發信人: d814321@Oz.nthu.edu.tw (Wen-Jer Wu), 看板: cs.courses
標 題: (fwd) joke: upgrade Girlfriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0
發信站: National Tsing Hua Univ. Computing Centre, (Tue Mar 25 16:13:26 1997)
轉信站: maple!news.cs.nthu!thccx4!eusapia.nthu!d814321
哈哈...以下這篇英文文章實在是太好笑了...各位同學千萬不要錯過.....
嗯...如果大家不嫌棄我那破破的英文的話...就那小弟我為大家翻譯一下吧..
: Subject: Upgrade from Girlfriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0
主題 :從Girlfriend 6.0 昇級到 Wife 1.0
: Last year a friend of mine upgraded GirlFriend 6.0 to Wife 1.0 and
: found that it's a memory hog leaving very little system resources for
: spawning Child-Processes which are further consuming valuable
: resources.
去年我有一個朋友從GirlFriend 6.0昇級到Wife 1.0，但是不久後他發現這個程式吃掉
了系統的大部分資源,以至於無法執行其他的程式,同時也注意到,這個Wife 1.0將會衍生
出Child-Process,會進一步的消耗掉其他可利用的系統資源.
: No mention of this particular phenomena was included in the
: product brochure or the documentation, though other users have
: informed him that this is to be expected due to the nature of the
: application.
雖然其他使用者都曾經告訴他..由於人性,這種情形是可預期發生的,但Wife 1.0的產品
說明書並沒有提到這些特殊的現象.
: Not only that, Wife 1.0 installs itself such that it is
: always launched at system initialization where it can monitor all other
: system activity. He's finding that some applications such as
: PokerNight 10.3, BeerBash 2.5, and PubNight 7.0 are no longer able to
: run, crashing the system when selected (even
: though they always worked fine before).
不只如此,Wife 1.0會自己安裝軟體,例如它會使系統在一開始的時候就執行Wife1.0
如此它才可以監視所有系統的活動.我的朋友也發現一些應用程式,例如PokerNight 10.3
Beerbash2.5,PubNight 7.0已經不再能執行,雖然這些程式以前都跑得很好,但現在只要
一執行就會使系統當機.
: At installation, Wife 1.0
: automatically installs undesired Plug-Ins such as MotherInLaw 55.8 and
: BrotherInLaw Beta release. As a consequence system
: performance seems to diminish with each passing day.
: Some features he'd like to see in the upcoming wife 2.0:
: A "Don't remind me again" button
: A Minimize button
: An install shield feature that allows Wife 2.0 to
: be installed with the option to uninstall at anytime without
: the loss of cache and other system resources.
: An option to run the network driver in promiscuous mode which
: would allow the systems hardware probe feature to have greater
: use.
在安裝的時候,Wife 1.0會自動安裝一些使用者不想要的Plug-Ins..例如MotherInLow 55.8
,BrotherInLow Beta測試版.影響所及,使得系統的效率一天比一天差.
他希望在即將到來的Wife 2.0能有下列特點...
* 新增 "不要再煩我了!!" 按鈕
* 新增最小化按鈕
* 新增可反安裝特點...隨時都可以在不損失系統資源的前提下uninstall wife2.0
* 新增網路驅動選項...允許使用者經由網路充分使用到系統的"硬體"
: I myself decided to avoid all of the headaches associated with
: Wife 1.0 by sticking with Girlfriend 2.0. Even here, however, I found
: many problems. Apparently you cannot install Girlfriend 2.0 on
: top of Girlfriend 1.0. You must uninstall Girlfriend 1.0 first.
: Other users say this is a long standing bug which I should have
: been aware of.
我自己則決定要避免這些與Wife 1.0有關的頭痛問題,所以我繼續使用GirlFriend 2.0
但即使是這樣,我還是發現了很多問題.很明顯的你無法把GirlFriend 2.0安裝在
GirlFriend 1.0之上.你必須先uninstall GirlFriend 1.0.其他使用者說這是一
個存在很久的bug..你應該知道才是...
: Apparently the versions of Girlfriend have conflicts over
: shared use of the I/O port. You think they would have fixed
: such a stupid bug by now. To make matters worse, The uninstall
: program for Girlfriend 1.0 doesn't work very well leaving
: undesirable traces of the application in the system.
: Another annoying problem -- all versions of Girlfriend
: continually popup annoying messges about the advantages of
: upgrading to Wife 1.0
明顯地,GirlFriend的各種版本無法同時使用I/O PORT.你認為他們現在應該解決了
這樣一個stupid的bug..但沒有...另外一個使情況更糟糕的是..GirlFriend 1.0的
反安裝程式執行的並不完全..總是在系統裡殘留一些不需要的使用紀錄....
GirlFriend的所有版本都會不斷的出現煩人的訊息來告訴你升級至Wife 1.0的好處..
: ***** BUG WARNING ********
: Wife 1.0 has an undocumented bug. If you try to install Mistress 1.1
: before uninstalling Wife 1.0, Wife 1.0 will delete MSMoney files
: before executing a self - uninstallation. Then Mistress 1.1 will
: refuse to install, claiming insufficient system resources.
***** Bug 警告 *******
Wife 1.0有未公開的秘密.如果你試著要在未uninstall wife 1.0的情況下安裝
情婦1.1 ,Wife 1.0將會刪除掉你系統的金錢檔案,直到你把情婦1.1uninstall後才會還原
但是一但你的金錢檔案被刪除,情婦1.1將會拒絕安裝,除非你有足夠的系統資源.
: *** BUG WORK-AROUNDS ***************
: To avoid the above bug, try installing Mistress 1.1 on a different
: system and never run any file transfer applications such as Laplink
: 6.0. Also, beware of similar shareware applications that have been
: known to carry viruses that may affect Wife 1.0.
: Another solution would be to run Mistress 1.1 via a UseNet provider
: under an anonymous name. Here again, beware of the viruses which
: can accidently be downloaded from the UseNet.
****Bug 解決方案 **********
為了避免掉上述的big,你可以設法把情婦 1.1安裝在不同的系統.並且不要執行任何
檔案傳輸程式..例如LapLink 6.0.此外,要小心謹防類似的共享軟體攜帶病毒以致影響到
wife 1.0
另外一個解決方案是經由UseNet服務提供的一個匿名的名字在UseNet上執行.但是要再提
醒一次 ,千萬要小心病毒有可能從UseNet上DownLoad下來..
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