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Dial 'm' for mediocre By STEVE PERSALL c St. Petersburg Times, published June 5, 1998 Crime buffs insist that there's no such thing as a perfect murder. Movie buffs argue that there's no such thing as a competent remake of an Alfred Hitchcock classic. Yet we have director Andrew Davis with the nerve to attempt both in one dull swoop, titled A Perfect Murder just to rub it in. Davis, who was convinced after The Fugitive that he's a world-class talent, puts a 1990s spin (or is it a wobble?) on Hitchcock's 1954 hit Dial M for Murder. More sex, more greed, more gore, much less suspense. Michael Douglas plays Steven Taylor, one of those snappy, sneering dressers that he has been reprising ever since Wall Street. Expensively tailored suits are now his calling card, the way tunics were for his father, Kirk. Steven is suffering from bad securities deals and a cheating wife named Emily (Gwyneth Paltrow). He decides to have her killed and grab her inheritance with the assistance of a third party, Emily's lover, David (Viggo Mortensen). Aside from the basic outline and several threatening telephone calls, Davis and screenwriter Patrick Smith Kelly don't match their vintage inspiration. There's only one "Hitch." Davis doesn't toy with the audience's allegiance, as Hitchcock did. Ray Milland's character in 1954 was a sympathetic schemer. We could sense how hurt he felt that his wife had cheated on him, and how desperate he was to inherit her fortune. We might even silently root for him to succeed because Grace Kelly's character was so cold (plus adultery was still shocking in 1954). Then our loyalties shift as we realize what a rotten husband he truly is. On the other hand, Douglas is unappealing and arrogant from the start. Steven is humorless and ruthless and played by the actor as a guy who deserves to be left behind. When the tables are turned on him, there is no conflict in our minds about whether he should be exposed. Without any compassion for Steven, the second half of A Perfect Murder degenerates into a typical would-be thriller with lots of dark places and things that suddenly jump out while high- strung music gooses the audience into a gasp. Hitchcock always understood that movie tension comes from showing the audience more than the characters on screen know. Dial M for Murder laid out its scheme for our awareness, then made us squirm through all of the ways it might fail. We never know exactly what anybody's next move is going to be in A Perfect Murder. Therefore, we don't anticipate anything, and anticipation is crucial to suspense. Paltrow fares a little better in a role that was one highlight of Grace Kelly's screen career. Paltrow has that chilly blond look that Hitchcock loved, and she's adept at shifting between a beaming smile and pursed-lip vulnerability. However, Emily doesn't appear as mentally sharp as her predecessor. She reacts to the noose tightening around her, but doesn't do much to find out who's tugging the rope. An ending that was reportedly added after lukewarm test screenings of A Perfect Murder takes the usual violent steps to make her appear tougher. The third wheel on this rickety vehicle is Mortensen, who appeared ready for stardom after a strong performance as the drill instructor in G.I. Jane. Mortensen lets his high cheekbones and bohemian hair do most of the work here as Emily's lover and Steven's pawn, David Shaw. Even after we learn that David has a criminal past, he doesn't seem ambitious enough to attempt any double-cross. Kelly's script skims over the particulars, and Mortensen puts little feeling into his lines. He does have a chin dimple to equal Douglas', though, as one confrontational scene illustrates. The only advance in the genre to be uncovered in A Perfect Murder is the introduction of a police detective of Middle Eastern descent, though his nationality remains unidentified. It's rare to find characters from that corner of the world in a glossy Hollywood production unless they're terrorists or goofy convenience store clerks. Detective Mohamed Karaman (David Suchet) is a good cop, instinctive and caring. He even gets to speak his native language in a couple of subtitled instances. He still isn't allowed to solve the case. That such a relatively minor role should be so noticeable says a lot about the American film industry's previous attitudes toward Middle Eastern movie types. The fact that it's the only thing worth remembering about A Perfect Murder says everything about the movie. MOVIE REVIEW Grade: C A Perfect Murder Director: Andrew Davis Cast: Michael Douglas, Gwyneth Paltrow, Viggo Mortense Screenplay: Patrick Smith Kelly, based on the stageplay and screenplay Dial M for Murder by Frederick Knott Rating: R; violence, profanity, sexual situations Running time: 110 min. Studio: Warner Bros.