[專欄] 騎士隊老闆致克里夫蘭鄉親父老的一封信 - L3 獨家中文翻譯

[denny000123 (denny)]

Dear Cleveland, All Of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters
Wherever You May Be Tonight;

親愛的克里夫蘭鄉親父老

As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he
deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier.

如同你們所知，我們過去的民族英雄，吃我們奶水長大的那個人，拋家棄子去京城當駙馬
爺去了

This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional
build-up culminating with a national TV special of his "decision" unlike
anything ever "witnessed" in the history of sports and probably the history
of entertainment.

而他竟然用極其自戀的方式，透過全國電視直播的特別節目來傷害我們幼小的心靈

Clearly, this is bitterly disappointing to all of us.

他真是個王八蛋

The good news is that the ownership team and the rest of the hard-working,
loyal, and driven staff over here at your hometown Cavaliers have not
betrayed you nor NEVER will betray you.

但是我要告訴你們，騎士隊上上下下並沒有背叛你們，也絕對不會背叛你們

There is so much more to tell you about the events of the recent past and our
more than exciting future. Over the next several days and weeks, we will be
communicating much of that to you.

針對這個沒懶趴的男人，我們有好多賭爛的話想要跟你們說；但是我們決不可以讓自己一
直活在過去的傷痛

You simply don't deserve this kind of cowardly betrayal.

因為你們真的不值得被這個爛男人的下三濫行為耽誤終身

You have given so much and deserve so much more.

你們幫他生這麼多小孩，他竟然還在外面偷吃，這個不要臉的男人豬狗不如

In the meantime, I want to make one statement to you tonight:

我要在這邊向大家發誓

"I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA
CHAMPIONSHIP BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER ‘KING’ WINS ONE"

我們克里夫蘭騎士隊，一定會比那個自稱為老大其實是俗仔的爛男人還要早贏得NBA總冠
軍！

You can take it to the bank.

所言若假願遭天打雷劈

If you thought we were motivated before tonight to bring the hardware to
Cleveland, I can tell you that this shameful display of selfishness and
betrayal by one of our very own has shifted our "motivation" to previously
unknown and previously never experienced levels.

大家應該都知道，如果自己原本最愛的老公在外面偷情，我們對他的愛就會變成十倍的恨
，就像韓劇”大老婆的反擊”裡面演的一樣

Some people think they should go to heaven but NOT have to die to get there.

有些人想要現在就放棄，自殺一走了斷

Sorry, but that's simply not how it works.

但是不行，我們一定要先把那個男人的雞雞咬下來，再剁成肉醬叫他吃下去才行

This shocking act of disloyalty from our home grown "chosen one" sends the
exact opposite lesson of what we would want our children to learn. And "who"
we would want them to grow-up to become.

這個爛男人曾經對他的小孩滿口忠孝仁愛禮義廉恥，現在自己做出這種十惡不赦的事情

But the good news is that this heartless and callous action can only serve as
the antidote to the so-called "curse" on Cleveland, Ohio.

他以後一定會遭到報應

The self-declared former "King" will be taking the "curse" with him down
south. And until he does "right" by Cleveland and Ohio, James (and the town
where he plays) will unfortunately own this dreaded spell and bad karma.

除非他自己自我了斷之後，含在嘴巴，跪在地上跟我們道歉，要不然他就準備被XX吧！

Just watch.

等著瞧

Sleep well, Cleveland.

克里夫蘭的鄉親父老，祝你們有個好夢

Tomorrow is a new and much brighter day....

明天將會艷陽高照

I PROMISE you that our energy, focus, capital, knowledge and experience will
be directed at one thing and one thing only:

我保證我會把這個單親孩子養大成人

DELIVERING YOU the championship you have long deserved and is long overdue....

然後叫他去把他那個不是人的爸爸的30CM咬掉！


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