[Mind] Here's my story

[Bigfatty73 (Chris)]

here's my story, hope it'd do the trick

I fell for this girl back during my sophomore, she had the sweetest smile
I've ever felt, It took me another year to know her,
to make sure my feelings were more than a flash in a pan.

I never showed my cards, I never made attempts, I was just on call...
always set to give her a ride, always opened to help her with her seminar
paper reviews, always willing to recruit a midnight snack raid...

Whenever she called, I was always there.

Summer, prior to my junior college, I left for UCLA summer-sessions.

Two months of info-bombardment and improvment, I was ready for the task.

I came to her with a box of Swedish chocolates, noticing her hand holding
with a great friend of mine, Ondre. A true gentlemen, a great guy, and
mostly..handsome. As it sould, the chocolate became just a great "souvenir"
from CA.

since it was for me..her happiness that mattered, and the 3 of us had been
used to hanging out altogether, I sticked around...in my defense, a monitor
to Ondre, to see through she gets what's rightfully hers.

2-full years of sweets and sours. I still loved to see her smile, her grins,
and the way she laughs at my lousy jokes. But every time they cuddle,
it kills me. it's a tight grip within your chest, as if your heart's stopping,
suffering from hypoxia, all I could do, was wear on my public smile
(It looks authentic, I've worked on it.) and secretly turn away to breathe.

Graduation day, thankfully they were still a loving couple....

I gave her a letter in calligraphy, which I worked for two years to perfect
I said it was scribbles for her to keep, thought it'd be something hearty
to read someday in the future.....

Gladly, she didn't understand it or didn't read it at all..
two weeks later she asked me out to join them to a ride.....
at least she wouldn't be carrying this burden

it's almost been a year by now, though I blocked her out of communication
completely. I still image her presence late night at work.
I want to be capable, better, someone she could rely on.
grad school, linguistics abilities, knowledge, manners....

It's quite heavy if you're doing this shit on your own.

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推 fizeau:If I could go UCLA, I won't care about that shit a bit
→ Bigfatty73:coz you havn't met the one that truely moved you
推 fizeau:ya If you find my remark indecent then delete it sorry
→ Bigfatty73:that's what I wanted to ask..how do I make edits
推 fizeau:ctrl+ y
推 fizeau:first...."E"
→ Bigfatty73:I wouldn't use it unless someone greets my parents)
推 fizeau:I admit I am stupid to say so. I should've thought
→ fizeau:twice before saying anything
推 hkcynic:hey man, you are really tough. i cant possibly endure
→ hkcynic:this agony for 2 years. Hopefully another charming gal
→ hkcynic:will appear in you life soon. /pat