
: Begins to improve, and realizes that it IS possible to have
: more success with women. Feels excited as results improve.
2.開始學習一些技巧希望能成功，開始了解和女生在一起是有可能的，
會覺得很興奮。
: 3) Wakes up one day and realizes that the types of women that
: were previously "untouchable" are, in fact, within reach.
: Decides to do something about it.
3.有一天突然覺醒了，了解到之前“可遠觀而不可褻玩”的她，其實是觸手可及的！
於是，決定開始行動。
: 4) Gets a date with a woman that was previously "out of his
: league". Instantly becomes aware that this is a VERY
: important situation. Becomes nervous.
4.和一個之前遙不可及的女生約會，變的很緊張。
: 5) Goes out on the date, and acts like a Wuss Bag. Because
: he knows the MAJOR mistakes to avoid, and the important
: things to do, still does "OK"... to the point where the
: woman has a good time, enjoys herself, etc.
5.出去約會，知道要避免什麼錯誤，及該做什麼重要的事情。
: 6) Goes home and says to self "Self, you'd better not
: screw this one up. Call her and ask her out again. This
: girl is RELATIONSHIP MATERIAL. It's OK to call her a
: lot and act like a Wuss, because she's different. I
: know that David D. would He-Bitch-Man-Slap me for this,
: but if he knew how amazing THIS PARTICULAR girl was, he
: would understand." Part of this step is thinking about the
: girl all the time, and secretly wondering if she's OUT
: WITH ANOTHER GUY.
6.回家後告訴自己說：阿，其實我可以做的更好的......，打電話
約她下一次再出來吧。然後，不斷地想她...，無時無刻不想她...，在心中
暗暗的猜測她會不會和其他人出去.....。
: 7) Proceeds to call and get Date #2 (for the very next night,
: of course).
7.約她下一次見面(通常是隔天)
: 8) On Date #2 (or Date #3) says to the girl "You're special.
: I have FEELINGS for you." (Or something equally emotional,
: needy, clingy, or Wuss-like.)
8.在第二或三次約會時對她說：“妳...妳...妳是最特別的，我...我...我
對你很有感覺...”(或其它類似的話)。
: 9) Calls the amazing girl every day... to the point where she
: stops returning his calls and starts actively avoiding his
: calls. Girl finally says something like "I think I need some
: time ALONE right now in life" or "It's not YOU, it's ME" or
: "You're such a great guy, and I really like you a lot... but
: I'm just not ready for a RELATIONSHIP right now", etc.
9.每天打電話給那已經受到驚嚇的女生......，結果她從此不再回你電話，而且不接
你的電話...。最後那女孩對你說：“我想要多一點獨處的時間...”或“你是個好人
，我真的很喜歡你...，但我現在還沒準備好...”之類的話。
: 10) Writes in to David D. and says "HELP, you've got to help
: me out with this one. Please please please. This girl is
: amazing and I want her to be my girlfriend, but I acted like
: a Wuss, and now she only likes me as a friend. What can I do
: to get her back?"
10.最後，你就會寫信給作者尋求協助。喔！她是這麼的令人驚豔，我想
要她做我的女朋友...，可是她現在只把我當成一個普通朋友...。我要怎麼
做才能挽回她呢？
: And if you've been tuned in to my newsletter for awhile,
: you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about.
: Hell, if you've been tuned in long enough, YOU have
: probably sent me an email like the one I just mentioned.
: So there are two pieces to this puzzle:
: 1) How to get a girlfriend.
: 2) How to not screw it up when you get one.
: ...to be continued
下一篇將講到如何交女朋友，以及如何維持下去。
這一整篇翻下來，害我又想起了從前.....應該先翻下一篇的....
--
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