[Mind] fairy tale no longer exists

[loveleslie (sway)]

Honesty, I have to congratulate someone who has stable relationship with
their lover. They trust each other tremendously so much that could even
let one of them think about their future.
But sometimes, it’s just your own wishful thinking.

We are all implanted a thought that women should sacrifice for their men.
Some people gave up their valuable chances to marry a man, or some of them
made a compromise to confront to their boyfriends’ standard.
However, have you ever thought about when they sacrifice for you without
your demanding? When they really give up something because of you?
I can’t say there is none. But who can provide an example?

Maybe you will realize something after getting hurt.
There is why some people refuse to fall in love anymore.
They are the real group, which have the right to say that because
they have experienced the heaven therefore they could tell how it tastes
in the hell. Take myself as an example. I once regarded my relationship as
the most treasure thing on the world. I devoted myself to the relationship
so deeply that I couldn’t remember the man, I am dating is just ordinary.
I was attractive by his honesty, but people lie and they change.
My fairy tale was shattered. There is no happy ending in my story anymore.
 Or maybe we should put it in this way, I got a new definition of happy ending.

I remember my mother always says ‘’ Trust no one but yourself.’’
Is it pathetic? Yes, it is. But everyone should keep them in mind unless
they will never marry a wrong guy.
After getting hurt, I am happy because I know my mother is right.
I should not waste too much time on men. Yet I should invest myself
and open as many doors for me as possible. The skill you obtain is real,
the success you achieve is real. The prince only exits in the fairy tale.
This is ruthless, but that’s how the world works.

The purpose of this article is actually not telling you not to love,
but love carefully. Leaving some space and time for each other is wise.
Besides, you will find you have anything when you spread your hands.
Try to remember there are other possibilities for you apart from the fairy tale.




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推 normanshi:I hope you can still find your prince someday!
推 normanshi:Breaking up peacefully is also a happy ending.
→ normanshi:plus without cheating on you
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <

作者: kellygirl (kellygirl) 看板: EngTalk
標題: Re: [Mind] fairy tale no longer exists
時間: Wed Apr 18 00:21:52 2007

I think the problem with relationships nowadays is that people no longer
understand what love is.  Love is ephemeral, intagible, completely untouchable,
merely a word used to describe a complicated concept. Complicated conceptually,
but it should be practiced and approached painlessly and effortlessly.

When you watch an excellent movie, when eat something delicious, when you catch
the sunrise or wait for the sunset, it is these tiny seemingly inconsequential
moments and experiences that accumlate and become unique and lasting memories.
Everyday you look forward to making new memories with this person. It is this
longing that maintains love, and those precious memories are what keeps us from
straying away from love.  These memories gives us a concrete idea of love,
something we can grasp and hold.

What love is not....it is not a business. Don't expect profit, don't expect
gains, dont expect to get the same amount you put in. It is not a religion so
dont expect worship or faith. You dont have to go to church every Sunday but a
date every once in a while helps!

Attraction is different from love.  Im attracted to haagen-daaz but if i eat it
everyday, i would get sick of it.  It's sad but people dont change, we just
get sick of seeing each other or we get used to each other.  It's become too
easy just to blame others for our unwillingness to work for what we want, what
we aspire, what we dream for, what you call "fairy tales". The princes never
had the princess handed to them on a silver platter, so why should the same be
for real life?  Cinderalla had to put on the glass slipper, the prince had to
find her, what have we done for each other? A 30NT plate of stinky tofu from
Shilin night market just doesn't cut it.

It is impossible, absolutely impossible to maintain a relationship on each
others looks alone. Helping to fulfill each others basic needs (food, shelter,
protection, sex) is also inadequate.  That is the relationship between a pet
and an owner, in this case, a really big and expensive pet. It's interactions
between each other's personalities that ultimately determines the "success"
rate of love. That being said...the chance of you finding a good guy whose also
good-looking is slim to none. Either date the ugly or ok-looking good guy, or
become an elementary school teacher and re-educate kids and hope someday you
can cultivate some really good people to date your own kids cause parents
these days just arent doing their job.

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作者: johnhsieh (johnhsieh) 看板: EngTalk
標題: Re: [Mind] fairy tale no longer exists
時間: Wed Apr 18 15:31:22 2007

I, myself, have a different perspective of love I would like to share.

Love is a complex relationship mentally and physically. It is a

compound of assorted feelings and some of which can be one and only,

thus leads to love is exclusive and of one's will.



Some say love is not about reward, which I oppose. My stance is all

human behaviours has to do with amount of effort they put in and the

reward they get. If the expectation of one is met, most likily they

will keep going. I am not saying you will get returns of whatever you

put in, but in one way or another. Since everyone perceives

differently, therefore the reward of certain actions variates amount

people. For example, a man gives a woman flower and a woman gives a man

flower, which person do you think undergoes more pleasure?



I don't believe in love on first sight but one's look does have a

degree of influence on the chance of success. If the mutual affection

for each other is not built before their interest fades, they will just

break up. The longer a couple is together, the more common interest and

thinking they share which reinforces their bond. Therefore I think love

is an extention of fondness of any sorts.

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作者: kellygirl (kellygirl) 看板: EngTalk
標題: Re: [Mind] fairy tale no longer exists
時間: Wed Apr 18 21:02:07 2007

I think putting a value on something you consider complex is like trying to
grasp air.  I just think its tiring to always expect rewards for your actions.
If the person cares enough about you...you will probably always receive rewards
for your actions. Friends that borrow money from you and never return a cent,
are probably not people you would want as friends...so of course your lover, if
that person loves you, will return your affection...just dont put an exact
number on your reward, if you even want to consider it as a reward not as just
mutual affection.
I think there are three things in life that you should do without a need for a
reason, to help someone, to save someone, and to love someone.  It might seem
stupid or useless...but it just seems a lot less burdensome and fulfilling
life.

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作者: johnhsieh (johnhsieh) 看板: EngTalk
標題: Re: [Mind] fairy tale no longer exists
時間: Fri Apr 20 11:42:07 2007

Sorry if I have mislead you,I wasn't clear with my writing before.

I agree with you that love shouldn't be quantitized but I think certain level
of interactions can affect love. I was inspired by the movie "The holiday",
there was a kind of love called unrequited love. It is the kind of love you
give with out return in any kind, I think this kind wouldn't last long.
Shakespear said love is blind, but I think it is temporal. The point I am
trying to convey is love is reciprocal and it involves both of the couple,
not just keep on giving. The outcome of previous experiences will also
influence the next one. In the beginning love is without reason, however, to
continue and strengthen the bond "reward" is required. By "Reward" I don't
mean in materialized, instead it is a abstraction of any response you get.



Out of topic talk
I am new to bbs, and having a hard time using it. Do I have to use "enter" for
my post everytime? since the PCMan browser wouldn't change line for me >.<
Do I have to get another browser or is there any other way around it, so I
don't have to reformat whenever I made a mistake.

--
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◆ From: 140.116.177.119
※ 編輯: johnhsieh       來自: 140.116.177.119      (04/20 12:10)
※ 編輯: johnhsieh       來自: 140.116.177.119      (04/20 12:11)
推 jeffya90318:what do u mean by "quantitized?"
→ jeffya90318:or actually u wanna say "quantify?"