Today a familiar feeling swept over me. Something I thought
I had long forgotten barged in to remind me that some things will
haunt you forever!
As I scrolled down the web page looking for my name on the
roster I could hear my heart beating faster by the second. It should
not be a very long list, but why can I not reach the end? Every word
on the page seemed unreadable to me. Every time I try to concentrate
on the next name on the list, the figures start to blur. The lines
start to twitch and curve, running away from my grasp. I gave one last
try to read the name, but at last I gave up. It was not important anyway.
I may not be able to concentrate, but at least I am able to tell that
it was not my name. Moving on to the next was just as meaningless.
The first few names were mind-boggling enough, but as I reached the
end, I could not tell if I had just read that same name two seconds
before. After all, this one was just as meaningless as the last,
and there was no reason to suggest that the next would be any more
promising.
And finally, when there were no more ants crawling on my
monitor, I felt a sense of emptiness. I continued scrolling down,
watching the names running down my monitor. They were falling.
Falling, just like my heart. Down, down, down...
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