推 ChesterB:前言寫得蠻感人的 看歌迷第一部分摘錄 似乎內容也不賴 11/16 12:34
推 Foucault:熊熊以為是我自己寫的... 心有77焉 11/16 17:54
→ Foucault:那種矛盾/複雜/隱密的過程,實在很難對外人道. 11/16 17:54
推 moon777:謝謝分享，寫得很感人。 11/17 02:56
http://tinyurl.com/c3wl5tq
前言
PROLOGUE
As I drove my car through the dark cobblestone streets of Castelbuono, Italy,
I turned my phone on. Text messages started rolling in, one on top of
another, so fast that I couldn’t read them. Flashes of phrases like “Is it
true?” and “Are you okay?” piled on top of one another on the screen,
layers of questions and concern. I had no idea what news they were talking
about, but I knew it wasn’t good.
當我在義大利的街頭上開車 我打開手機 一堆簡訊傳來 多到我根本來不及讀 很多寫著
是真的嗎 你還好嗎 一個接著一個 我不知道他們在講什麼 但我知道大事不妙
In Castelbuono, my family’s hometown, many people have two homes, one in the
town, where they work, and a summer retreat up in the mountains, where they
plant vegetable gardens and tend fig trees. I had spent the evening at the
summer home of the man who had rented me a house down in the town. He had
invited me to a dinner party with six or seven other people, and I was the
guest of honor, because in Castelbuono, having flown in from New York is
reason enough to be warmly and widely welcomed.
在我家族在義大利的家鄉 大部分人有兩個房子 一個在靠近工作的城裡 一個是夏天去
休息的山裡 種樹和果園 我住在一個人租給我的夏天度假房裡 他邀請我去參加一個晚餐
約會 剛從紐約飛來受到熱情歡迎
It was June 25, 2009. There weren’t many of us at the table, but as at any
good Italian dinner party, there was more than enough food, wine, and grappa.
During the dinner, I turned off my phone. Having spent years of my life
tethered to a cell phone, I’ve grown to love those moments when good manners
force me to shut it down. The other guests and I lingered in the balmy night,
then finally said our good-byes to our host, and around midnight I headed
with a few friends back to the house I’d rented, following my cousin Dario’
s car down the dirt mountain roads into the city.
這天是2009年的六月25 餐桌上沒有很多人 但這是很棒的義大利晚宴 很多食物 紅酒 期間
我關掉了我的手機 多年來我的生活老離不開手機 有這樣的時間來休息是很棒的 很棒的夜
晚 最後跟主人說再見 半夜時 我和幾個朋友上路要回到租的房子 跟著我表弟的車子開回
去
Now, as the stream of text messages flooded my phone, my cousin Dario’s car
swerved suddenly to the side of the road and came to an abrupt stop. As soon
as I saw him pull over, I knew that what I was starting to glean from the
texts had to be true. I rolled to a stop behind Dario. He ran toward my car,
shouting, “Michael’s dead! Michael’s dead!”
我的手機裡擠爆了簡訊 我的錶地突然把車子開到路邊停下 當我看到她停下 我知道我手
機裡的簡訊是真的 我停在表弟車後 他跑來我車旁 大喊 麥可死了 麥可死了
I got out of my car and started walking down the road, with no plan or
destination. I was numb. Shocked.
我走出車外 朝著路的盡頭走 不知道方向 我麻木震驚了
I don’t know how much time passed before I finally dialed one of Michael’s
most loyal employees, a woman I’ll call Karen Smith. Was this one of Michael
’s schemes? A prank on the press or an ill-conceived attempt to get out of a
concert? Sadly, Karen confirmed that what I had heard was true. We cried on
the phone together. We didn’t say much. We just cried.
我不知道時間過去了多久 我最後打了電話給麥可最忠心的員工Karen Smith 問說這是麥可
的計謀? 一個跟媒體的玩笑? 還是計畫躲避演唱會嗎? 不幸的Karen告訴我這是真的 我們
在電話上痛哭 不知該說什麼 只是哭
After I hung up the phone, I just kept walking. My friends were still waiting
back in my car. My cousin was following behind me saying, “Frank, get in the
car. Come on, Frank.” But I didn’t want to be around anyone.
我掛了電話 還是一直走 我朋友在車裡等我 我表弟跟上來說 FRANK 上車吧 但我不想要
在任何人身邊
“I’ll meet you at home,” I called out as I walked away from them. “I just
want everyone to get away from me.”
我說 我會跟你在家中碰面 我想要逃離所有人
And then I was alone. I walked up and down the cobblestone streets, under the
streetlights, late into the summer night. Michael, who was a father, a
mentor, a brother, a friend. Michael, who was the center of my world for so
long. Michael Jackson was gone.
只剩我一人 我朝街道走去 街燈下 麥可是個對我來說是個父親 是導師 是兄弟 是朋友
這麼久以來麥可是我生命的中心 麥可傑克森走了
I’d first met Michael when I was four years old, and it hadn’t taken long
for him to become a close friend of my family’s, visiting our home in New
Jersey, spending Christmases with us. As a child, I’d spent many vacations
at Neverland, both with the rest of my family and alone. As teenagers, my
brother, Eddie, and I had joined Michael to keep him company on the Dangerous
tour. When I was eighteen, having grown up with Michael as a mentor and
friend, I went to work for him, first as his personal assistant, then as his
personal manager. To be honest, I didn’t ever have a clear title for my
position, but it was always personal. I helped to conceive the idea for a
network television special honoring his thirty years in show business. I was
alongside him as he made the Invincible album. And when Michael was falsely
accused of child molestation for the second time, I was named as an
unindicted co-conspirator. The pressure of that trial was more than any
friendship should be expected to bear. For nearly all of my life, until
Michael’s death—over twenty years in all—I was with him in one capacity or
another, through ups and downs, struggles and celebrations, always as a close
friend and confidant.
我第一次遇見麥可是在四歲 而且他很快成為我家族的朋友 拜訪我們在紐澤西的家
一起過聖誕節 我還是小孩時 我很多假期都是在夢幻莊園 有時是跟家人 有時只有我一人
去 清少年時我弟和我參加了危險之旅去陪麥可 當我十八歲時 我去為他工作 一開始是
個人助理 然後是個人經理 老實說我沒有個確切的職位 但每次都是"個人"的 我幫助他
籌辦了30週年單飛演唱 在他製作萬夫莫敵時也在她身邊 而當麥可第二次被指控臠童案
我被告是共謀者 這個案子帶來的壓力是任何友情都很難承擔的 幾乎我的一生 直到麥可
去世 超過二十年 我幾乎都在他身邊 有高點 有低點 有掙扎 有喜慶 一直都是他親近的
朋友
Knowing Michael was both an ordinary and an extraordinary experience. From
the very beginning (almost—after all, I was only four), I knew that Michael
was special, different, a visionary. When he walked into a room, he was
captivating. There are plenty of special people in the world, but Michael had
a magic about him, as if he were chosen, touched by God. Wherever he went,
Michael created experiences. His concerts. His Neverland estate. His midnight
adventures in far-flung cities. He entertained stadiums full of people, and
he enthralled me.
認識麥可是一個平凡但又同時不平凡的經驗 從一開始 我就知道賣可是特別的 不同的
當他走入房間 他是很迷人的 這世界上有很多特別的人 但是MJ身上有魔法 就好像他是
特別被上帝觸摸挑中的 不論他去哪 麥可創造了非凡的體驗 他的演唱會 他的夢幻莊園
他在異國半夜的探險 他在擠滿人群的體育場娛樂大家 他令我著迷
But at the same time, he was a regular, expected presence. I always
appreciated the moments we shared. But I never looked at him as a superstar.
He was my friend, my family. I knew I wasn’t living a traditional life. Not
compared to what my friends were doing. I knew this was not normal. But it
was my normal.
但同時他也是個一般人 我一直很珍惜我們相處的時間 我從來不把他當成是超級巨星
他是我的朋友 我的佳人 我知道我不是活在個一般的生活 和我其他的朋友相比 我知道這
些不是一般的 但對我來說卻是一般的
It was no accident that when I heard the news of Michael’s death, I walked
away from my friends and family. From the very beginning, I kept my
relationship with Michael to myself; his fame required that his friends be
discreet. When I was a kid, it was easy enough to just compartmentalize. I
had one life at home in New Jersey, going to school and playing soccer,
occasionally bussing tables and cooking at my family’s restaurants, and
another with Michael, having adventures and hanging around. The two never
intersected. I did my best to keep them separate.
我聽到麥可的死訊 我走離了我的家人和朋友不是個意外 我和麥可的關係是屬於我自己的
他的名望導致他的朋友需要很謹慎 當我還是小孩子時 這很容易劃分 我有一個生活是在
紐澤西的家裡 去上學 踢足球 有時幫家裡的餐廳煮飯 另一個生活是和麥可的 在各地冒險
兩個生活從沒有交錯 我盡力把兩個生活分開
When I started working for Michael, I moved into a completely confidential
world and the rest of my life took second place. I didn’t talk about what
happened at work, not the everyday details of what had to get done, not the
darkest moments of false accusations and insane media spectacle, not the
joyful moments helping children and making music.
當我開始幫麥可工作 我進入了一個保密的世界 而我生活其他所有的事情變成第二
我不去談工作發生的事情 不去講每天要做的細節 也不去講在那最黑暗的日子 錯誤的指控
和媒體的瘋狂 也不去講幫助孩子和製作音樂的開心時候
Living in Michael’s world was a rare and special opportunity, of course, and
that was why I stayed there. But, without my realizing it, the discretion
affected me. From a very young age, I trained myself not to talk freely. I
kept everything inside and suppressed most of my reactions and emotions. I
was never one hundred percent open or free. That’s not to say I lied—
except, I’ll admit, when I was working for Michael and told people I’d just
met that I was a door-to-door Tupperware salesman and that I was very proud
of the plastic we manufactured. Or that my family was from Switzerland and
was in the chocolate business. With my close friends and family, I never
lied, but when it came to my experiences with Michael, I chose every word I
said carefully. Michael was a private person, and so am I. I didn’t want to
call attention to myself or to have people look at me differently because of
my connection to Michael, and I certainly didn’t want to be the source of
any gossip about him. There was plenty of that already. Speaking is
revealing. It’s still hard for me to talk freely: I always think, and think
again, before speaking.
在麥可的世界生活 是很少和特別的機會 而這也是為什麼我留在那裡 但我不了解的是
謹慎行事影響了我 在很小的時候 我訓練自己不要隨便亂說 我把所有事情藏在裡面 而且
壓抑我的情感 我從來無法完全的開放 這也不是說我老是說謊 不過我承認 當我為麥可工
作時 我會告訴一般我遇見的人說我是行銷員 我對於我們製造的塑膠非常自豪 我的家人從
瑞士來 而且從是巧克力事業 對於我親近的朋友和家人 我從沒說謊 但當談到我跟麥可的
事情 我對於每個要說出口的自非常小心 麥可是個重隱私的人 我也是 我不想要引人注意
因為我和麥可的關係而對我另眼相看 而且我也不想成為八卦的源頭 外面已經夠多八卦了
對我來說 還是很難隨意的談論 我總是在說話前一想再想
Over the course of our relationship, Michael played many roles. He was a
second father, a teacher, a brother, a friend, a child. I look at myself, and
I see the way my experiences with Michael have shaped and molded who I am,
for better and for worse. Michael was the greatest teacher in the world—to
me personally and to many of his fans. At first I was a sponge. I agreed with
all of his thoughts and beliefs and signed on to them. From him I learned the
values of tolerance, loyalty, truthfulness.
麥可在我的生活扮演了多重腳色 他是第二個父親 老師 兄弟 朋友 孩子 我回頭看我自己
我想今天的我是受到麥可的塑造 不論好與壞 麥可是世界上最好的老師 不論是對我還是對
很多他的歌迷來說 一開始我像是海綿 我同意他所有的想法 相信他們 從他身上我學到忍
耐 忠誠和誠實的價值
As I got older, our relationship evolved, and I began to see more clearly
that he wasn’t perfect. I became a protector of sorts, helping him through
the hardest times. I was there for him when he needed a friend—to talk, to
brainstorm and conceptualize ideas, to just hang out. Michael knew he could
trust me.
當我長大 我們的關係也有所改變 我開始看見他並非完美 我變的有點像是保護者 幫助他
經過最難的時間 我在他需要朋友時 需要腦力激盪時陪在他身邊 麥可知道他可以相信我
When Michael and I had free time at Neverland Ranch, his 2,700-acre
fantastical home/amusement park/zoo/retreat near Santa Barbara, we liked to
kick back and relax. Sometimes he would ask me if we should just get some
movies, stay in, and “stink.” (Michael had a particular affinity for
juvenile jokes about body odor.) On one of those days, when the sun was just
about to set, Michael said, “Come on, Frank. Let’s go up to the mountain.”
Neverland was nestled in the Santa Ynez Valley, and mountains surrounded the
property. He named the tallest one Mount Katherine, after his mother. The
property had numerous paths that led up to the peaks, where the sunsets were
extraordinary. We drove up one of those paths on a golf cart, sat down, and
watched the sun flame out behind the mountains, shadowing them in purple. It
was there that I finally understood the “purple mountain majesties” of “
America the Beautiful.”
當麥可和我在夢幻莊園有閒暇時間時 我們會放鬆休息 有時他會問我何不拿個電影然後
聞起來有味道呢 (麥可很喜歡開人體味的笑話) 而當太陽要下山時 麥可會說 來吧FRANK
我們去爬山 夢幻莊園坐落於山谷中 他把最高的山取名為KAtherine 夢幻莊園有無數小徑
通到山頂 夕陽很美 我們會開著高爾夫球車 上山 坐下來 看著太陽消失在山後 一片紫光
就是在那裡我才了解purple mountain majesties” of “America the Beautiful
Sometimes helicopters flew over the property, trying to take pictures. Once
or twice they saw us up in the mountains, and we sprinted away from them,
trying to hide behind trees. But this time all was still. Michael was in a
reflective mood, and he started talking about the rumors and accusations that
plagued him. He found it all both funny and sad. At first he said he didn’t
think he should have to explain himself to anyone. But then his tone changed.
有時會有直升機飛來想拍照 有時他們會看到我們在山上 我們會很快逃到樹後面躲起來
但這一次麥可談到了那些傳聞和指控 他覺得一切既搞笑但又悲哀 他說一開始 他認為他
不需要跟任何人解釋自己 然後他改變了說法
“If people only knew how I really am, they would understand,” he said, his
voice tinged with equal parts hope and frustration. We sat there in silence
for a bit, both of us wishing there were a way for him to reveal himself, to
have people truly understand who he was and how he lived.
他說 如果人們了解我是怎樣的人 他們會了解的 他的聲音充滿了半是希望 但又半是沮喪
我們無聲的坐在那裡一陣子 我們都希望有方法讓他展示他自己 讓人門真的了解他是誰
他是怎麼生活的
I think about that night often as I mull over the roots of Michael’s
predicament. People fear or are intimidated by what they don’t understand.
Most of us lead familiar lives. We do what our parents or the other role
models around us have done. We follow a safe, comfortable, easily categorized
path. It’s not hard to find other people who lead lives similar to those we
chose. This was not the case with Michael. From the very first, alongside his
family and later on his own, he forged a completely original path. Innocent
and childlike as he was, he was also a complicated man. It was hard for
people to know him because they hadn’t seen anyone like him before, and, in
all likelihood, never would again.
當想到MJ的困境 我常常想到那天晚上 人們害怕她們不了解的事情 多數人有著一般的生活
我們遵照父母或其他模範做事 我們遵照安全容易的道路 對我們來說要找到跟我們有類似
生活 做類似決定的人很容易 但對麥可來說不是 從很早開始 當他和他的家人 到他後來自
己 他創造了一條原創的路 他既純真而且像個小孩 但同時他也是個很複雜的男人 對人們
來說很難了解他 因為人們沒看過任何像他一樣的人 同時恐怕也不會再有他這樣的人
Michael’s life ended abruptly and unexpectedly. And when it did, he was
still misunderstood. Michael Jackson the superstar—the King of Pop—will be
remembered for a long, long time. His work endures—a testament to his deep
and powerful connection with millions of people—but somehow the man became
obscured and lost behind the legend.
麥可的人生結束的突然和出乎預期 而當這發生時 他還是一直被誤解 超級巨星 流行樂
之王的麥可傑克森 會一直被記住 他的作品強烈的連結了上百萬人 但不知為合 麥可這個
人 變的不清晰 而被拋在他的傳奇之後
This book is about Michael Jackson the man. The mentor who taught me how to
make a “mind map.” The friend who loved to feed candy to animals. The
prankster who donned a disguise and pretended to be a wheelchair-bound
priest. The humanitarian who tried to be as great and generous in his private
life as he was in public. The human being. I want Michael to be seen as I saw
him, to be understood with all the silly, loving, challenging, imperfect
beauty that I loved.
這本書是關於麥可傑克森這個人的 教導我怎樣建立心靈地圖的導師 他愛餵糖果給動物
愛惡作劇會打扮成坐在輪椅上的牧師 一個慈善家 不論在公眾或私下都希望做到最好和
給予最多 他是一個人 我希望麥可再人們眼中就像我眼中一樣的 人們了解他笨笨 可愛
愛挑戰 不完美的美麗 這些都是我所愛的
My greatest hope is that, as you read this book, you can put aside all the
scandals, all the rumors, all the cruel jokes that surrounded him later in
his life, and come to know him through my eyes. This is our story. It’s the
story of growing up with a guy who happened to have one of the most
recognizable faces in the world. It’s the story of an ordinary friendship
with an extraordinary man. It started simply; it shifted and evolved as we
both grew and changed; it struggled for a footing when people and
circumstances came between us . . . and most of all, it endured. Michael was
a rare being. He wanted to give greatness to the world. I want to share him
with you.
我最大的希望是 當你讀完書 你能拋下所有醜聞和傳言 所有在他生命後期環繞的殘酷笑話
能夠透過我的眼睛了解他 這是我們的故事 這是一個故事描述在一個全世界最有名的人身
邊長大的故事 他的開始很簡單 而後來我們都長大和改變了 當人們和環境進入我們之間
的掙扎 和要忍受的一切 麥可是很少見的人 他想要給世界最好的 我希望和你們分享他
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在一個充滿仇恨的世界 我們仍須勇於希望 在一個充滿憤怒的世界 我們仍須勇於安慰
在一個充滿絕望的世界 我們仍須勇於夢想 在一個充滿猜忌的世界 我們仍須勇於相信
---------------by 麥克傑克森
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