I was once helplessly infatuated with a girl. The burning affection for her
has, till recently, been dampened into a history; that is to say, I did not
win her heart at last. Grievance? Little. Hatred? Far from it. In fact, I
appreciate her refusal a lot.
I'm never a so-called prodigal son who always has presents at hand to
please the targeted girl. Rather, I'm still a dependent child, having to
beggar the living expense from parents. Therefore, hardly can I afford to buy
a decent present that glitters; in this case, I'm forced to take some other
ways out.
In the very beginning, I planned to drown her with love letters. They were
all written in English, a perfect language for romance, and added up to
roughly one hundred pieces in total (an amount that pales beside Petrarch's).
However, shy as I am, most of them were merely kept in my diary, without shown
in the light. Some of the seen letters, perhaps unbelivably, were written in
my English compsition assignments or exams. Even more incredible was that I
once got an "A++" in my mid-term examination. Ever since then, I have been
thrilled with the cool idea of being an amateur writer.
Nevertheless, words are to be read, and the frequent reading of them, I'm
afraid, might sometimes upset her; to save her of the trouble, I decided to
sing my mute words aloud. Sad to say, I'm always ill at ease when holding a
microphone to sing songs, so I began hugging a guitar to accompany me. But my
trouble did not end so soon. To be frank, I'm never good at singing-- that is,
she won't fall prey to my voice, either. Reluctant to give up in this way, I
picked up violin to sing for me and-- sooner than any girl-- got deeply
smitten with its glamor myself.
Suddenly, I no longer felt lonely and, in the meantime, halted my chasing
pace. It's because I have already felt so warm at seeing my guitar and violin
huddle together cheek by jowl. There is no need to seek warmth from some other
place, for I could feel it in my arms, upon my shoulder, and right within my
hands.
I don't win her heart, but maybe win something more.
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