[Mind] marriage

[inferetial (promising future)]

May I talk about my trouble here?
Actually, my trouble is not about whether to get married or not.
The fact is that I am troubled by my friends’ marriage affairs.
…………… (divide)

During Chinese New Year, I had a small class reunion.
My previous classmates brought lots of news which are all about loveship and babies.
Our talks are about who has got married, who has had babies, who are going to get married…..etc.
There was one who even shared her experience of delivering her baby girl.
I am 26 and just got my graduate degree.
Their lives upset me for my life is quite dry or not interesting to them.
…………. (divide)

I keep asking myself how and where to know the right person on earth.
Why do they get married easily? Why cannot I find the right person?
I hardly have particular feeling or show loving concern for boys.
No one can make my heart beat fast.
I treat them as friends simply.
Whenever I know they like me, I feel uncomfortable talking to them.
I am not cold actually.
Instead, I don’t want them to spend time on me.
……………..(divide)

Will you be with the person even though you know he is not the right one in advance?
Will you get married for sake of marriage?
I don’t like pursuing and being pursued or playing love.
I am extremely shy in front of boys I like.
I have no idea of how to pursue or lure boys.
I am a happy person and never think of marriage things
but my friends push me to think.
It troubles me a lot.
The talk repeats whenever we meet and chat together.



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◆ From: 123.195.19.119

> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <

作者: obiter ([歐比特] 加油 ^^) 看板: EngTalk
標題: Re: [Mind] marriage
時間: Fri Feb 23 15:50:19 2007


Mmm... ok, so are you saying that you don't have any particular feelings for

boys? Or are you saying that you do come across boys that you like, but you

are just shy?


Whatever that case, I don't think there should be any reason to rush into a

relationship, let along marriage.  I know what you mean, and it can be quite

hard with all the pressure etc.  But you've just got to believe that what is

supposed to happen will happen, and if you're supposed to meet someone, you

will eventually.


I wouldn't recommend "making yourself" fall in love with someone.  Or worse

yet, go out or even marry someone without having serious feelings for them.

Love is not something that you can just force.  It should be natural, at

least I believe so. :)


P.S Just on a side point, is "loveship" a word??

※ 引述《inferetial (promising future)》之銘言：
: May I talk about my trouble here?
: Actually, my trouble is not about whether to get married or not.
: The fact is that I am troubled by my friends’ marriage affairs.
: …………… (divide)
: During Chinese New Year, I had a small class reunion.
: My previous classmates brought lots of news which are all about loveship and babies.
: Our talks are about who has got married, who has had babies, who are going to get married…..etc.
: There was one who even shared her experience of delivering her baby girl.
: I am 26 and just got my graduate degree.
: Their lives upset me for my life is quite dry or not interesting to them.
: …………. (divide)
: I keep asking myself how and where to know the right person on earth.
: Why do they get married easily? Why cannot I find the right person?
: I hardly have particular feeling or show loving concern for boys.
: No one can make my heart beat fast.
: I treat them as friends simply.
: Whenever I know they like me, I feel uncomfortable talking to them.
: I am not cold actually.
: Instead, I don’t want them to spend time on me.
: ……………..(divide)
: Will you be with the person even though you know he is not the right one in advance?
: Will you get married for sake of marriage?
: I don’t like pursuing and being pursued or playing love.
: I am extremely shy in front of boys I like.
: I have no idea of how to pursue or lure boys.
: I am a happy person and never think of marriage things
: but my friends push me to think.
: It troubles me a lot.
: The talk repeats whenever we meet and chat together.

--
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◆ From: 222.152.199.85

> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <

作者: inferetial (promising future) 看板: EngTalk
標題: Re: [Mind] marriage
時間: Fri Feb 23 23:35:08 2007

sorry..I know it is a bit controdictory but
it is hard to explain my case in a simple word.
I have a heart breaking story.
All I can tell you is that...
I was not attractive before beacuse I was overweight.
After I sucessfully lost weight, I find boys' attitude change.
I think it occurs every day in Taiwan.

I do agree with you, so that I won't rush into a relationship.
To better and improve myself is more important than marriage.
I feel pity that I have no romantic encounter to enrich my life.
I just came across those I don't have particular feeling for.
Does it make clear to you?

By the way, as for the word "loveship",
yes...you cannot find this word in dictionary.
I got this word from the novel I've read.
I think it probably can describe the act or display of love.
Take "friendship" for instance.
Friend+ship...it is an act of showing friendliness.

Thanks for your response.
Ifeel much better now.

※ 引述《obiter ([歐比特] 加油 ^^)》之銘言：
: Mmm... ok, so are you saying that you don't have any particular feelings for
: boys? Or are you saying that you do come across boys that you like, but you
: are just shy?
: Whatever that case, I don't think there should be any reason to rush into a
: relationship, let along marriage.  I know what you mean, and it can be quite
: hard with all the pressure etc.  But you've just got to believe that what is
: supposed to happen will happen, and if you're supposed to meet someone, you
: will eventually.
: I wouldn't recommend "making yourself" fall in love with someone.  Or worse
: yet, go out or even marry someone without having serious feelings for them.
: Love is not something that you can just force.  It should be natural, at
: least I believe so. :)
: P.S Just on a side point, is "loveship" a word??
: ※ 引述《inferetial (promising future)》之銘言：
: : May I talk about my trouble here?
: : Actually, my trouble is not about whether to get married or not.
: : The fact is that I am troubled by my friends’ marriage affairs.
: : …………… (divide)
: : During Chinese New Year, I had a small class reunion.
: : My previous classmates brought lots of news which are all about loveship and babies.
: : Our talks are about who has got married, who has had babies, who are going to get married…..etc.
: : There was one who even shared her experience of delivering her baby girl.
: : I am 26 and just got my graduate degree.
: : Their lives upset me for my life is quite dry or not interesting to them.
: : …………. (divide)
: : I keep asking myself how and where to know the right person on earth.
: : Why do they get married easily? Why cannot I find the right person?
: : I hardly have particular feeling or show loving concern for boys.
: : No one can make my heart beat fast.
: : I treat them as friends simply.
: : Whenever I know they like me, I feel uncomfortable talking to them.
: : I am not cold actually.
: : Instead, I don’t want them to spend time on me.
: : ……………..(divide)
: : Will you be with the person even though you know he is not the right one in advance?
: : Will you get married for sake of marriage?
: : I don’t like pursuing and being pursued or playing love.
: : I am extremely shy in front of boys I like.
: : I have no idea of how to pursue or lure boys.
: : I am a happy person and never think of marriage things
: : but my friends push me to think.
: : It troubles me a lot.
: : The talk repeats whenever we meet and chat together.

--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) 
◆ From: 123.195.19.119

> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <

作者: Attui (吃早餐的日子) 看板: EngTalk
標題: Re: [Mind] marriage
時間: Sat Feb 24 14:01:08 2007


ther r board called

alltogether
penpal
oldtogether(ptt2)

if u wanna meet sb via net, show ur "sincerity" and "wisdom"

i bet u will be swarmed with nice guys' letters XD


i know many good graduate ones from nctu , nku, even ntu.



i do think most of they r much much muich much much better than me

but they still have no "ideal"gf.


wrong pricing occurs for good.

therefore, the only problem is whether u wanna know goood guys or not.


action speaks louder than words.


~(￣▽￣)~(＿△＿)~(￣▽￣)~(＿△＿)~(￣▽￣)~

※ 引述《inferetial (promising future)》之銘言：
: sorry..I know it is a bit controdictory but
: it is hard to explain my case in a simple word.
: I have a heart breaking story.
: All I can tell you is that...
: I was not attractive before beacuse I was overweight.
: After I sucessfully lost weight, I find boys' attitude change.
: I think it occurs every day in Taiwan.
: I do agree with you, so that I won't rush into a relationship.
: To better and improve myself is more important than marriage.
: I feel pity that I have no romantic encounter to enrich my life.
: I just came across those I don't have particular feeling for.
: Does it make clear to you?
: By the way, as for the word "loveship",
: yes...you cannot find this word in dictionary.
: I got this word from the novel I've read.
: I think it probably can describe the act or display of love.
: Take "friendship" for instance.
: Friend+ship...it is an act of showing friendliness.
: Thanks for your response.
: Ifeel much better now.
: ※ 引述《obiter ([歐比特] 加油 ^^)》之銘言：
: : Mmm... ok, so are you saying that you don't have any particular feelings for
: : boys? Or are you saying that you do come across boys that you like, but you
: : are just shy?
: : Whatever that case, I don't think there should be any reason to rush into a
: : relationship, let along marriage.  I know what you mean, and it can be quite
: : hard with all the pressure etc.  But you've just got to believe that what is
: : supposed to happen will happen, and if you're supposed to meet someone, you
: : will eventually.
: : I wouldn't recommend "making yourself" fall in love with someone.  Or worse
: : yet, go out or even marry someone without having serious feelings for them.
: : Love is not something that you can just force.  It should be natural, at
: : least I believe so. :)
: : P.S Just on a side point, is "loveship" a word??

--
┌內有雜七雜八  　                               http://www.pixnet.net/CQD
↓                                                                      ↑
http://www.wretch.cc/album/attui                          　內有萬艦齊發┘

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◆ From: 59.113.176.52

> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <

作者: beeline (Dunno) 看板: EngTalk
標題: Re: [Mind] marriage
時間: Sun Feb 25 12:06:32 2007


  I'm a girl.

  And got a similiar situation with inferetial.

  Already 25, but not in a steady relationship.

  Actually, never got a relationship among the past 25 yrs.

  Extremely embarrassed about being positive about find the one.


  I know, it's cool to be alone.

  Maybe it'd be better to stay single if you're not ready.


  But somtimes I'd still wonder what's wrong with me or

  what's wrong with those guys desperately looking for the one.


  At times, I do think so and feel depressed.

  And became a little cynical to The L Word.

  I think my case is even worse than you.


  But just like the old saying goes,

  "You're nobody 'til sombody loves you."


  Most of the time, I still wrould like to belive those love stories.

  And try to know more friends.

  After all, there's no loss to get more friends.


  Good luck to you and me.

  :-)



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◆ From: 61.68.104.91

> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <

作者: inferetial (promising future) 看板: EngTalk
標題: Re: [Mind] marriage
時間: Sun Feb 25 16:20:46 2007


Of course, I do know there are boards as such.
It is quite easy to make friends through internet.
However, Iam not "wise" enough to tell good guys from bad guys.
It is kind of risky for me to know guys in cyberspace.
Not eveyone in cyberspace is trustworthy.
Ithink most people agree with my point.

To be honest, I have some romantic imaginations at times.
I hope someday Ican pluck up my courage to leave the current environment
  and begin a travel.
Maybe Ican come across someone on travel or abroad.
Maybe I can get along with him at all cost.
Ilearn the plot of romance from movies. :P
I do have a teacher who met a Frenchman on travel.
She has been with him for years.

Imaginations are imaginations.
Everyone has some romantic imaginations.
As I grow old, I don't believe these big dream will come true in my life.
Ihope Ican meet someone through working places, charity organizations,
 or schools.
At least, Ican ensure these guys are basically good.
My friends suggest I should register the institution where matchmakers can help
 the unmarrried to find the one for life.
Fill out the form and list some requirements, then the manager will
  search for the one you may like.
It is so-called blind date.

Am I talkative?
The above I mentioned seem too far-fetching for me.
I have something more important to do now.
Maybe several years later, I will need a matchmaker to help me out.


※ 引述《Attui (吃早餐的日子)》之銘言：
: ther r board called
: alltogether
: penpal
: oldtogether(ptt2)
: if u wanna meet sb via net, show ur "sincerity" and "wisdom"
: i bet u will be swarmed with nice guys' letters XD
: i know many good graduate ones from nctu , nku, even ntu.
: i do think most of they r much much muich much much better than me
: but they still have no "ideal"gf.
: wrong pricing occurs for good.
: therefore, the only problem is whether u wanna know goood guys or not.
: action speaks louder than words.
: ~(￣▽￣)~(＿△＿)~(￣▽￣)~(＿△＿)~(￣▽￣)~
: ※ 引述《inferetial (promising future)》之銘言：
: : sorry..I know it is a bit controdictory but
: : it is hard to explain my case in a simple word.
: : I have a heart breaking story.
: : All I can tell you is that...
: : I was not attractive before beacuse I was overweight.
: : After I sucessfully lost weight, I find boys' attitude change.
: : I think it occurs every day in Taiwan.
: : I do agree with you, so that I won't rush into a relationship.
: : To better and improve myself is more important than marriage.
: : I feel pity that I have no romantic encounter to enrich my life.
: : I just came across those I don't have particular feeling for.
: : Does it make clear to you?
: : By the way, as for the word "loveship",
: : yes...you cannot find this word in dictionary.
: : I got this word from the novel I've read.
: : I think it probably can describe the act or display of love.
: : Take "friendship" for instance.
: : Friend+ship...it is an act of showing friendliness.
: : Thanks for your response.
: : Ifeel much better now.

--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) 
◆ From: 123.195.19.119

> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <

作者: inferetial (promising future) 看板: EngTalk
標題: Re: [Mind] marriage
時間: Sun Feb 25 16:42:22 2007


To beeline:

Many thanks for your response.
Iam glad to see those who share the same values
                   and also confront the similar difficulties.
I don't understand why some people endeavor to find the one desperately.
What makes me more uncomfortable is that they impose their values on others.
Their values freak me out.

"It is better to have babies as early as possible"
"When a woman's beauty fade away, no guy wants you"
balabala...... make me totally speechless.
I wish I could I have a happy family of my own in the near future.
But...it is not about the time.

There is one case.
One of my friends has been with her BF since college.
She told me she was very sad for she cannot break up with her BF.
They are of the same age, but her BF plans not to get married until he is 35.
Idon't know how to comfort her.
She has been talking of changing a BF for years.
The worst is that she cannot find anyone to replace her BF's position.
Time just slips away.
She makes no change at all.

good luck to you :P
※ 引述《beeline (Dunno)》之銘言：
:   I'm a girl.
:   And got a similiar situation with inferetial.
:   Already 25, but not in a steady relationship.
:   Actually, never got a relationship among the past 25 yrs.
:   Extremely embarrassed about being positive about find the one.
:   I know, it's cool to be alone.
:   Maybe it'd be better to stay single if you're not ready.
:   But somtimes I'd still wonder what's wrong with me or
:   what's wrong with those guys desperately looking for the one.
:   At times, I do think so and feel depressed.
:   And became a little cynical to The L Word.
:   I think my case is even worse than you.
:   But just like the old saying goes,
:   "You're nobody 'til sombody loves you."
:   Most of the time, I still wrould like to belive those love stories.
:   And try to know more friends.
:   After all, there's no loss to get more friends.
:   Good luck to you and me.
:   :-)

--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) 
◆ From: 123.195.19.119

> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <

作者: tearjason (jason) 看板: EngTalk
標題: Re: [Mind] marriage
時間: Sun Feb 25 18:30:53 2007

※ 引述《beeline (Dunno)》之銘言：
:   I'm a girl.
:   And got a similiar situation with inferetial.
:   Already 25, but not in a steady relationship.
:   Actually, never got a relationship among the past 25 yrs.
:   Extremely embarrassed about being positive about find the one.
:   I know, it's cool to be alone.
:   Maybe it'd be better to stay single if you're not ready.
:   But somtimes I'd still wonder what's wrong with me or
:   what's wrong with those guys desperately looking for the one.
:   At times, I do think so and feel depressed.
:   And became a little cynical to The L Word.
:   I think my case is even worse than you.
:   But just like the old saying goes,
:   "You're nobody 'til sombody loves you."

It's so not ture.

Before somebody loves you, you are already precious and worth being loved.


Romantic love and intimacy are most people's basic needs, but they can
NEVER determine the value of you and the meaning of your life.

Enjoy your life, whether being alone or not,
just because you deserve it.

:   Most of the time, I still wrould like to belive those love stories.
:   And try to know more friends.
:   After all, there's no loss to get more friends.
:   Good luck to you and me.
:   :-)

--
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◆ From: 203.64.246.17

> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <

作者: cleep (irene) 看板: EngTalk
標題: Re: [Mind] marriage
時間: Fri Mar  2 23:14:55 2007

Well....
I'm in the same situation as you guys....
Everytime I come home, all my relatives will ask the same question...
"Do you have a boyfriend yet?"
It's really frustrate to answer the same question again and again...
And each time my answer would be "not yet.."
Then the next question would be like "how come?..."
" don't be so picking"
this kind of dialogue will repeat over and over again....
Even the collegues or ordinary friends will ask the same question...
Perhaps." Do you have a boy/girl friend" has become a kind of greetings....

Also the way they ask questions sounds like that they feel sorry for me..
or "what's your problem?"
I really have bad feeling about it....

I do want to have a boyfriend...
want to experience the so- called "romantic love"
Want to hold somebody's hand walking under the sunshine
Want to see movies in somebody's arm....
But it doesn't mean that I have to make compromise just to
be in a relationship.....
So it would be my luck to find someone...
But if there is not someone waiting for me....so what?
I'm very satisfied about my life right now...
In the end, we all will be alone...




--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) 
◆ From: 59.115.55.108
推 Attui:in the long run, we r all dead. ur conclu is very orz
噓 hiphoppuppy:maybe u havn't met a right person
推 xtasy:幫推回來
推 xtasy:Be your-self,let others say what they want to say,it is
→ xtasy:human nature to judge,but you can choose to ignore it
→ xtasy:and live your life your way.
> -------------------------------------------------------------------------- <

作者: rainbowsperm (Vicky) 看板: EngTalk
標題: Re: [Mind] marriage
時間: Fri Mar  9 11:19:31 2007

※ 引述《cleep (irene)》之銘言：
: Well....
: I'm in the same situation as you guys....
: Everytime I come home, all my relatives will ask the same question...
: "Do you have a boyfriend yet?"
: It's really frustrate to answer the same question again and again...
: And each time my answer would be "not yet.."
: Then the next question would be like "how come?..."
: " don't be so picking"
: this kind of dialogue will repeat over and over again....
: Even the collegues or ordinary friends will ask the same question...
: Perhaps." Do you have a boy/girl friend" has become a kind of greetings....
: Also the way they ask questions sounds like that they feel sorry for me..
: or "what's your problem?"
: I really have bad feeling about it....
: I do want to have a boyfriend...
: want to experience the so- called "romantic love"
: Want to hold somebody's hand walking under the sunshine
: Want to see movies in somebody's arm....
: But it doesn't mean that I have to make compromise just to
: be in a relationship.....
: So it would be my luck to find someone...
: But if there is not someone waiting for me....so what?
: I'm very satisfied about my life right now...
: In the end, we all will be alone...

haha, that's damn trun
I think I will be asked the same question few years later^^
hey, if you don't mind we can have some chat and be friends
coz I don't have many in tw now
mine is [e-mail]
looking forward to meet u^^

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