推 ecocharts:許多名詞缺乏冠詞或複數型140.113.169.157 12/12 18:23
嗯....其實我英文也沒有很好啦
只是指出一些比較明顯的問題 參考看看就好
※ 引述《JOY0968 (朋友~~順阿!!)》之銘言：
: 室友他明天要上台的演說 我們有看過改過了
: 只是想請大家看看還有有沒有什麼我們沒注意到文法 或錯誤的地方
: 有點急...
: 謝謝^^
: Hello, every one, my name is Eva.Today I want to talk about my hobbies .
: I like surfing Internate and using MSN to chat with my friend.
: I love using computer because I can get many information what I want,
這邊應該用that,不過也可省略,我個人是習慣省略啦 ^^^^ ^^^^
另外用want似乎怪怪的,用need會不會比較好?
I love using computer so I can get many information I need.
: and when I am boried,I can play games in computer.
bored ^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^computer games即可.
: I like using computer to talk with my friends because it is very convenient
: and immediately,
^^^^^^^^^^^immediately是副詞,應改為形容詞immediate,但是immediate字義
是"立即,直接,馬上",跟你的文意"快速便捷"似乎不太合?要不要考慮換個字?
: the most important is it's free,doesn't like telephone.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^這裡顯然是中式英文
and, most importantly, unlike telephone, it's totally free.
: So when I am home I use my computer more than watch tv.
^^^^^watching
我個人是建議改成: I spend more time on computer than watching TV at home.
: My other hobby is listening music,because I love singing very much,
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^這裡怪怪的,要不要考慮改成And music is my other hobby,...
: and when I fell depressed,listening music can make me to be in a good mood.
^^^^ felt? fall? ^^^^^這兩個字刪掉
.....help me back to a good mood
這樣句意會不會比較順?
: I like to sing with the song,but now I live with my friends so i can't do
: it when my friend at home,or they will feel clamorousely.
^stays ^^^^^^^^^^^^Feel後面直接接形容
詞喔
: Ok,that's about my hobbies.My speech is over, thank you!
嗯,I+be跟I+V.這兩種基本款的句型似乎有點太常用了,感覺上每一句都是這兩種開頭
雖然說這樣可以避免錯誤,可是就會相對的太單調喔,你可以考慮在裡面穿插一些不同
的句型,只要幾句就好,可以讓文章有變化很多,請多指教喔^^
--
Dr. Ian Malcolm: God creates dinosaurs. God destroys dinosaurs.
God creates man. Man destroys God. Man creates
dinosaurs...
Dr. Ellie Sattler: Dinosaurs eat man. Woman inherits the earth...
-《Jurassic Park》(1993)
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◆ From: 140.116.113.134
※ 編輯: bepsi 來自: 140.116.113.134 (12/12 01:20)