→ chaos0807:囧 請外文系大隊支援 01/14 12:26
推 chaos0807:推→原來犧牲的本身,已經有先否定自己的意思在了 01/14 13:22
推 trulyway:很棒！超受用的 剛好呼應了我最近的難題！ 謝謝 01/14 21:44
→ trulyway:要推原po才是 :P 推錯 01/14 21:45
我在這篇文章下面的回文,我要改變我的想法,
因為我以前都認為犧牲奉獻是好人, 不求回報是善的好表現,
家人和朋友間,總是這樣互相傳遞善意, 但到接受者的本身有好有壞的反應
付出的人,也會有很多委屈,懊悔,或失望沮喪。。。。
結果剛剛抽版有提供的奧修線上開悟卡, 抽到＂犧牲 ＂
原來犧牲的本身,已經有先否定自己的意思在了。。無我的作為,也是我們中國有的理想
打了很多 還不如讓大家看原文感覺:
貼文自http://www.psychologyofvision.com/3cardproblem.asp：
Key concept: Compensation to pay off guilt; giving without receiving; hidden
competition; fear of intimacy
Sacrifice is based on a belief that we are unworthy, stemming directly from
guilt. It is an act in which we go into a form of slavery, because we have
stopped loving ourselves. So we give, but do not receive, and soon run out of
energy.
This leads to exhaustion and burnout. Sacrifice is a fundamental
defence against a loss we have suffered, but never recovered from. So our
defence against these feelings is to help others as a form of avoidance, so
that we do not have to deal with our own pain.
It is also about our anger toward others for failing us, and the belief we now have to perform their
roles. In reality, however, underneath this anger we believe we have failed
them. Sacrifice, then, is an attempt to pay off this illusory guilt.
This dynamic, which begins in childhood, is at the heart of what creates the
family patterns we have carried into our present relationships, and into our
way of being in the world. In fact, most sacrifice is generated out of family
patterns. One may be in sacrifice to try to save the family (the martyr
role).
But this never helps, because we are really using the family to hold
ourselves back. This type of ‘untrue helping’ becomes a form of enabling,
which is based on a secret fear of the one(s) being helped getting better.
That would mean the ‘untrue helper’ would also then be called to move
forward. So sacrifice becomes a defence against intimacy and against taking
the next step.
When you are in sacrifice, you are ‘in fusion’ with another,
not knowing the boundaries between yourself and the ones to whom you are
enslaved. Within this fused relationship, you either place yourself above the
other – in the sense that you feel you have to carry them – or you put
yourself below them, in that you feel you have to give up your own life in
order to receive love and approval. In either case, anyone in sacrifice is
afraid of having an equal relationship and afraid of intimacy.
Whether you are seemingly above or below the other, there is a hidden judgement of the
person you are sacrificing for. If you see yourself above the other, you feel
superior; if you see yourself below them, you feel morally superior. So
sacrifice actually feeds competition, which in turn, generates divisiveness,
separation and fear.
Using the card: If you receive this card today, you are being asked to
examine areas where you are not receiving, as this is a sure sign you are in
sacrifice in some way.
The insidiousness of sacrifice makes everything
difficult and burdensome, partly because, typically, we sacrifice out of our
love for another, while devaluing ourselves. This makes us less attractive in
both our own and the other’s eyes. Who is it you are in sacrifice to? What
burden are you carrying that does not belong to you and which you are using
as a form of avoidance, especially of intimacy? Sacrifice is a way of
avoiding the contact which leads to success. In sacrifice you can work very
hard and do lots of things, but, because you don’t give yourself, you don’t
succeed.
Today, you are asked to be true to yourself. As Polonius says in
Shakespeare’s Hamlet, ‘To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as
the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man’ As you free
yourself, you will free others. As you live truly, others, too, can then live
truly and authentically.
--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 220.133.165.185