[新聞] A new look at the Yankees-Red Sox rivalry

[lieblich (shmily)]

From:http://0rz.net/681JH

BELOVED TEAM CAPTAIN

Yankees: Derek Jeter.

Red Sox: Jason Varitek.

Edge: Yankees. Varitek was hitting .243 before he had knee surgery
and went on the disabled list. Jeter is having one of his best seasons as a
Yankee. The fans in the Bronx have been chanting "MVP" at him. Fans in Boston
figure to chant something else we can't print here.


CURIOUSLY POPULAR STADIUM SONG

Yankees: "Cotton-Eye Joe" by Rednex.

Red Sox: "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond.

Edge: Red Sox. "Sweet Caroline" is the lesser of two evils here. But
at least you can sing along. "Cotton-Eye Joe" is noise pollution at this point.


CRANKY OLD LEFTY

Yankees: Randy Johnson.

Red Sox: David Wells

Edge: Yankees. The 42-year-old Johnson isn't what he used to be but
has won 13 games. Wells, 43, spent most of the season on the disabled list and
has made only six starts. He also refuses to talk to the media, which is a
public service at this point.


EXPENSIVE USELESS PITCHER

Yankees: Carl Pavano.

Red Sox: Matt Clement.

Edge: Red Sox. Clement has been on the disabled list for two months. But
at least Boston got 18 wins out of him after giving him $25.5 million before
the 2005 season. Pavano received $39.9 million and he hasn't pitched in 417
days.


BILLIONAIRE OWNER

Yankees: George Steinbrenner.

Red Sox: John Henry.

Edge: Yankees. John Henry should be commended for revitalizing Fenway
Park and resolving the Theo Epstein mess last winter. But would you know him if
you saw him on the street? Steinbrenner has lost a step but he's still the most
famous team owner in the country.



HOT-SHOT YOUNG RELIEVER

Yankees: Scott Proctor.

Red Sox: Jonathan Papelbon.

Edge: Red Sox. Pabelbon has come back to earth in the second half but
he still has an 0.89 ERA and 32 saves. When he has proper rest, Proctor is as
good as anybody.



SMARTER-THAN-WE-ARE GENERAL MANAGERS

Yankees: Brian Cashman.

Red Sox: Theo Epstein.

Edge: Yankees. Has anybody in baseball had a better year than Cashman
? He wrestled power away from the Boss toadies in Tampa, Fla., waited out the
Phillies to get Bobby Abreu and kept Gary Sheffield under control. Epstein quit
, came back and then sat tight at the deadline.



MANAGER

Yankees: Joe Torre.

Red Sox: Terry Francona.

Edge: Even. Saint Joe has done a good job of keeping the Yankees together. But
Francona has the newest Series ring and a flawed team of his own to deal with.
He's an underrated leader.



STRANGE HAIR

Yankees: Jason Giambi's new mustache.

Red Sox: Manny Ramirez's braids.

Edge: None. These guys actually look in the mirror and say "Yeah, that looks
good." It boggles the mind. Giambi looks like an extra from a 1970s television
show.


UNTRUSTWORTHY SET-UP MAN

Yankees: Kyle Farnsworth.

Red Sox: Julian Tavarez.

Edge: Yankees. The Red Sox have pretty much given up on Tavarez, so
the Yankees get the nod here. Both guys throw hard and are a little crazy. Just
don't tell them we said so.


LATE-GAME HEROES

Yankees: Not Alex Rodriguez.

Red Sox: David Ortiz.

Edge: Red Sox. The Yankees have one goal in this series, not to have
Ortiz up with a chance to win the game in the bottom of the ninth inning.
Because he will. Big Papi has more credibility in Boston than anybody since
JFK. The Yankees don't have a walk-off wonder.



PLAYER THEY WISH THEY HAD BACK

Yankees: Tom Gordon.

Red Sox: Johnny Damon.

Edge: Yankees. Boston made a colossal blunder letting Damon go to the
Yankees in favor of trading for Coco Crisp. The breakfast cereal/center fielder
has looked overwhelmed as a member of the Red Sox. The Yankees certainly could
use Gordon, who walked away as a free agent. But his absence is less damaging.


IN SUMMATION

The Yankees have a 6-4-1 edge. Give them the series, 3 games to 2.
















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◆ From: 61.228.168.152
推 IronChef:We want Pedro back
推 RollingWave:XD..Peter Abraham寫的東西都滿歡樂的
→ RollingWave:we want the old Randy Johnson back T_T
推 ithinkurdumb:then we want Babe back.
推 kevinc921:NOT A-ROD XDXDXDXD
→ ithinkurdumb:Maybe Babe and Pedro can have some fun
→ RollingWave:and strange hair.. how about Sal Fasano = =b
推 Baudelaire:Cotton-Eye Joe is just a GODDAMN NOISE!
推 pathfinder:.....Alex 快離開NYC，這裡沒人愛你....
推 mikehu:可以問一下那首歌是啥嗎  好像沒聽過耶
推 alexfun:wake up~u damned Pavano!Maybe i'll drill u in the ass
推 AdamHuangNew:顏色用的好怪..><
推 How0428:NOT AROD好機車XD