[AI. ] Top 7: Nasally is a form of..(VFTW)

[nopeeking (Down Under)]

Top 7 - Nasally Is a Form of Singing (Poorly)

http://0rz.tw/c32A9   thefunnystone - April 17, 2007 - 9:18pm


鄉村周：鼻音是一種唱（爛）歌的方法。（VFTW）

This week the Idols sang with Martina McBride, the first guest judge in a
while who could actually sing well. But it's country week, so taking a page
from past country weeks, this week is going to be one big VFTW victory. That
it is. Half of the performances are good and half stink to high hell. Who
falls into which category? It shouldn't be hard to figure out, but let's
recap this sucktacuar night anyway!

這禮拜參賽者跟一個終於比較會唱歌的明星共事，瑪緹那。不過本週是鄉村周，想必是

投最爛的一大歷史頁啊（看看以前的鄉村周都長怎樣就知道啦）。一半的表演還好然後

另一半爛到骨子裡啦。誰還好？誰好爛？這應該不難看出來，管他的我們來回味一下這

個爛的精彩的夜晚吧！

Phil "Nosphilatu" Stacy started out first with Where the Blacktop Ends. It's
kind of creepy, kind of weird, as always, but it's not terrible. I didn't
really enjoy it, but after watching the entire show, Phil definitely falls
right into the middle easily. Though if you don't want to be compared to a
vampire, wearing all black isn't necessarily a good idea. The judges loved
it, and hey, Phil's gonna need that to survive another week. I'd like him to
stay purely so he can be a backup VFTW later on.

Phil「吸血鬼」Stacy第一個唱 Where the Blacktop Ends。跟往常一樣詭異地令人發

毛，不過不爛耶。我不太享受他的表演，可是看完全部節目之後，他應該沒問題會被放

在中間團。衷心的建議噢，如果不想被拿來跟吸血鬼比較，那全身穿黑色實在不大是個

好主意。評審挺喜歡他的，Phil一定要撐過這禮拜啊。他可是我們選最爛的欽點備一。

Second up is Jordin Sparks. And I still can't make fun of this girl for much.
Her outfit was pretty awful this week, but her singing was amazing. She
easily outsang everyone else with a performance of a song that's overdone on
Idol, but made it sound fresh. You know what? I can't seem to make fun of
this girl. She always sings well and never does anything all that annoying.
Thus, I ask you, loyal readers, to please e-mail me with possible nicknames
for Jordin and some reasons to make fun of her. I need something to work with
here, help me out!

再來是Jordin Sparks，然後我還是沒辦法取笑這女孩。她的衣著實在是很糟啊這禮拜，

但是唱得實在是太棒了。她簡簡單單地就唱倒其他人，選的歌是其他人唱到爛的歌，卻又

可以讓表演清新不無聊。ㄟ真的，我沒辦法取笑這女孩，親愛的讀者們，如果你們想到任

何可能的暱稱，或者可能取笑的原因給我，我實在是沒辦法啦。

Third, Sanjaya "The Most Awesome Person on the Planet" Malakar wants to give
us something to talk about. How about VFTW? This one will certainly get
people talking, as will his do rag and baggy mock janitor's outfit. He's back
to form and I'm loving it! The singing is worse than ever, and he's jumping
around the stage like a true Worster. The judges basically return to their
"how can we get rid of this guy" critique mode (though it's not like they
ever say anything worthwhile anyway) and Simon looks pissed. He states, "It
was funny for a while, but..." and then jumps into some ridiculous diatribe
about how this competition is meant to find the next big superstar. No it
isn't. You already found this magical person and this is a promotional tool
rather than a talent competition. And it's still fun! So let's keep Sanjaya
in the game, folks.

第三個是Sanjaya「天啊你真是太棒了全球最棒」Malakar，給我們「一些」東西去聊。

聊聊選最爛吧。這次表演肯定讓大家聊不停的啦，啊，當然還有那一整身像路邊清潔工

的衣著囉。他終於回到他的本位了，愛死他了！唱歌部份真是爛到無以復加，在台上根

本就是「」(Worster是啥啊？XD)。評審們也回到他們「到底是要怎樣才能趕走這傢

伙？」本位批評法（不過其實他們也沒真正給過啥好建議），而且Simon看起來火大了。

他說，「一開始是很好笑啦，可是…」，然後就接著是一堆莫名其妙的詆毀說這個比賽

是要發掘下一個大明星云云。並不是。你已經找到一個不可多得的人選啦，他比較像宣

傳工具，才不是拿來比才華的。而且這宣傳工具還很有趣！所以囉，各位，我們繼續把

Sanjaya留著吧！╰(￣▽￣)╯

LaKliche decides to jump into a different cliche this week by taking on
former Idol Carrie Underwood's song, Jesus Take the Wheel. Martina loves it,
but I'm not so sure this is a good idea. Carrie Underwood has no personality
and only succeeds because she's pretty and people can listen to her on the
radio. She's a terrible performer. Sure enough, LaKisha starts off okay, but
the chorus becomes painful. She screams out to Jesus, and he's too busy
telling her to sing a little softer to help her. Divas can't scream out
everything, and this was an incredibly poor choice on LaKisha's part. Martina
McBride is a screaming diva country singer, Jordin figured this out, but
LaKisha went the wrong route. If you can belt, don't try belting a simple
song like that one. The judges were correct to insult it, and hopefully this
terrible performance is enough to send her packing and save Sanjaya.

Lakisha 「啦啦啦老套」選了另一種老套來表演，Carrie Underwood的耶穌拿輪子。

Martina很愛，不過我不確定這是不是個好主意。Carrie根本沒有個人特質，只是因為她

漂亮，然後大家可以在廣播上聽到她這樣。Carrie台上表演爛翻了。Lakisha開始還行，

可是到了副歌就糟了。她對著耶穌哭號，看來耶穌有點小忙，以致於忘了告訴她唱軟一

點。天后不能什麼都尖叫啊，Lakisha挑這首還真是錯翻了。Martina自己就是尖叫天后，

Jordin看出來了，Lakisha卻選了錯誤的路走。要哭喊可以，可是不該選擇這首簡單的歌

來大哭喊。評審們對這首歌大肆批評是對的，希望可以因為這樣讓她打道回府啊，留下

Sanjaya就好。

Chris "Timberfake" Richardson sings Mayberry, which Martina McBride doesn't
get. Yeah, this vocal may even be worse than Sanjaya's. It's nasaly, painful,
and oh so wonderfully VFTW. The judges finally call him out on sucking so
bad, and his comeback to Simon is that "nasally is a form of singing." That
may be the stupidest thing anyone has ever said on this show, ever. If
nasally is a form of singing, so is shitty, which is what we heard tonight
from Chris. He's giving Phil Stacy a run for his money as the next worst
behind Sanjaya, but neither are really any fun. Boo.

Chris「假賈斯叮」Richardson唱Mayberry，連Martina都不知道。這歌聲可能連Sanjaya

都輸。都是鼻音，很痛苦，噢對噢對而且很「選最爛」。評審們終於說他很爛了，他居然

還向Simon頂嘴說「鼻音是唱法的一種」，這大概是有AI以來最白痴的說法了吧。如果鼻

音真的是一種唱法，那超爛也是一種唱法，就像他這次的表演。他幫Phil Stacy開了一

條生（財）路，大概可以排在Sanjaya前面而已。不過他跟Phil都太無聊了！！下台！！

Melinda "No Neck" Doolittle does well again. As always. So boring. Though
Simon does tell her to end the fake surprise moments. Finally! Otherwise,
she's too good to really care about and not interesting enough to really make
fun of. She did a good job.

Melinda「沒脖子虜虜咪」Doolittle又唱好了。也跟以往一樣，無聊死了。就算Simon

告訴她不要再裝驚訝了。終於啊，否則她實在是太好以致於不用去取笑她，而且就算取

笑她也沒那麼好玩。她唱的不錯。

Blake Lewis closes out the show with When the Stars Go Blue. It's not bad,
but I think the performance is falling a little flat. Maybe the stars are
going green... or maybe pink? Or maybe the stars are just too busy voting for
Sanjaya. There's no safari hat to distract me from Blake's weak vocals this
week. But I think this would sound really good recorded, as long as Blake
drops the faux accent. Yeah, that's it, this needs to be recorded and not
performed live like this. The judges love it, but Simon is a little
unimpressed. The stars go... whatever.

Blake Lewis唱When the Stars Go Blue來閉幕（按：咦他也沒有暱稱耶）。是不爛啦，

不過我覺得表演有點軟掉了。大概是星星變綠了…還是粉紅？或者是星星正忙著投票給

Sanjaya。這禮拜沒有探險帽來分散我對Blake沒力的聲音的注意力（按：上週這位作者

說因為那頂帽子，讓Blake看起來小了很多吋。XD）。這首歌的錄音室版應該會很不錯，

只要Blake不要再假音的話。對，現場怎麼會變這樣啊，錄音室想必會好一點。評審們

挺喜歡的，不過Simon看起來不太滿意。「今晚得星星的是…」，隨便啦。

Who's going home? I can never predict Sanjaya, so I'll go with KiKi again,
and Sanjaya and Chris could round out the bottom 3. Not that I want Sanjaya
in the bottom 3, but he kind of needs to scare us a little bit so people vote
harder next week! So let's hope LaKisha goes home and shocks America, because
Sanjaya going home is going to make this show BORING with a capital B.

那所以誰會走啊？我才不要把Sanjaya放在我的b3名單裡面，我選KiKi，然後可能Sanjaya

和Chris會加滿三枚。並不是說我想要Sanjaya在b3裡面，而是說他需要被擺在b3來讓他

被留久一點！所以我們來祈禱Lakisha得到靴子來嚇嚇米國人，因為啊，如果Sanjaya走

的話，這個節目就真的是[Bold][Italic]無[/I][/B]聊斃了。





哈哈哈，放這篇來增加自己文章的長度而已，我自己是覺得本週無聊死了。XD

唯二喜歡的其實是Phil和Melinda，其他的各位同學都掉進了無聊的大坑裡面。


不過我倒是覺得明天Phil會遭遇不測。╮(╯_╰)╭

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◆ From: 140.113.56.189
※ 編輯: nopeeking       來自: 140.113.56.189       (04/18 16:50)
推 tubryan:推一個, 好好笑的文章 XDDDDDD
推 Raul303:Sangina加油!!!!
推 isaac0204:Timberfake~~!!!!   哈哈~~~
推 tenoe:超好笑啦!!!!
推 POYUANG:worster = worst + er = 專門當最爛的人。
推 Tjin:天呀 好刻薄的文章唷XD~~
推 gjiove:這個樂評前幾週還說魯魯米長得像……史瑞克。
推 POYUANG:我覺得還是最像嚕嚕米。當初想出這個稱號的版友請受我一拜
→ saugun:阿阿阿~樓上的快別這麼說了..她真的是活生生血淋淋的嚕嚕米
推 libertine:中文翻的很好!!!笑死了 XD