[外電] Celtics attribute recent road woes to absence of Garnett

[SexyCassell (其實我很帥)]

我以性感卡塞爾的長相發誓，請求各位嚴肅看待這篇報導，我要求球團正視KG的心魔問題，
這是個在季後賽前幾論就已經出現的問題，當總冠軍對湖人無法拿下兩場客場勝利的時候，
我強烈懷疑這個問題到現在還沒被解決，難怪KG會心神不寧陷入犯規麻煩，連罰球也不進。

再次強烈要求！河流和球團請拿出誠意解決。


http://myurl.com.tw/buf0

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Celtics attribute recent road woes to absence of Garnett nightlight, lucky      
blanket

KG的小夜燈與幸運小毛毯



BOSTON, MA — Boston Celtics head coach Doc Rivers has remained mum on the
reason for his team’s highly suspect play on the road in the first two rounds
of the NBA Playoffs – that is, until now.

河流教練為了超賽季後賽連續兩輪的客場殲沒做出說明。

One day after the Celtics dispatched LeBron James and his Cleveland Cavaliers
in Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Semifinals, Rivers confessed to a stunned
throng of reporters at an impromptu Monday night press conference that star
forward Kevin Garnett is actually to blame for Boston’s six consecutive losses
away from home.

在超賽第七場淘汰LBJ和騎士隊的當天，河流向媒體公開放話說「KG必須要為超賽的連續六
場的客場失利負責」。

“Kevin hasn’t had his Hannah Montana nightlight and matching commemorative
blanket – or as he likes to call it, his ‘lucky blankie’ – since we
finished up the regular season’s last road trip,” Rivers explained. “We
think he must have misplaced them in his hotel room in Portland, but they didn’
t have them at the lost and found. Either way, he absolutely refuses to buy new
ones.”

「自從我們結束了例行賽的最後一個客場之旅後，凱文就再沒能擁有他的Hannah Montana
小夜燈，也沒能找到足以代替他那條紀念性價值毛毯的替代品——他喜歡稱它為他的
『幸運小毛毯』。」河流這麼解釋：「我們認為凱文必定是在波特蘭的旅館房間把這些東
東西搞丟了，可是在失物招領中心並沒有它們的蹤影。而這兩件東西中的任意一件他都
拒絕再買新的。」

Though he realizes some skeptics will laugh at his reasoning, or call him an
excuse-maker, Rivers says he has spent a lot of time thinking about the issue.
He sees no other cause to which he can attribute his team’s road struggles
against Atlanta and Cleveland.

儘管河流明白一些懷疑論者會嘲笑這一個理由，或者認為是藉口罷了，但河流仍然表示他真
的花了許多時間在思考這個問題，但是就是找不到超賽爲什麼在對老鷹與騎士的系列賽客場
輸球的原因。

“Our team won over thirty games on the road during the regular season, and we’
re beginning to think it was due to KG’s nightlight and blanket, not our
clamping, stifling defense,” the former coach of the year said. “We’ve been
playing even better defense in the playoffs, but Garnett hasn’t had his Hannah
Montana stuff – you do the math. It’s one of those crazy things you just can’
t explain.”

「我們的球隊在例行賽贏得超過30場的客場比賽，所以我們開始認為這都是因為KG的小夜燈
和小毛毯的緣故，而不是因為我們的防守出了問題。」河流說道：「我們在季後賽一直無法
擁有更出色的防守表現，但是KG沒有了他的Hannah Montana系列週邊產品──你算算，這就
是眾多無法解釋的瘋狂事件之一。」

According to Rivers, the Celtics’ first order of business before leaving
Boston for Game 3 of the conference finals will be ensuring that their 11-time
All-Star is comfortable with the idea of being away from home, which may
ultimately mean diverting the team plane for a layover – and desperate search
of the Marriott Hotel – in Portland on the way to Detroit.

根據河流所言，超賽為了能讓KG安心打球，在離開波士頓遠赴底特律的東區決賽第三場前，
他們也許會改變球隊的航程──轉飛波特蘭，盡全力在Marriott Hotel展開瘋狂尋找。

“I thought about going to Hannah Montana’s website and ordering that stubborn
son-of-a-bitch some autographed replacements, just to calm his nerves,” Rivers
told SSNN. “But I just don’t think there’s any way he would go for it. He
likes his ‘blankie’ with the frayed edges and the mysterious stains on it,
and I probably can’t replicate them closely enough to fool him. So it wouldn’
t do any good, and I would be out $500.”

「我有想過去Hannah Montana的網站訂購一些有著該死簽名的其他產品以穩定他的神經。」
河流繼續說道：「但是我不認為他會接受，哪怕有一點點不同，他只喜歡他那條破破爛爛
、還有神秘污漬在上頭的小毛毯，而我根本不可能把它複製到以假亂真的地步來騙他，所以
這個方法完全沒有效用，我還白花美金五百元。」

But if all else fails, Rivers believes his team is still confident and talented
enough to overcome Garnett’s handicap and make a run at a title. “Thank God we
’re the first seed and have home-court advantage. We could go winless on the
road the entire playoffs and still win it all. As long as Paul Pierce gets his
pre-game meal of pig uterus and horse penis, we’ll be okay.”

儘管如此，河流對他的球隊還是自信滿滿，他們的能力可以克服KG的諸多不利因，並且一
路闖進總冠軍，感謝上天 我們是第一種一子擁有主場優勢，即使我們在整個季後賽客場一
場也不勝，我們仍然會贏得最終的勝利，只要PP在賽前有吃到豬的子宮和馬的「那個」。


(→誰可以告訴我最後一句怎麼翻譯呀 我懂原文的意思 有夠毒 XD 但要怎麼表達呀 囧 )


Posted on May 20th, 2008

---------------------------------


很好，看來PP回到LA的家，晚餐應該吃的很彭派，今天表現完全切入魂，繼續吃下去吧，
回到波士頓，叫你老婆煮給你吃 囧 ，拜託多吃一點，下一場就封王！

至於KG，一人一毯救KG???? 囧囧囧

超賽加油，主場封王！

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◆ From: 61.230.93.120
※ 編輯: SexyCassell     來自: 61.230.93.120        (06/16 16:55)
→ jasonflower :借轉^^
※ jasonflower:轉錄至看板 ck_17_301                                06/16 17:06
→ truth76901  :這是殺小......
→ qaqa123     :ssnn
推 Lyotard     :非常嚴肅報導 :P
推 psychoF     :請高層正視這個問題!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(認真)
推 gaiaesque   :精英的馬...
推 mda748      :KG得了沒有小夜燈跟小毛毯就打不好球的病!
推 bri         :有沒有性感外星人迷上SSNN的八卦?
推 LSB3        :這問題真的很嚴肅~~我是KG迷~~
推 shepherdy   :........
推 awaro       :不要再騙人了...
推 openho      :你真的很帥!
推 cress0128   :KG原來是史奴比的朋友！
推 FY4         :神秘污漬.....我當KG迷當那麼久不知道有條小毛巾?
※ jasonflower:轉錄至某隱形看板                                    06/16 22:39